Talented Hamster

by Vanderhoven7 3 Replies latest social humour

  • Vanderhoven7
    Talented Hamster

    A mangy looking guy who goes into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says: "No way. I don't think you can pay for it.

    The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

    The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque."

    "Deal!" says the guy and reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, down the bar, across the room, up the piano, jumps on the keyboard and starts playing Gershwin songs. And the hamster is really good.

    The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano." The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

    "Money or another miracle else no drink," says the bartender. The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer. A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

    The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar. The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must have been worth millions. You must be crazy."

    "Not so," says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."

  • Vanderhoven7

    I got this email from a JW today.

    Re: Bloodless Surgery

    Witness Patients Often Do Better

    AUSTRALIA: “Hospital patients who are Jehovah’s Witnesses—who refuse blood transfusions on religious grounds—actually do better than other patients,” reports the October 2, 2012, issue of The Sydney Morning Herald.

    Doctor Isbister’s views are by no means unique. Regarding Witness patients who have cardiac surgery, the Archives of Internal Medicine, August 13-27, 2012, says: “Witnesses had fewer acute complications and shorter length of stay than matched patients who received transfusions.”


    My response:

    <<Witness Patients Often Do Better>>

    except when they die from lack of blood. Reminds me of a story.

    A doctor accidentally cuts off both feet of the wrong patient. In the morning as the patient wakes up, the doctor tells the patient that he has good news and bad news for him and asks which he would rather hear first. The patient asks for the bad news first.

    Well the doctor says; "Sorry to say it, but we accidentally cut off both your feet." "Oh no", recoils the patient, "whats the good news?" "The good news is that the guy down the hall wants to buy your slippers."

    Bloodless surgery often better, but only on the minor stuff, not massive bleedouts.


  • cappytan
    Lol at that hamster.
  • jhine

    I've been told that by a Witness who refused blood after childbirth and she said that she did better than other women who had blood and left hospital sooner .


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