Best Left Unsaid

by WildTurkey 3 Replies latest social humour

  • WildTurkey

    Store employees put up with a lot of shit. When jerks come into their store treating them like crap, there is a lot that goes through an employees mind they just can't just say without loosing their jobs...

    You are obviously smarter than me, so if YOU can't figure it out, what the hell makes you think I can?

    No, sir, I'm not hard-of-hearing, neither am I stupid. You just don't speak good English.

    Do you notice that your bad behaviour is embarrassing your wife?

    Do you want me to go ahead and call the manager, or do you want me to wait till you're REALLY pissed off?

    I can tell you right now I'm not going to give you very good service, because I think you're drunk or possibly on drugs, and frankly, you scare the hell out of me.

    No, sir, I can't do math in my head, but I can spell diarrhea.

    I realize I'm ignoring you, but you're in here every three days with your bratty kid and you never buy anything you don't return.

    Shame on you for using such language in front of your children.

    You've been waiting 30 minutes? Why didn't you use the time to find it yourself?

    If I were as smart as you THINK I should be, I'd be making a lot more money than I am now.

    Don't complain about the fucking line up and then fumble through your purse for 5 minutes when you finally have your order taken.

    Ahhhh thanks for that tip chief...maybe I can make a fucking phone call now!

    No, really, I want you to call me every day to ask what time we close when we are open 24 hours a day.

    Please bring in your fucking dirty cans and bottles that are filled with cigarette butts, piss, cockroaches, ants.... And yes, you do have to put your nasty shit on a box, because ill be dammed if I touch that.

    Oh yes, please let me search out that item that we haven't had for eight years and then bitch to me for a half hour about how we had it yesterday. We didn't...asshole!

    Should I hand you the fries or shove them up your fat ass?

    So you want a combo, but you want onion rings instead of fries, a stake instead of a burger, and you want a can of pop instead of fountain pop.....WELL IT AIN'T A FUCKING COMBO NO MORE!!!

    Well now that you've ordered your large popcorn with extra butter and 2 large chocolate bars, I'm sure that the large DIET coke will really do you some good and cancel out the 10,000 calories you are about to eat while you sit on your ass and do sweet fuck all nothing for the next two hours.

    You're an idiot. So are your kids.

    You know I am off work and yet you insist on motioning to me... Well for some reason I have gone blind and can't see you. Dink!

    Maybe you should buy a full length mirror before buying all that junk food.

    What the fuck are you standing around staring at the menu for, jackass?!?!? We've had the same goddamn menu for 25 years. Get the fucking quarter pounder!

    Don't complain about the fucking line up if you have had the past 15 minutes to get your money ready and your only now fumbling through your bottomless purse for money. Get organized you old, useless, inconsiderate, ungrateful, sack of shit.

    We're closed dumb fuck, that's why I didn't take your order when you pulled through my drive thru!

    No I won't make your sandwich without pickles, you can eat what the rest of fucking America likes!

    Will you get out of my store so that I may clean up your fucking mess, so that I can go home?

    I don't mind helping you Sir/Madame, but please go home and take a BATH!!!

    OK dumbass, it was a choice of paper OR plastic. Not a combination thereof, just paper or friggin' plastic. Do you honestly think I care about the arse of your bags ripping?

    No you moron, I don't work here! I'm only here because I like to wear this name tag, sweep floors and hang around 10 to 12 hours a day for the fun of it!

    You don't like the new layout of the store? OK, well fuck off to another supermarket. I don't give a shit.

    The food will never look like it does in the pictures. The food in the picture was plastic.

  • bigfloppydog

    I can sooo relate to this, since I worked in retail for few years. Some people just make you stand their and shake your head, alot went through my mind with certain customers, but I always managed to put a smile on my face, and treat them with respect. When they left store, then I would curse under my breath.

  • kat7302

    dont forget tho...the customers ALWAYS right!

    bollox to that!

  • Scully

    About 10 years ago, I worked in a fabric retail store. Without fail, just a few minutes before the doors were about to close at the end of business, people of a "certain ethnic background" would slip in and spend the next 30-45 minutes checking out various fabrics to purchase. When we would remind them that the store was about to close, they'd say they were only going to be "a minute". The other customers would leave, and then they'd start trying to negotiate on price. There were no managers, just one supervisor (me), and I would tell them that I had no authority to negotiate price. Still they tried and tried and TRIED. Finally they'd have their fabric measured, and just before cutting, they'd want to know how much was left on each bolt they had picked. If it was 5 meters or less, they'd ask if they could have it for free. I would have to argue with them over THAT too.

    I once told one of these customers (who had already kept me well over half an hour beyond closing time) that "In Canada, we don't do things that way." The next day, the manager called me at home to tell me that this "gentleman" phoned to complain about my comment, saying it was "discrimination" and "racist". I told the manager: "What do you want me to do?? Steal from the store to make him happy??" I also reminded him that I was technically "off the clock" because management didn't pay us for time spent on the premises after store hours, while we balanced the till and locked up.

    You get ALL KINDS in retail. You get ALL KINDS in nursing too.

    Love, Scully

Share this