DID YOU ENJOY SHERHERDING CALLS?

by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • SYN
    SYN

    Sheperding Calls are the Society's way of barging into your life to tell you in not so many words how you should be leading it, and, as a result, are widely hated and abhorred by just about any Publisher!

  • Outaservice
    Outaservice

    A Brother made a shepherding call at my place of business and reminded me I was not following the Bible's instruction to 'not forsake the gathering of ourselves together' by my missing several meetings in a row.

    I told him he was not following the Bible either! How so, he asked! I said to him, "When was the last time you greeted the Brothers with a holy 'kiss', which the Bible said we should do!

    He left!

    Did I enjoy shepherding calls? Yes, when I made them, as it was an easier way of getting in time than regular door knocking! And they might offer you a doughnut on top of it! I never gave anyone a hard time though, it was a doughnut thing!

    Outaservice (who just counted a half hour because of this 'post'!)

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! LOL

    Oh, Minimus, you're a wit! "Enjoy" shepherding calls???

    Come on, the truth is NO-ONE likes shepherding calls.

    The flock don't.

    The shepherds don't.

    The only reason they're done is 'cos the "mother" organisation tells them to and they (the elders) know they're going to be checked up on in the C.O. visit and asked if they made any in the previous six months.

    But enjoy them? Not bloody likely, mate!

    BTW the whole topic of shepherding calls demonstrates how far removed from true Christianity is the WTS.

    Cheers, Ozzie

  • FreeFallin
    FreeFallin

    I hated Shepherding calls. We only had two, but they were doozies. The first time, a hardliner older brother came one night, unannounced. I was working on a client, and expected to drop what i was doing, even though I had a deadline to meet. Did alot of running between rooms, while my husband received the full brunt of the "love."

    The second time involved the same older brother, but this time he played the good cop. A younger brother just tore into us with a vengence. I hope no one is offended, but g*ddammit, it was mental rape. When they left I was humiliated,sad and hurt. Fortunately, I became angry as the days passed, and that emotion was easier to deal with. We had to face these same brothers every Sunday and smile like every thing was fine. Oh, and our big crime? Being irregular publishers and not making all the meetings, plus a bible study I had that didn't pan out.

    Free(and damn glad of it)

  • Francois
    Francois

    I think this is where all the original trouble started with the elder "arrangement." There you are snug in your little home, happy as a clam with game on tv, a nice cold six-pac by your chair and your woman at your side contemplating what to do with all that half-time time you're soon to have on your hands, and KABOOM, here at your door stand two geeks from the KH with Wildroot Cream Oil dripping off each and every hair, dressed in their J.C. Penny's best, right down to those Penny's sox with the foxes embroidered right in 'em, and they've come to "adjust your thinking."

    You can tell there's courage in numbers cause any one of these guys would be so shitless scared out of their minds even to be there without the one or two others. And remember, these three guys TOGETHER couldn't adjust the pilot light on your water heater, but here they are to lord it over you to adjust your "thinking."

    So what got it all started was brothers in the congregation given, essentially, domestic police powers over Joe-blow publisher who could have taken off any of the geeks at the pencil neck with one swipe of a #10 pipe wrench. And now, these total misfits come over, uninvited, right in the middle of the game with your wife in her nightie, or less, to adjust your thinking about some matter about as important as two farts in the last hurricane.

    Now, when you don't snap to attention, your flanger flappin' at half-mast, these guys take that as a sign of utter disrespect and start giving you the old one, two, three treatment straight from the flock book. Recognizing this, you're supposed to resist the quite natural urge to skewer these guys through the ears with the fireplace poker and deposit them outside from where they shouldna never ventured in the first place. But hey, they're inside now, and you gotta deal with em.

