Probably a dumb question.

by els 19 Replies latest jw experiences

  • els
    els

    Hi, I'm new here. I've been lurking around reading pretty much all of the posts for probably a month. I just registered and set up a profile which has a brief synopsis of my life. Well the first thing I want to ask is, what does dub stand for? Is it for the W in JW? I'll write my story later. Thanks.

  • Scarlet
    Scarlet

    Dub is the W in JW.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Welcome! I am glad you are able to stay in touch with your family. Some time you will have to share with us what your magic is.

    Check out this thread on The Definition of Dub. Enjoy!

  • onacruse
    onacruse

    els...WELCOME!

    No questions are treated as "dumb" on this board!

    I know, I've myself asked dozens of questions that I thought were dumb...always been treated respectfully.

    Again, welcome!

    Craig

  • els
    els

    I guess the magic was not ever allowing it(the truth, my beliefs, why I didn't go to meetings) to be brought up, and if it was I just said I didn't want to talk about it. The last year has been really strange though. My father was really sick last summer and had to have major surgery. He is not real well anyway, he has a muscle disease and is in a wheel chair. Then this spring my mother had an aneurism in her abdominal aorta and had to have surgery for that, but first had to have a double angioplasty. While all this was going on my son Sean (17 then, 18 now) joined the Army Reserve. I thought it was great, which shows you how far I've come. I knew that at some point I would have to tell them but I really didn't want to do that while my mom had this huge aneurism which could burst and kill her. So I waited till after Sean had left for basic training on June 23 then I wrote a letter. I pretty much said that I knew they would hate this but that I was proud of him and that I supported him. And I said that I wanted to be there for them but to let me know what they wanted. I gott a letter back from my Mom saying that she was proud of Sean, past tense, and that she hoped we would study again or that the kids would. She wanted Sean's address at Fort Sill but I didn't give it to her. One of my sisters wrote that if this was my decision then so be it. I haven't heard from any one since until about a week ago two brothers from the last congregation we went to showed up at my door. I don't know them but they knew about Sean and asked if it was correct that I and my husband supported him. I told them Yes and they asked if I had thought about writing a letter to Disassociate myself. I said I was still debating the nessescity of that. Then they asked if we would be willing to come back to meetings or study and I told them not to hold their breath. Anyone have any ideas about what their showing up here means or what will happen next? els

  • els
    els

    I just realized what time it is, gotta go to bed. Please let me know what you think. i'll be back on in the morning or late tomorrow night. Goodnite, els ( short for Elsie )

  • Swan
    Swan

    Dear Elsie,

    First of all, welcome to the board. Second, there are no dumb questions here. It's only in the JWs that you get beaten up for asking questions.

    They were content to let it slide before, but now it seems some in your family may not choose to ignore this. These elders certainly aren't. I heard that disassociation was used in the cases of baptized persons who entered the military, but now they seem to want to apply it to the parents of people who enter the military. Is your son even baptized? Unfortunately, now that they have your scent, they may never let go of you until they either get a letter of disassociation or find a reason to disfellowship you. Either one will cut you off from your JW relatives.

    Just last week I talked with a couple that had move 1000 miles away and tried to just go about their own business. It wasn't enough for the JWs. They had to have a letter of disassociation or find a reason to disfellowship them. Some manage the slow fade, but others, especially those with active relatives, find this very hard to achieve.

    I am sorry that they have to be so black and white about this. I wish I had better hopes to give you. It sounds like you should prepare for the worst.

    Tammy

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Hello Elsie, and welcome on the board. There certainly are no dumb questions, and this is a great place to ask any questions that you might have.

    I was wondering, do the elders know that you celebrate birthday's? Or are your only "sins" being inactive and supporting your son in the army? In my former cong. you would not get DF'd for that. My mum is a JW like that, she celebrates birthday's and socializes with me [I am DF'd] but she isn't in trouble for it. However, I don't know how long that will last.

    Hugs, Viv.

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    "The only dumb question is the question that goes unasked"

  • SweatPea
    SweatPea

    Welcome Elsie. You will learn alot on this board and you get all of the support you need. Great people here.

    Reading all of these posts made me notice something...........the borg has rules but they differ from congregation to congregation. Some congregations stick to them down to the tee and other ones don't. Everyone is not treated equal. Is this not discrimination? It would be in the work place!!!

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