As I am in the midst of continuing bizarre hot/cold treatment from the JW members of my family, a thought occurred to me. If my JW family members DON'T like what I do, feel I've been led down the wrong path, and generally "disapprove" of me, why the heck not just AVOID me altogether??? Why come into and out of my life in whenever THEY deem it desireable?
I finally laid it on the line with my sister, who wanted to be a part of a special life event of mine, while overtly shunning me from similar life events of hers. I called her on her hot/cold behavior. The reason she gave? There IS a distance between us because I'M not living life in accordance with her rules (she didn't say which rules, but they are the JW-imposed rules). So it's okay for her to insert herself into my life whenever she feels the urge, but to overtly deny MY participation in the same/similar parts of her life??
Now, it seems to me MOST people would see the utter unfairness/undesireableness of that attitude. But not my sister, mother, and other JW relatives. Somehow they think it's okay to be involved in MY life on their terms during certain events/times, etc. But it's ALSO okay to overtly SHUN me or deprive me of partcipating in their life events, or in areas where most families would generally participate.
So, what I'm thinking is that it MIGHT relate back to the shunning principle??? They cannot totally cut me out of their life because for shunning to really work, you've got to keep up a certain measure of contact(?) Does the "hot/cold" treatment keep you on your toes or something? Are they even doing it conciously?
I mean if someone REALLY disapproves of you, why not just avoid you altogether? If I'm THAT bad, I'd think they wouldn't want to be around me at all, on any terms. So, I'm thinking this shunning thing really goes a bit deeper. Any thoughts??? Experiences? Explanations?