A JW is emailing me

by Ardilla 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ardilla

    First of all, thanks to all the advices you sent me about having an affair with a married man. I know that isn't a good option, but I needed to hear it from others too.

    I wanted to tell you that some months ago, a Jehovas Witness' cousin sent me an email. He didn't know me, but he told me he heard a lot of his aunt, how sweet I'm. I didn't know that he was jw too, so I answered him, and told him it was cool that he wrote me. But suddenly he told me he got babtized some months ago and that before that he didn't think to became jw, he had long hair, etc. I answered that I'm out of the org and he answered that he knew that and thought it was a pity, because I'm nice, as he heard. He told me that maybe, like him before his baptism, I've my heart sleeping in the spiritual sence, but anyway he didn't want to boring me with this kind of advices. So we email each other for a couple of months. He asked me if I would return to the org, and I answered that I didn't know (at that time I felt guilty until I read the Crisis book of R. Franz, with what I decided to not go back, actually I'm near to of one year out of the org). He asked me also if I had a boyfriend. I hadn't (and still have not). He asked me if my heart was beating... I told him yes (thinking about the married guy I like, but obviusly didn't mention). Suddenly he stopped writing me.

    Two weeks ago I got an email form him again. He told me he's going to a marriage party in the city where I live (he lives 10 hours from here). He said "see you". That will be this 10. August. I just answered "Enjoy it" and nothing else. He wasn't direct, but obviously he wanted to meet me. But you know I was trying to protect my heart of being hurt. I just left the org, not because I broke one of the Organization "law", and my friends stopped to call me. That hurt me. So I thought maybe he gonna make the same thing if I tell him I won't go back. But you know, so many years in the org (11) being 28 years old and withouth boyfriend and have a chance to know someone who wrote me... in fact I liked him when I saw the picture... :) and also to have the oportunity to forget a little the married guy... So I wrote him and tell him he could call me or see me if he wants. I'm waiting for his email, if he writes me.

    I really find it's strange that he wrote me and asked me about my heart and told me that that specific day will be visiting my city. I noticed that he's the kind of jw that isn't so strict, more natural. All his family is jw, so maybe that is a pressure for him to be one of them... I don't know.

    What do you recomend me?

    I gonna tell you what happen :)


  • Stephanus

    There's lots of advice available, but it's all basically hollow - you're feeling lonely and on the rebound, so this is a opportunity to feel wanted and attractive again. I don't think it's an ideal situation, but I don't see any harm in meeting for a coffee or dinner. However, should anything come of it, there'll probably be pressure for you to rejoin the Org. I just see it as a matter of weighing up the pros and cons rather than there being an absolute right or wrong here (except for going for a married man - the lover always loses in that situation!).

  • SixofNine

    hmmm??? You write as if you are not from these parts. Let me guess where you're from... Arkansas?

  • Ardilla

    I'm from Chile, where u from?

  • Beck_Melbourne

    Stephanus: good points!

  • LuckyLucy

    Cousin???Is he a blood relative??

  • SpiderMonkey

    I think that Stephanus is right... If you get involved with this guy, there will be pressure to become a Jehovah's Witness again. If that is what you want, then go ahead... But if that's not what you want, make sure you understand *exactly* what this guy wants. Ask him if he will feel the same way about you if you never return to the Witnesses. I think his response to that question will help you make your decision.

  • Ardilla

    No Lucky Lucy, he isn't my cousin. I really wanted to say nephew, instead of cousin. This guy has an aunt, a women who is JW and told him (her nephew) everything about me. Sorry of the mistake. :)

  • Incense_and_Peppermints

    this guy's playing games with you... walk away before you get hurt. game-players are the scourge of humanity. they will take what they can from you and leave you messed up and they won't even listen to your cries as they step over your crumpled, bleeding body (figuratively speaking, of course)

  • LuckyLucy

    Thanks for clarifing.

    I believe that it might be more wise to converse with him for at least 6 more months before meeting him in person.That way you can get to know him better.

    I met this guy on the internet once and I thought he was the nicest guy i ever met...when he asked me for my phone number , I very nicely told him I was'nt comfortable giveing it to him yet.He totaly blew up and started calling me names...he really scared me.

    I get the feeling (correct me if im wrong)you are very lonely at this time in your life.I know how it feels.. it sucks.

    I would have eliminated alot of pain in my life if i had just waited to get to know people better(I have a bad habit of jumping into the water too soon)
    Please e-mail me if you need to talk..im a great listener.
    Take Care.

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