I need some input...

by Lin 21 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Lin

  Thank you all for taking the time to write your comments. This has been very frustrating to say the least. It is NOT my intention or desire to judge anyone, I only want to understand. I don't intend to judge anyone, but from simple observations of actions and choices taken by those who claim to be Saved, it causes me to question if such ones are Truly saved, really saved. I loved that comment about those who Possess Christ vs. those who Claim Christ, because I remember very well the scripture referred to about not all claiming to be saved actually would be. That to me is eye-opening. I don't want to be one of the latter. I simply want to understand this topic ERIC! I am not being a busy-body Eric, so buzz off.

  I definitely feel a connection going on with God lately, a very real (almost twilight zone) sorta thing, that I cannot just dismiss as coincidence. But most people I talk to about this cannot understand what I'm describing. My fiance' is very much into science and says he is Saved. I don't understand how they can relate to each other. From things others have described to me about how one becomes Truly Saved, and some of the postings here, I can't help but wonder about the validity of someone's claim to be saved, especially with the recent events that have happened to me. One thing that kind of concerns me is IF God has something He's trying to lead me to, whether it be a church or not, something He wants me to do.....or not, I can't help but wonder how my fiance will feel about this and if he'd be upset or angry about what I feel is the answer to what God wants me to do, etc. If God leads me to attend a church, when my fiance doesn't really feel it's important at all, I don't want him to be upset or think I'm going off my rocker! I would be fine about doing whatever God leads me to do, whatever that is, but I can't help but be somewhat concerned about how it will affect my fiance' and whether he'll be able to REALLY understand, rather than it being "just a feeling" I'm having that he may or may not like or agree with.

  Eric......You're an idiot. If you had taken the time to read my words in my first post, which was a Question (Do you understand the concept of Question?!) you may have realized my questions are sincere and honest. Well....maybe YOU wouldn't. Stupid is as stupid does, or idiot in your case.
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  Dino

  Hi Lin.

  You've got mail!
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  DJ

  Hi Lin,

  Me again. It's ok, don't worry about Eric. It's hard to hear the tone used when you can only read it, ya know? Anyway, if I were you......I'd have to make darn sure that before I actually tied the knot, I'd get some things straight. I would hope that since your fiance claims salvation then he would never get in your way if you wanted to attend a church. Ask him? It doesn't sound like he would be interested but that shouldn't stop you from going if that's what you want. You should just make sure that you are ok with the idea of going w/o him.

  I have been blessed w/ a husband that is also my best friend. I can talk to him about anything and visa versa. I wouldn't want to have it any other way. This issue with your fiance concerns your spirituality and I regard that as a top priority, to have the specifics ironed out before you marry him. My guess is that he would be fine with it and if he's not.....then I would really have to question a lot of things about him. I want the best for you Lin. I've read some of your posts and we have a lot in common. I relate to much of the stuff you say. I mean that w/ all of my heart.

  Claiming Christ is one thing and I really believe that the best indicator of sincerity is the fruits. Is your fiance a loving and kind person? Is he gentle and dependable? Considerate and compassionate? Does he pray? Does he seem to put others first or himself? ETC. You know these things. You also know that just because a person says so doesn't always mean it's true. From being dubs we know that much! If he seems and acts like a Christian should act then he is one. He claims he's saved and I know the scripture that you are referring to! Boy do I! Lord, Lord, didn't we.......right? At the end of that passage Jesus calls them workers of iniquities or lawlessness. The only question you need to ask yourself is if your fiance is a worker of lawlessness or iniquity. That should be obvious to you by now. I hope that you know him that well. If he continues to practice in sinful behavior w/o repentance then I would think you would know by now. Lin, I am giving you all that I know. It maybe isn't enough. I wouldn't dwell so much about who is really saved and who isn't. It is not up to us and yes, it is judging if you need to size everyone up. As far a the b/f goes.....that's a different story...you are to be under his headship, right? Yuk,,,a jw thing, I know. One thing that I had to learn too...lol was that just because the dubs taught something in the bible, it does not ALWAYS mean that they are wrong. (just most of the time.lol) I used to have 'trigger words and verses'. It used to upset me to hear things that I equated w/ the jw's. I eventually learned that's gonna happen and the whole spirit of being a Christian as opposed to a dub is profoundly different even though they have some slight similarities. I have no idea if I worded any of this right but i hope you understand what I mean and that I just want you to be happy and fulfilled and blessed.

