Are you the black sheep?

by sleepy 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • sleepy

    Theres got to be quite a few here who, like me are the only onbe to turn "apostate" in their family.

    Although you know you've done the right thing, all your family think either you have been mislead by Satan or you have turned evil.

    How do you feel around your family,and do you wonder what they think of you?

  • zenpunk

    My family are very blunt about how they feel about me. I'm going to die when the end comes. When they are grandparents I wonder if they think their grandchild will die too.

  • berten

    >Theres got to be quite a few here who,
    >like me are the only onbe to turn
    >"apostate" in their family...

    My family and I have reached a sort of
    unspoken agreement:We do not ever discuss religious
    matters anymore,I do not criticise them or
    their WT borganization.They do not try to convert me
    to their cult.
    I see them only during work (We run a familybusiness)
    and seldom at other occasions...

  • haujobbz

    Well i think i am in a way if you compare me to those who were serious about being a jw in my family,i am the black sheep because even though iv tried to explain about the understandings of the jws,my mum and family still beleive it (DDUUUHHH).You be better off speaking to a wall,"why wont they listen to me" even using scriptures to back up my views they just seem to see me as ungodly or apostate rather than a helper, but at the sametime trust 12 old men they have never met and listen to every bit of [email protected] they shovel out. I dont get it!!!!!!!!

    My mums off to the assembly,is your missus going or are you gonna go if you are let me know on here,you see the trouble is sleepy if we go people like you said will say to themselves see they know its the truth look there coming back "yeah right",maybe we should just stay away, i mean cmon think how glad all your x-mates will be to see you (not)

    But saying that it would be a right laugh going for a few hours,just like the old times,what you gonna do?

    "If you cant beat then join them"

  • openminded

    STOCKTON, CACiting numerous examples of ostracization and failure to fit in, all of Paul and Martha Klessig's three children see themselves as the black sheep of the family.

    Above: Self-proclaimed black sheep Tim, Jack, and Anna Klessig (L to R) with their parents.

    "I've always been the outcast," said son Jack Klessig, 21, a video-store assistant manager and aspiring musician. "Everybody else in my family, they're all, like, these total straight arrows and super-responsible. I'm the only one who's wandered off the traditional path."

    Continued Jack: "Mom and Dad are so proud of Anna and Tim. See, Tim is engaged and is co-owner of a landscaping business, and Mary is actually using her art degree to do her metal work. I got a history degree, but I'm just doing my thing, hoping the band takes off. They think I'm wasting my education and going nowhere."

    Tim, at 29 the oldest of the three Klessig children, feels a similar sense of alienation from the family.

    "I am definitely the odd man out," Tim said. "Mom and Dad know that I'm the only one who smokes pot. You'd think that being in a band, Jack would be a big pot guy, but he doesn't do any drugs. Same with Anna. You gotta be straitlaced to fit in with the Klessigs, and I'm anything but."

    "It also doesn't help that I'm the oldest but still the least responsible," Tim added. "Jack always remembers birthdays and is really good about keeping in touch with phone calls and e-mails, even though he lives in another city. Anna gives Mom and Dad the most thoughtful gifts. Shit, I'm lucky if I can remember my own goddamn birthday. I mean, they're my family, and I love them, but I'll never really belong the way Jack and Anna do. I swear, sometimes I think I'm adopted."

    Anna, 27, said she has felt vaguely disconnected from her family since she was a teenager.

    "Even when I was 14, I knew I was different," Anna said. "Mom and Dad spent way more time with the boys. We'd take family camping trips, and while everyone would be off fishing together, I'd hang back at the campsite and do something creative by myself. And now that I make my living as an independent jewelry designer, that just confirms their suspicions about me being some artsy, loner weirdo."

    Anna also feels that her status as a single woman in her late 20s has increased her marginalization.

    "I'm happily unmarried, and that really blows my parents' minds," Anna said. "Tim is getting married in October, and it's okay for Jack not to be married, because he's a guy, and he's only 21. But not me. Mom thinks I should have a husband and a bunch of screaming babies at my feet. I'm sorry, but if not wanting that puts me on the outside, so be it."

    Told of her children's feelings, Martha Klessig expressed confusion.

    "I'm not sure why they feel that way, " Martha said. "We don't have a judgment scale for our offspring. They're all our children, and we love each of them equally. It's not like my family growing up: I stuck out like a sore thumb because I read poetry and dropped out of college while my brothers got business degrees."

  • BluesBrother

    My wife's the only one that knows what I really think and she has more savvy than to tell the elders.

    She leaves me in no doubt what she thinks. "I've gone mad, and I am going to die at Armaggedon"

  • blacksheep

    Hmmm...does my screen name tell you anything??!!!

    I don't think there's any way I can fancy myself NOT to be the outcast of the family. My family's made that perfectly clear. Made the mistake of getting dunked at 13. Younger brother was smart enough not to, so even though he's led a pretty questionable life, he's in the clear...Older sister is being the good little dub: married an elder and everthing. During my last conversation with her (which will probably be the last for a LOOONG time), she kept pretty much scolding me for how "independent" I am. (Hmmm...let's see, I'm over 30, yes, I do make my own decisions, I'm stable, a mother of 2, lead a pretty decent life...only SHE and the JW's can make "independence" sound so horrible). She calls parents every week and plays their game, brother calls parents basically when he needs money (which is most of the time). No, he's not independent by any stretch of the imagination, but I guess that's GOOD. "Needy" is a good thing in my family....

    Yes, I'm a family outcast. For thinking for myself. For rejecting the JW's. For having the audacity to make my own decisions and take responsibility for my own life. I'm not needy, I'm not contrite, I don't revere the organization (in fact, quite the opposite), I have little patience with the JW games, esp. their shunning activities. Somehow, if I was in prison, a drug addict, a single mom with 11 kids and terribly in need of help, I'd be more acceptable to them. They're funny that way.

  • scootergirl

    baaahhhhhh baahhhhhhhhhh....

    Been the Black Sheep for years, and frankly, I don't mind the title!

  • sleepy

    Hi, I'm dropping wifey off tomorrow at the assembly, might have time to call in and see you.

  • Mimilly

    I AM the blacksheep of my family for a few reasons.

    One, due to my being in the JWs.

    Two, I was abused and told (which included a couple 'family' members')

    Three, because of the extreme coping mechanism I used as a child to survive.

    Four, I don't seem to age. My relatives keep asking who the mother is. (among my girls and I)

    I am the freakazoid and my relatives stare at me at every occasion. But they can buggar-off and live in their ignorance and denial.

    I don't go with the 'flow' and I'm just being 'me'.

    Mimilly of the proud to be a blacksheep of the family class

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