Damn, It's Good To Be A Man!

by RR 3 Replies latest social humour

  • RR
    RR

    Damn it's good to be a man

    Your last name stays put.

    The garage is all yours.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    Chocolate is just another snack.

    You can be president.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

    The world is your urinal.

    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

    Same work ... more pay.

    Wrinkles add character.

    Wedding Dress $5000. Tux rental $100.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

    The occasional well rendered belch or fart is practically expected.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

    Your pal can be trusted never to trap you with, "So, notice anything different?"

    One mood, ALL the time.

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    You know stuff about tanks.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    You can open all your own jars.

    Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

    You can leave the motel bed unmade.

    You can kill your own food.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

    If you are 34 and single and nobody notices.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

    You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

    You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking, "He must be mad at me."

    You don't mooch off other's desserts.

    You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

    You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

    You almost never have strap problems in public.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years ... maybe decades.

    You don't have to shave below your neck.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

    Damn, It's Good To Be A Man!

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

    Guilty!

  • sableindian
    sableindian

    You know what? Women can do most of those same things too thing and relish in it. So what KIND of man are we talking about here...or should I ask is this just one of those stereotypical send this or die emails?

    And without the expletive, women aren't so bad either. Speaking of which....I gotta write my thingy on Dinah.

    Have a blessed one!

    PS

    Now, what you SHOULDa said was, "men don't have to buy something that goes on their legs and in the next 30 minutes buy another one because what they just bought is ruined with a run." *sigh* Of course, women are getting smart enough to not buy stockings anymore either. So, I guess women are saying, yeah, I guess you're right. It's so good being a man in those standards...we're gonna do it too.

  • footprints
    footprints
    You don't have to shave below your neck.

    Hell. We don't have to shave at all if we do not want.

    I like being a man

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