'Covenant' Marriages -- A new type of marriage, harder to divorce

by rebel8 5 Replies latest jw friends

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  rebel8

  As I understand it, covenant marriages are available in a few states. They are a supersonic, superfine version of conservative marriage. It's harder to divorce--it has to be with certain causes or agreement of both spouses.

  Covenant marriages have been criticized by human rights advocates as a potential tool for abusive spouses to restrict the escape of their victims.

  In at least one state, the couple must receive premarital counseling and the signature of the counselor before obtaining a covenant marriage. In others, the couple must receive marital counseling prior to applying for a divorce.

  Since we're talking about jws' belief right now that, due to same sex marriage being recently legalized in the whole of the US, Armageddon will arrive soon. The destruction of the family unit has begun, in their eyes.

  So if they are so into marriage and so certain of their vows, those in states where covenant marriage is legal must be running to their county clerks to get covenant marriage licenses, or convert their existing marriages into the super duper version. I imagine them touting this as a good witness to all those worldlies--look at me, I'm super glued to my spouse 4EVAR.

  So...how many dubs have a covenant marriage? If not, what's the hold up? Why aren't they putting their $ where their mouths are?
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  JeffT

  According to Wikipedia covenant marriages are legal in only 3 states (Arizona, Arkansas, and Louisiana). They are a voluntary option in those states. So far only about 1% of couples opt for such a marriage. I suspect that if push came to shove a good lawyer could figure out a way around the divorce restrictions.
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  rebel8

  Does anyone know if dubs in those states are getting these types of marriages?
  
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  garyneal

  I can see both good and bad in these type of marriages.

  The marriage institution as a whole is a huge gamble for both spouses but especially for men. Some statistics I've heard thrown around are something like 50% of marriages ending in divorce, 70% of divorces initiated by women, and the majority of the reasons given by these women are "I'm no longer satisfied with him." Not abuse, not even irreconcilable differences. Therefore he gets booted out of his house, loses access to his kids, and has to pay child support until the kids turn 18 and, in some cases, lifelong alimony to the spouse.

  That said, no fault divorces do offer protection for the spouses who find themselves in a bad marriage and want out and covenant marriages can be viewed as a potential return to the pre-no fault divorce days where spouses (usually women) find themselves trap in an bad marriage. However, I agree with JeffT that these type of marriages would be annulled by a good lawyer who will undoubtedly find a legal work around that will be set as precedent.

  My answer is to simply do away with the whole institution of marriage as a state institution. Let the individual churches perform marriages as each of them sees fit but only allow for private contracts between individuals that are enforceable similar to other types of private contracts. Since these marriage contracts care more about the property than the marriage (whether private or state imposed) such a marriage license is really nothing more than a piece of paper that has nothing to do with life long commitment between the two parties.

  To answer your question, I'm not aware of any dubs who signed up for it and I doubt a practical thinking dub would sign up for it. I see this as something that the more conservative fundamentalist evangelical Christians would sign up for, particularly those who are part of the quiverful movement.
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  LisaRose

  . Some statistics I've heard thrown around are something like 50% of marriages ending in divorce, 70% of divorces initiated by women, and the majority of the reasons given by these women are "I'm no longer satisfied with him."

  Where are these statistics from? I seriously doubt "I am no longer satisfied with him" is a reason given by many woman at all, much less the majority.

  According to top10s, the number one reason for divorce is marital infidelity. Since statistically men cheat on their marriage more than women, I seriously doubt "I am no longer satisfied by him" is in fact a big reason for divorce. Number two is communication breakdowns, number three is abuse, number four is financial issues. In fact "I am no longer satisfied by him" doesn't even make the top ten. I guess you could include it in the number six reason "boredom", but to prove your point you would have to prove that women get bored more often than men.

  
  

  
  
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  DJS

  As the great 20th Century philosopher, Willie Nelson, once opined, the reason divorce is so difficult and expensive is that it's worth it.