I was disfellowshipped ten years ago. In this time a cousin who is a jdub hasn't said boo to me. Then a couple of weeks ago I get a call from him about a legal matter. He needs my signature on a legal paper before he can go ahead with the sale of some property. (I sold him a small part of the property he's selling 16 years ago). He was as friendly and chatty as could be when he called. Told me all about what's going on in his life, his children's lives and anything else he could think of. Since there are some complications for me in this legal matter and I was on vacation for a week I haven't sent the paper to his lawyer yet. At 8:00 this morning I got another call from him. Just as warm and friendly as could be. Needs that paper signed, but when the matter's all done I'll never hear from him again. The sale of this property means lots of money for him so of course shunning isn't necessary. Typical hipocritical jdub.
Don't shun if money is involved
Seem to me like turnabout is fair play here.
I'd sit on my signature for ten years, especially if it's gonna open me up to anything that hints of having to do with legal.
Chris, why don't you bring this up to him and tell him how much you have been hurt by the whle thing? Perhaps he might apologize or offer to make amends. If he won't, or tries to pull any bible/shunning crap then don't sign the paper and tell him to get bent.
Yeah, and then remind him that he should go and rejoice after being persecuted for the LORD! Hell, maybe he'll even get a JW promotion!
As tempting at it might be to treat your cousin with the contempt he's earned, I'd be more interested in getting it over with and having this hypocrite out of my life for good.
On the other hand, it might be fun to take your time and make him squirm for a while. If he asks about it, you can always say, "Well I know I'll probably never hear from you again once this is done, and I'm just not ready to give up the contact I have with you right now."
I appreciate all your replies. I had several appointments this morning and when I returned home at 12 noon I had a message to call him. It seems he's already squirming. I'll have to be in just the right mood before I return the call. Although I don't really like the guy, I don't really want to cause him too much trouble, but a little squriming is nice.
Some wild thoughts, none of which would be easy unless you have absolutely nothing to lose..
Try to bring him to appreciate that your emotional and social expenditures over the years, to recoup the losses of his and/or his family's association and support, have been very real costs, and are a debt of sorts.
Therefore, because he is 'making an exception' to his own custom of no social contact, in order to realize a transaction, you are entitled to 'make an exception' to your own custom of having not asked remuneration for years of shunning. (Emotional abuse/neglect court awards would make his property proceeds blush.)
Ergo, a signature for a percentage. If you sign it carte blanche, he gains no instruction and you lost a chance to instill social responsibility. It can be only a dollar, as long as he acknowledges that he is recompencing you, in some way, for his shunning. (A contract, with thusly appropriate and informative language, and signed by a faithful servant of the Watchtower.. that would an interesting document to possess, if only for its Faustian soul-receipt value.)
You wouldn't even need to hint at the idea of hypocrisy. Just keep it as businesslike as the Watchtower has led its people to consider social contract. He'll outwardly understand business, and he'll privately reflect on whether or not the hypocrisy is worth it in the long run.
Why don't you tell him that your religion says you aren't allowed to talk to him because your leadership has forbidden it? That'll learn 'em..
Actually, I think the WTS says you can have contact if its for business matters.
Out4good3 - yes turnabout is fair play. I'm thinking about asking him why I shouldn't be as mean spirited as his religion.
Valis - he'd do anything for money.
Elsewhere - I love it.
Scully - your point is well taken.
Teirce - Your idea is a little complicated, but under serious consideration.
SYN - another good idea.
Scarlet - the point isn't that he's taking about busines, it's that he's being so friendly and chatty, trying to get something out of me which is contrary to jdub rules. He could have handled it throughis lawyer. In fact, his lawyer has already called me twice.