  Ugh! my son interrupted me a few times while typing this and well......you know how that goes. Sorry, I personally am thrilled to be under the headship of my hubby. He is sweet and giving and compassionate, he puts me first. I am so darned thankful for him. I want you to be happy under your fiances headship. It is vital, isn't it? I want the best for you.....give it some though, ok? Love, Donna aka dj
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  footprints

  Lin
  When a person accepts the ransom sacrifice and believes in Jesus and accepts that Grace is a gift. It changes the way they look at the rest of their life. No more working to earn life. No more trying to cram forever into 60 or 80 years. No more trying to have the last word, or the last piece of cake. Walking with God becomes a way of life, and that life can be very good. If this is the kind of thing you are experiencing enjoy it. It gets better and better.

  footprints
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  Lin

  Thank you all for your comments, it's been great hearing from all of you. Sentinel, DJ and the rest of you (except Eric) your comments mean alot. DJ, my honey is a wonderful man, very loving, considerate, giving, etc. He's a great catch, for sure. We have discussed all this to varying degrees, but since he's never had any real experience with Dubs it's virtually impossible for him to understand it. He has never so much as implied that he doesn't want me to participate in this board, any groups, etc, the silentlambs issues, etc. Many people have said, to me and my nieces, we should just "move on". Well, they don't understand we HAVE moved on and that we look at these issues and causes from the outside looking in, and that we are in unique positons to be able to help others who are now where we were before. I'm 42 years old, and am very aware of how I was brought up as a Dub, and if there's one person, just one..that I can help, then I feel it's important for me/us to do so. Some have commented, as has my fiance', that they don't really understand why we feel the need and desire to participate in these things, and why we talk about it, etc. Sort of like, Well.....You've left the religion, you don't want to go back, so why stay connected to it even if looking at it from the outside looking in? I just tell them that I would hope if They themselves had knowledge and information about something vital to someone they were in contact with, that they would feel compelled to provide the information they know rather than just have the attitude of not wanting to help someone who really needs the info. If someone knew medical information vital to someone's immediate health, would they not provide the information? I have knowledge and information that is vital for those wanting it about life as a Dub, and I would feel so guilty if I simply turned my back on them thinking I'm not part of that belief anymore so you'll have to talk to someone else. Why not ME? Anyway, thank you all for your comments. I really, really hope you all understand that I'm not trying to judge anyone, I'm really not. It just seems to odd to me these experiences I've been having and couldn't understand why some experience these things and some don't. Your comments have helped me alot. Hmmmm, Not all those calling on the name of the lord will be saved. Good one!
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  jgnat

  Let's see if I can add some thoughts that might help you. My pastor used to say, "Sitting in a garage doesn't make you a car". I figure this means there has to be some action on the part of someone who claims to be "saved" for it to be true. For me, saved was literal. God saved me from a terrible situation. I was broken and lost with nothing to offer when God picked me up. I think this is the way the expression should be used. I responded with the following quote on another thread asking the question, "Are Born Agains Qualified to Help JW's?"

  I believe those who claim to be "Born Again" come in many shapes and sizes. i.e. Joe Jerk finds God. Next week, he is pushing a bible in the face of his family and friends instead of a beer. I used to puzzle over this for years. Now I figure, God needs to do more renovation work on some. Over time, Joe figures out that some of those bible verses also apply to his behavior.

  Is everyone who claims to be saved or Born Again actually so? Probably not. Only God knows the heart. I think no one will know until the seal is broken on the Lamb's Book of Life. On the other hand, I notice the WTS puts a lot of stake in outward works as evidence that your "eternal life" card has not expired. Lin, I hope you don't get stuck on that. In my experience, I am a far better Christian when I pay attention to my inner voice, be flexible, and grow in kindness and love day by day.
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  Lin

  Jgnat, thanks alot. No, I don't think I'll be stuck on that subject, it was just something I wondered about. But, I'm-a-movin-on. :-)
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  gold_morning

  Hi Lin,

  I wrote you once before. I don't know if you remember. You remind me... of ME.. just a few years ago. I do know what you are talking about. You are talking about the holy spirit. It is working in you.

  We are very much not in touch with our spiritual selves. Look at what Jesus words were in John 14:16-20.

  "I will ask the father and he will give you another counselor to be with you FOREVER. the spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him or knows him. But you know him for he lives with you and WILL BE "IN" YOU...............vs26..On that day you will realize that I AM IN THE FATHER AND YOU ARE IN ME AND I AM IN YOU."

  The key words are "in". The holy spirit and Jesus is not with us.....but in us. He resides in us. That is why he knows all about us. Our thoughts, motives, heart condition and desires.

