by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    There are so many horror stories about elders. Many people dislike or can't stand elders, in general. A number here have been truly hurt by some. BUT, have you ever had any positive experiences with elders? Has anybody truly been helped by an elder? Has your typical experience with elders been that they really don't care?

  • Swan

    I knew some elders who were the kindest, most caring, and sweetest person I ever knew. I feel that they are/were victims just like I was.

    Then there were others on power trips who made life a living hell for the entire congregation.

    Unfortunately I could never bring myself to confide in the good ones. If I couldn't trust my own mother, how could I ever trust an elder, even the kindest one?

    It's really sad.


  • DakotaRed

    Although many may see it as negative, I have to say that the elders definitely helped me. With all their harrassment and unchristian conduct towards me, they helped me see the futility and deceit of the Watchtower. So, in effect, they helped me to get out of that cult!

    Lew W

  • Mimilly

    There were two elders who actually cared about my circumstances. They were extremely caring individuals. Elder number one, one of the ones that ended up judging me, had tears in his eyes when he came to my door to tell me I'd been Df'd. I learned later that he ended up on the psych ward. He did everything he could but was then told to stay away from me because I bewitched men.

    Elder number two told the original perverted elders to leave me alone for three weeks while I adjusted to life outside the hospital. This elder was very prominent and on his way to being a CO. I was in his congregation at the tmie, but they didn't listen to him. He also stepped in to correct the father of my children when he was emotionally abusing them by telling them I was going to die on a daily basis or for not paying child support and constantly ending up in court.

    Sadly, in the end, they tow the party line. I really think elder number one was hard hit by it though.


  • Big Tex
    Big Tex


  • Sangdigger

    Theres no doubt that there were and are some really nice guys serving as elders, and some just absolute power hungry buttholes. But all in all, the ones who are really nice, cant take the pressure of treating individuals the way they are instructed too, and drop out, or go to the psych ward.

    The ones i got close too when i was in the club, (org) would only go along with so much, before they cleared their throat and backed off. Basically they are all legalist with an agenda to carry out. But all too often they themselves are pawns used by the members to get their way in situations.

  • RandomTask

    Dakota, you stole my thunder! Thats exactly what I was thinking.

    There were few that I really felt were genuinely caring, but the very essence of being an elder runs contrary to being caring or compassionate.

  • SPAZnik

    An elder helped me out once.

  • DakotaRed

    RT, from my experience, the truly kind and compassionate ones don't last. The regular types always seemed to find some way to get rid of them.

    The last one I remember was ousted as an elder because he had gotten a job that entailed the occasional delivery of cigarettes. The main one pushing for his ouster worked for Blitz Weinhardt brewery and regulary drove the company van, complete with logos and advertising, to meetings and parked it out front. No one cared about that.

    Lew W

  • seawolf

    uhhh I'm sitting here trying to think of a time that an elder helped me. I know a few times that they tried to help me but it was too little, too late.

    I guess I'd have to say no.

    Some of the elders started off nice and caring. But eventually they got all cold and uncaring and greedy and only caring about their own immediate family and elder royalty.

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