Today I visited my JW mother and I asked her a question. I said, "Mom if I was to get married would I be disfellowshiped?" She said "Well since you didn't have scriptual grounds for your divorce I would guess that if you went ahead and got married you would be committing adultery." Of course we all know where that comes from, Jesus' own words to the effect that unless one divorces on the grounds of adultery he or she becomes an adulter when they marry another. My concern is not being disfellowshiped as I have left the JW's seven years ago and have no ties except my mother. My mother after all visits her children two of whom are disfellowshiped which she does on the sly. In this way my mother and I are alike in that we are careful in not letting the right hand know what the left hand is doing. What my mother nor any of my family knows is that I AM married to a wonderful woman, my second wife a non-JW for these past six months and I now have a 8 year old son. My concern is the interpretation of the scripture that all those who marry again are automatically an adulter/adultress. It's not guilt I have, but I would like to have is a good counter argument using JW "logic." I want to be ready. So what are your suggestions? Soon I want to introduce my new family.
My first Post: Am I an ADULTERER?
by The Alchemist 26 Replies latest jw friends
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blondie
What is the status of your first wife? Is she remarried or has she had a sexual relationship with someone else that is provable or known? If so, then the scriptural tie has already been broken by her. If she is still single and has seemed to live a celibate life, then your scriptural marital status with the JWs is that you have committed adultery and if someone told someone in your last congregation, the elders might seek you out judicially.
If you have not attended for 7 years, the policy was to leave you alone unless you started attending again. But that has changed, especially if you still live in the same area.
If you mom associates with other DF'd family members, then would she associate with you if you end up being DF'd. If so, then is there anything else DF'ing might cause you to lose that you value?
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da_luvvin_bruvva
The Alchemist...........
7 years ago, you left on your own accord, right?
So, if you take a look at the WT media website........ http://www.jw-media.org/beliefs/beliefsfaq.htm
It shows this.....
Do you shun former members?
Those who simply leave the faith are not shunned. If, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkenness, stealing, or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers. Every effort is made to help wrongdoers. But if they are unrepentant, the congregation needs to be protected from their influence. The Bible clearly directs: "Remove the wicked man from among yourselves." (1 Corinthians 5:13) What of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still Jehovah's Witnesses? The spiritual ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain. The marriage relationship and normal family affections and dealings can continue. As for disfellowshipped relatives not living in the same household, Jehovah's Witnesses apply the Bible's counsel: "Quit mixing with them." (1 Corinthians 5:11) Disfellowshipped individuals may continue to attend religious services and, if they wish, they may receive spiritual counsel from the elders with a view to their being restored. They are always welcome to return to the faith if they reject the improper course of conduct for which they were disfellowshipped.
Basically, you're damned if you do, and you're damned if you don't. Whatever.
DLB
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The Alchemist
My ex-wife will never remarry because she gets too much almony from me. I do not care if I get DFed. I would like a good counter argument on that scripture. My mother is questioning things in regard to the "truth" and I would like to make her think there is more than just the simplistic JW teachings she has been fed. We have had a few conversations that have left her questioning WT teachings. She even had to ask the elders the meaning of a scripture that ran clearly counter to the WT.
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Satanus
Congratulations on having a great wife and a kid. I don't know how much wieght the following reasoning would carry. The majority of the ot great men of god had multiple wives. God had no problems w that. God claims he doesn'r change. Why do jehovah's witnesses, who take their name from the old testement attempt to second guess the old testement god?
SS
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The Alchemist
Good point SS. Wasn't the real issue in Jesus' day that wives would be divorced for the smallest reasons and out into the street they would go? Times change. So where did Jesus come up with his take on divorce? Who questions these things?
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UnDisfellowshipped
I just wanted to Post some Scriptures here that show how forgiving Jesus Christ really is (the Watchtower Society tries to PERVERT the Teachings of Christ as much as they can):
John 8:1: but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
John 8:2: Now very early in the morning, He came again into the Temple, and all the people came to Him. He sat down, and taught them.
John 8:3: The Scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman taken in adultery. Having set her in the midst,
John 8:4: they told Him, "Teacher, we found this woman in adultery, in the very act.
John 8:5: Now in our Law, Moses commanded us to stone such. What then do you say about her?"
John 8:6: They said this testing Him, that they might have something to accuse Him of. But Jesus stooped down, and wrote on the ground with His finger.
John 8:7: But when they continued asking Him, He looked up and said to them, "He who is without sin among you, let him throw the first stone at her."
John 8:8: Again He stooped down, and with His finger wrote on the ground.
John 8:9: They, when they heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning from the oldest, even to the last. Jesus was left alone with the woman where she was, in the middle.
John 8:10: Jesus, standing up, saw her and said, "Woman, where are your accusers? Did no one condemn you?"
John 8:11: She said, "No one, Lord." Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you. Go your way. From now on, sin no more."
John 8:12: Again, therefore, Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world. He who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of Life." -
Satanus
Good point, undi. To this a watchtowerite will respond that paul said that an elder was to be a husband of one wife. To that, one could respond w the question, who are you following, paul or jesus. Paul said he didn't want followers. People following jesus, obeying his sayings, could be called christians. What would followers of paul be called? Paul had a pharisaic background. Perhaps his followers could be called reformed pharisees.
Just some thoughts.
SS
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The Alchemist
Please tell me if this is a stretch. But aren't JW's spiritual adulterers? Haven't they broken the bonds of marriage first with their adultress affair with the Great Whore; "The Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of Jehovah's Witnesses." I remember unbelieving mates of new ones who were so jelous of their wives new found love. Of course this isn't a good counter argument to a J-Dub. I think they would go into shock if we pull tht one on them!
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Scully
Hi Alchemist:
I've heard the reverse version of your story several times: JW women who flee an abusive relationship with their JW/elder/PO husband, then are summarily DFd without a hearing on grounds of adultery (where no adultery was committed or even contemplated), allowing the husband to divorce her on so-called "scriptural grounds" and remarry within a few weeks.
Where does a guy find a new woman within a few weeks if he's so busy dealing with the fallout of a recent divorce, single parenthood, and the distress of having his life turned upside down and his wife "committing adultery"?
The answer should be fairly obvious: he's had someone else waiting in the wings for a while.
Having said that, 99% of elders would be very hesitant to pursue a DFing against you if you advise them that you will be taking legal action against them PERSONALLY (not the WTS or the congregation) on grounds of slander and defamation of character, and you will leave them alone if they leave you alone.
Good luck, and congratulations on your new family!
Love, Scully
Edited by - Scully on 22 September 2002 8:26:52