Oh Tish.......oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Tish.........
This is so, so, so common in that God foresaken Borganization we so totally bought as our lord and saviour. I resigned my "position" nearly 3 years ago, and what my wife went through with da so called "luvvin bruvva's" when I stopped going to da meetinz is a travesty of humanity.
When I read your post, it brought back so many memories of my wife's pleadings, tears, and her total despair at the way she was just left to her own devices cos da luvvin elda's told her that as an "appointed" man, it was my responsibility to get her and our 3 kids (7, 5, 2) to the 'spiritual banquet set before us @ da meetinz.
But nonetheless, in a way, I can only thank the Lord that her treatment by da luvvin bruvva's made her question the 'love' that we were always being reminded of.
My wife was raised in da dubbs (JayDubbleYou......dubbleYou....dubbs.......oh never mind!), all her family are still, allegedly in da trooof, though again, I can only thank the Lord that half of them are now starting to raise their own doubts. But it was a torture for her at first cos she's one of 8 sista's, and one bruvva, and overnight, even long before she herself got disinfranchised from da luvvin Bruvvahood, lost all contact with her nieces and nephews; our kid's cousins in other words. No longer did our kids hove cousins as we were now 'apostates' cos we started going on an Alpha course at a Christian Church.
I don't really wanna go on too long on here as I'd fill a couple of reams of paper with our saga, so, all I can say, is that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Not 'new light', but the 'real' light. No doubt we could compare notes on our experiences, especially my wife, so if you ever need to talk about what you've been through, she'd be more than happy to help. I don't know how long you were in the Borg, my wife was in it for nearly 33 years, and 10 for me, so we've come to really appreciate the love and support we've found throughout the UK of people who've been in similar situations.
For me, I could have easily been happy with them just leaving us alone, but no, after having been 'seen' going into a Church, the luvvin elda's decided to come round to 'conduct their enquiries' after nearly 2 years of not so much as even a 'hello, are you still alive?' from them. What a story that turned out to be I tellya, but in short, in ended up with our "disassociating ourselves" (we didn't, but thats what they announced anyway).
One thing's for sure, we've found out that the so called scum of the universe; 'the worldly people' that we were not supposed to 'associate' with, are not so scum after all, in fact, we've found that 'worldly' people are just that- worldly; real. Not sureal, from the planet Xargon somewhere in Delta Quadrant. Unfortunately, when you get mixed up in an elitist society like da dubbin network, you can easily get caught up in the 'holier than thou' mindset. I mean, I got to meet some really nasty pieces when dealing with some of the body of E's. I just got so knocked by their lies, deceit, kniving and sometimes, just downright evil minded. Some of them were so far up their chocolate starfish that it used to leave me feeling that there was no way that Jehovah's Holy Spirit appointed this set of frustrated Cardinals. I used to beg Jehovah to help me overcome my feelings of doubt, but the more I begged, the more I seemed to get more and more doubts and concerns come up into my mind.
Anyway, I'm getting myself into a frenzy here, so I'm gonna stop, and sorry if I've woffled on.
I pray that you will be helped. Not by the dubbs, cos that'll only be conditional. I mean real love and help from others that have been in similar situations; help on here, support groups, and no doubt even new friends that you will, you will, you will (3 times for emphasis, remember that?) meet.
So go on, Love your kids Tish. Love life Tish. Love God and start loving yourself again, cos I bet for so long, you too felt you were just not good enough, guilty and full of fear and despair for the future.
View this as the start to a whole new world. A whole new life. And a whole new wonderful opportunity for you and your kids to find new friends that will love you for you, and not for how many hours you're knocking on doors, or how many times you attend da luvvin meetinz, or ansa up, or what you're wearing and why you're wearing it, how you wear make up like you do and why you've done your hair like you did, or what colour highlighter pens you've used for your WT study, or which people you 'associate' with, or don't, and on and on and on......
Let people love you for being you Tish, you deserve it and so do your kids.
Tish, I wish you God's Love in your new journey.
Just remember this.......You cannot discover new oceans, unless you're prepared to lose sight of the shore. (Ain't that cute?)
Loadsa luv from da luvvinly luvved luvvin bruvva that was so luvvinly luvved by da luvvinly luvved luvvin bruvvahood of luvvinly luvved luvvin bruvva's.
NOT
Edited by - da_luvvin_bruvva on 24 July 2002 22:37:12