    Now me, I'd deal with it by dropping trou and having the old lady do a few of those great figure 8s she does so well, but she's a little shy. You're really on your own creativity dealing with this one, but you get the picture. These guys couldn't supervise shoveling shit into a hole and here they are to ruminate with you over the best way to attain eternal life right here on this planet. "I guess I"m gonna get eternal life the same way you guys got to be ministerial servants," I opine, "I'm gonna have to kiss ass until someone says, 'boy, don't he kiss ass good,' and then I'll be a m.s. with all the other ass kissers. I'll be issued my genuine $29.95 suit from Jaque C. Pennier, complete with them sox with the cute little foxes on 'em, and them permanent press gabadarine shirts you couldn't wrinkle by runnin' over them with a fork lift down at the plant. But I'd be an M.S. then, totally unqualified to intefere in the family business inside a prararie dog mound, but HEY!, I might get lucky and get sent round to sister "one foot out's" house who needs a little "encourangement." And she''s gonna get it soon, too, just as quickly as I can get those brats walking over to my house to play with my brats. Of course, Iive ten miles away UPhill, and by the time they get there, I expect my new suit will need pressin since I 'spec my wife'll be drivin' 'em back down here to find out what the hey is goin' on. Never said I was smart like that, but I can give some of the fastest "encouragement" in the congregation and have 'em beggin for more. That's on account of this funny little twisty thing I got on my encourager. Word does get out.

    But I knew years ago the "elder arrangement" wasn't nothing but solid gold opportunity starin' me right in the face if I cold only fake it long enough to get my boyish figure into onna them Penny's suits, and start swaggerin' round like a needed a little private silk carrier for my encouranger.

    That's all for today. But you get the idea. The entire "elder arrangement" is - as we say in cooking - a crock. But it give some of us who know how the opportunity to do a little freelance "stirrin'" you know what I mean? And it give a whoe new meanin' to the word "shepherding"don'tcha know: right outta them sheep's clothing and right into the "sheep" YaHOO, thank the governin' body.

    (you don't think I'm gonna sign this thang do you?)

    Edited by - francois on 9 September 2002 8:23:14

    Edited by - francois on 9 September 2002 8:24:31

  • minimus
    minimus

    Francois and Ozzie, You guys are funny!

  • dsgal
    dsgal

    minimus,

    To answer your second question,NO,I do not want a shepherding call.I'm glad those s.o.b.'s aren't doing their job! I wouldn't even talk to them if they did stop by.I want them out of my life forever!!!

  • Dismembered
    Dismembered

    Going on "sheparding calls" was a total time waster.

    Having them even worse ........................Get the hell out of here!

    Edited by - Dismembered on 9 September 2002 10:33:3

  • goatlike
    goatlike

    the three little judicials;

    one little piggie followed me up and down the streets spying. to catch a glimpse of the alleged acts. could discern a bad word at 100 paces and surmise independant thinking at 1000. probably counted the whole thing as field service time.

    the other little piggie broke into tears when they disfellowshipped me. an overwhelming sense of righteousness. the last little judicial foamed and frothed and lapsed into ancient sanskrit at my very wretchedness.

    i only gave them one visit and that was it

    shepharding calls suck because it means they haven't left you yet.

  • RunningMan
    RunningMan

    Over the years, I have been on both ends of shepherding calls.

    First of all, the giving end. It was generally awkward and the material was simply a canned rehash of some article that seemed appropriate. It always ended with insincere statements of trying to do more, with both sides knowing that it was just a dance, and nothing would change.

    On the receiving end, most were dry and boring, with both sides wanting to get through the official part of the visit, so that they could get to the coffee. The worst visit I ever had was when my cousin (who is a real jackass elder), told me I was murdering my children by not going to the meetings. That was ten years ago. Today, I would not put up with that behavior. He would be on the sidewalk, face down, pretty fast if he tried that today.

    The second worst visit was when my wife suggested that a couple of elders come by to discuss some issues. After a bit of discussion, one of the elders popped out the dfing question, "Do you recognize the Society as being God's representative." While I paused to determine how best to lie to them, my wife answered quickly, "Of course we do".

    Now, I simply avoid them. If they call, I say it's not a good time. If they drop by, I keep a paint roller by the door. If they show up unannounced, I simply pick up the roller, and say I'm in the middle of something.

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