Since you have been made aware of all the wrongness of Watchtower, do you feel happier,more bitter or more apathetic?
HAPPINESS----Do You NOW Have It???
by minimus 12 Replies latest jw friends
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Gopher
None of the above. The corruption in their organization saddens me, there are still some people inside there that I had counted as my friends. And who can be happy about the abuse of innocent children?
I feel responsible to stay clear of it now, and to help others by pointing it out when possible.
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bigboi
When I first found out the truth about "the Truth", I have to admit that I felt very relieved. Not because I was afraid I might die at Armageddon, I was never really afraid of that. It had more to do with self -doubt and the fact that I could never find a balance between my responsibiliies as a witness and the things I had to do to survive in the world. I was one of those with a hyper-sensitive conscience that found something wrong with everything. I hardly voiced my feelings around others, because I didn't think it was my place to tell anyone what to do with their lives, but it had a crippling effect on me and my abilities in all aspects of life. It was a inner struggle that just wore me down after 7 yrs of living that lifestyle. Trust me, when I found out what we all know now, it was a wieght off my shoulders and I'm much happier now.
ONE....
bigboi
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sunshineToo
Happier, bitter, and sad.
Happier because now I'm out of it.
Bitter because now I realized that I was deceived and many are still supporting self-righteous unrepentant the WTS.
Sad because I'm bitter.
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Sentinel
Yes, I have lots of happiness.
I never had any idea what real inner happiness could mean for me. It's changed my life.
For so very long--for nearly eighteen years after I walked away, I still held some doubt and fears, and lots of guilt. I was drifting through my life here, just basically existing. There was still a piece of my heart and mind that thought "perhaps they were right", and I was a person with a bad heart, uable to accept the truth and so I would die a horrible death.
In the depths of my being, I just could not accept that. I was tired of being sad, lonely, depressed, and feeling unworthy and unacceptable. (Being a good person was never good enough for "them".)
Thank goodness I continued to try to figure out things, to search and determine for myself all the lies and deception. It has only been within the past year that I have come to realize for a certainty that they are wrong, and spiritually corrupt. I had to go back to the very beginning, and re-create the basis for my perceptions as far as teachings and doctrines and compare them with actual facts and common sense. It took lots of study. Maybe that's why I haven't gotten into any really deep discussions on here so far. Been there, done that. What a trip.
On the surface the JW's "fairytale come true" concept is so appealing, but underneath it is rotten to the core.
"Don't worry, be happy"
Sentinel
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rekless
if I had a job I would be the happiest S O B on this board.
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bay64me
I'm a bit like Sunshine, although maby not bitter. Sad might be a better description of how I feel, sad over the wasted time and over the things that I've lost. Maby I'm becoming better adjusted, (or maby it's the tablets!) But anyway that negative emotion is mixed with a good deal of relief. Oh and yes I get a great deal of pleasure from doing things now that I wasn't allowed to do before and I love music!
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DazedAndConfused
I have to admit that leaving the Borg is bittersweet. For the most part...I AM SOOOOO GLAD IT IS BEHIND ME...on the other hand...I cannot say that it is something that I would say I wouldn't have wanted to happen to me. I have been sexually abused as a 4 year old...I have been married to a man who beat me on a regular basis and tried to kill me on many occasions. I say that I am not sad that any one of these things happened to me. You know why? Because I believe it is the sum total of our experiences in the past that makes us who we are today. Am I 100% happy with what I do at every moment?,,,, no, but I do know, that at this point in life, I am more prepared than ever to face the consequences of my actions.
While I was in the Borg I was so "sheltered", "pampered", "isolated"...etc. I would have never known how to grow from my experiences. Now I am open to learn. I may not always be receptive, but I am more willing to learn. While being "controlled" I never had that option before.
As for "Happiness--Do you have it now???" I would have to say that more than ever before in my life...I am happy. Sure there are problems that life itself throws at you but it depends upon how you deal with them individually that makes the person who you are.
Edited for spelling and sentance structure.
Edited by - DazedAndConfused on 4 August 2002 6:25:52
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ISP
I am happy that I am not duped. I can create my own dreams....if I want. The WTS doesn't have the monopoly!
ISP
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Amazing
I am far happier ... my only regret is that I was a JW for so long ... but, I am happy for the last ten years of freedom.