For the record........Jesus Christ was right!

The Devil

You know I was very content to just sit back on my dark throne of fire and let everything fall into place but Jesus Christ had to come along and mess things up for me.

I saw his post about how the jehovahs witnesses are not affiliated with him and God and yes it is true they are right.

For the record the group known as jehovahs witnesses are under my command and do my bidding. As you well know they use fear to convert their members. HELLO...I invented fear and make no mistake that I am very happy with how they are progressing.

The only reason I even feel comfortable with letting you all in on this little secret is that I have them so well trained that my die-hard fans wont be allowed to even patrol this site beacuse of the fear I have installed on them.

Now a little favor---please let them continue my ever so pressing work because I want to win the bet I made with god...ok..and I'll reward all you you very well. but you gotta help me win.

Devastatingly Yours,

Lucifer

You Know

For the record the group known as jehovahs witnesses are under my command and do my bidding.

But since we all know that you are a lying murderer, why should we believe anything you say? / You Know

The Devil

You dont have to believe me--In fact if you dont it will help me even more with all the unsuspecting converts that I will get. So thank you for your doubt. it will help the "preaching work".

Lucifer

Crazy151drinker

But since we all know that you are a lying murderer, why should we believe anything you say? / You Know

But since we all know that you support lying pedophiles, why should we believe anything you say? / Crazy151drinker

The Devil

Dont be too hard on You Know, he is one of my biggest supporters. Shhhh--just dont tell him that.

Lucifer

FiveShadows

Mr. Satan Devil , I am an attorney from the IRS and am here to report to you that you've been audited due to the failure of filing taxes
for the last........(checks records) 3 billions years. You now owe us a sum number of (automated computer voice) eight....hunred and thirty-7...trillion dollars. Please report to your nearest Tax agency for collectin of funds. Thank you ~FS

The Devil

I never figured that the IRS would be this much trouble when I first created them. Oh well. Will you take souls instead, I have several really good JW's to give and they are worth even more to me than your average catholic soul. Shall we "make a deal"?

I have to go those demons of mine are causing trouble in the underworld and I really want my beauty sleep tonight. But be assured I will return. Just no more taxes ok.

Lucifer

expatbrit

*whips out his lawyer's outfit*

Aha, but my client, Mr Satan, clearly deals in the currency of sin, the wages of which are death. And, upon death, taxes become incumbent upon the estate of said deceased Satan, who, since it cannot be proven that he is in fact alive, must be given the benefit of the doubt and presumed dead. Therefore, all taxes are not owing by Satan, but by his descendants and beneficiaries, namely the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society of New York Inc., who have inherited enormous wealth from the proceeds of gullible people that believe in the, heretofore mentioned, deceased Satan. And all this effectively demonstrates that the only thing more evil than Satan is a lawyer.

I rest my case. Quid pro con maximus fermentarium.

Expatbrit

Windchaser

Hi, Satan, I see that your earthly headquarters are in Vatican City. Why not Brooklyn, NY?

D8TA

But since we all know that you are a lying murderer, why should we believe anything you say?

But since we all know that the JWs and WTBTS have been lying about; the pedophilia issue, God's name, false teachings, failed prophecies, articles condoning lying, 1975, you PERSONALLY making wagers and not honoring them, and condoning of the murder of JW children with it false blood doctrine, why should we believe anything you say?

D8TA

For the record........Jesus Christ was right!

Share this