  To further show this closeness, remember when Jesus said..."Destroy this temple and I will rebuild it in three days." He was speaking of himself. He is the temple. Three days later he was resurected.

  Now look at what we are referred to. 1 cor 3:16 says.."Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives IN you?".....................(see the in word again)

  Wow Lin.......see what Jesus is saying here? As you stay close to God and search out Jesus for your salvation you will become more intune to God. Your prayers will become more personal. You will really get to know Jesus as your best friend. You will never be alone. You will have peace because you will know that you will ALWAYS be with him. In this life and in the next. You will never die. That is why at John 8:51 Jesus said that if you keep his word...."you will NEVER see death."

  That is what his death was all about. He died so that we never will !!!! It was a gift he gave us. A free gift. Remember I told you how we don't have to earn it.

  Ephesians 2:8..."For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith and this not from yourselves, it is a GIFT of God......NOT BY WORKS.........

  Lin, producing works cannot save you thru Jesus Christ.......but being saved thru Jesus Christ produces works.

  Each ones salvation and relationship with Jesus is personal. Each one has nothing to do with the other. God cannot be mocked. He knows all. You cannot fool him. Only worry about your own heart condition. It is all about your heart... your heart......and your heart. Just work on that. Not knowledge....not having all the answers. None of that saves you......only your heart for Jesus.

  The next important thing is to be still and listen. Sometimes we can't hear God because we are too busy deciding what he should be saying to us. Some of us have a calling Lin. He may have plans to use you to help others. I don't know, but in his time you will know as long as you stay close to him.

  God Bless...........if you need me.. e-mail me at [email protected]

  agape love Gold.

  To all those out there reading.....Forget all the other books.....all you need is the bible.

  To those that have bad words about being born again.........don't be negative about it until you understand it. love to you all.
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  capbuster

  Hello Lin, Gold morning has some wonderful advice that I personally say from my heart can't be beat. Re read what she said and really seek Jesus out for what he has for you in your life. He's really REAL, and LOVING like she said he is. He want's you you to know him. You can do that by praying to Him for spiritual guideance. He's always there to talk to, and waiting.

  Gold morning I read your profile and want to tell you that what you said you did it in a most gracious way. I'm sure Jesus is so proud of you as I am. I have never met you, but I feel one day I will. You have been doing some studying and it shows, keep up the good work.

  Love in Christ

  Capbuster
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  Lin

  GoldMorning and Capbuster, thank you.

  Goldmorning, I do remember you. I understand completely what you wrote, I feel it. It's a new thing to me needless to say, so these experiences that keep happening cause me to say Woah, what was that? You know? It's odd to have these things happening, because I'd never experienced them before. I do know and believe wholeheartedly that my heart and mind is open to whatever it is God chooses for me to do. I have have times where I've thought that I wanted to just completely distance myself from the entire subject of my Dubhood, my childhood, this board and the others I'm a part of. But........then I suddenly get an email from someone who has seen my posts on Silentlambs, my history posted, and they email me with questions about dubhood, their history much like mine, etc. And I feel COMPELLED to reach out to them, helping them in whatever way I can according to the need they each express to me. Sometimes it's been where they want/need a contact local to them to talk to (an example, one 61 yr. old lady who'se bestfriend/fleshly sister recently passed away and she felt all alone, since she's DA) I was able to put her in contact with people local to her, along with [email protected] for woman just like us. I feel no sense of pride over these things, as if I've done so much. I only feel as though this is what God is wanting me to do right now, help others in whatever way I can. If there's an issue or problem someone has that I don't have knowledge or experience enough to be of help, I know where the help can be found, and I find it for them and pass it on.

  Even my fiance doesn't/can't understand why I feel so strongly about my need to help current, questioning dubs, and those who've left already. I simply have told him that I feel as though I'm in a unique position having had the life I've had so far. I can either push it all back in my mind, trying to forget all I can, never speak of any of it again etc, or...........I can USE my past as a way of helping others who need and ask for it. I told him I feel this is what God is wanting me to do right now, as it brings me further healing and I'm doing good for others. He doesn't have a problem per se about my participation in all these areas, he simply has never had the experiences I've had so he cannot relate. But he did tell me that if I feel this is something God has drawn me to do, then he can't and won't even hint that he has a problem with the time it takes. He's truly a wonderful man, and I adore him.

  My prayer many, many years ago for God to bless me with a good and loving man has been answered in Larry. My wedding day can't come fast enough. :-)