Disfellowshipped at 18

by asensier 52 Replies latest social relationships

  • asensier
    asensier
    Thank you Kate! Writing has helped me a lot even if my parents aren't willing to respond at the moment. As if losing faith isn't a big enough adjustment, I moved from Cardiff to Nottingham! I'm just about settled now but everything has happened so quickly over the past 4 months, just need time to get used to my new circumstances.
  • LoveUniHateExams
    LoveUniHateExams

    Welcome to the forum, asensier.

    It must be tough being shunned but at least you've woken up early (18) and haven't wasted your life in the cult.

    I'm glad to hear that you're starting college soon.

    All the best

    LUHE

  • KateWild
    KateWild
    I'm just about settled now but everything has happened so quickly over the past 4 months, just need time to get used to my new circumstances.-asensier

    Yes it takes time to settle, but you have a boyfriend that has known you for years and you seem to have a close bond. I hope he continues to treat you well

    Kate xx

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    You are being abandoned and it's not an act of love.

    So you are now in the position many of us have been in--having to rebuild your life. I'm glad to hear you have a supportive BF. Get new friends that are trustworthy and supportive, use the "gift" of life to the max by making the most of your intelligence and time. In other words, build a life worth living.

  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway

    Asensier, I have heard a witness mother whose children were in their 20's and left 'the truth' say that she wished they had never been born. She had the most loathsome expression on her face when she said it. This is what that religion does to parents.

    What your mother said has NO truth to it, because you will love your children unconditionally and will support them in their lives, even if you disagree with them or go through some normal teenage friction. Your mother has put something else between you. A parent should never do this and it is unnatural. But it happens every day in witness families.

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    asensier: I later wrote a letter to them explaining that the only ones causing hurt were them as I'm here ready for communication. It was painful to write but I felt I had to make them try to understand that they are choosing the religion over the love for their child.

    Good for you. That was an important step in redefining your relationship with yourself and your parents.

    Don't be surprised if it has little discernible affect right away. But communicating that message is the only way you can both be yourself and have any hope of a mature, real relationship with your parents.

    Now it's up to them.

    Oubliette



  • Sofia Lose
    Sofia Lose

    Welcome.

    Do not become a self-fulfilling prophecy by getting pregnant young. Get as much education as possible, a rewarding job/career, and create networks among enlightened and educated people.

    You are young and most likely this relationship will vanish sooner than you think. Although your age won't help much, while maturity sets in, try to behave as decent as possible.

    SL

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    Never forget... you are not alone.

    That realization is one of the biggest emotion hurdles when leaving; once you've truly realized and accepted it, it's a great feeling.

    Congratulations of choosing to become a whole person.

  • FayeDunaway
    FayeDunaway
    Actually I think the adversity your relationship has already gone through has probably already made you a stronger couple than most, so don't be discouraged by the suggestions it will fall apart any time soon. And I think you are already doing what you should be doing, working and starting college so that your whole future is not necessarily tied up in this relationship.
  • asensier
    asensier
    I may be young but I'm in this relationship for the long run. We don't have the best circumstances, most young couples wouldn't want to be living together so early in a relationship, us included. We're making the best of what we have and so far we're both managing to balance having our own lives as well as having each other. As I said earlier, we're happy and as I'm now living each day as it comes rather than in fear of Armageddon, I feel free and ready to enjoy life to the full :)

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