Invent some problems for JW's

by sleepy 18 Replies latest jw friends

  • SYN
    SYN

    ROFLMFAO!! "Grip meter" ehehehe!

  • ISP
    ISP

    You mean they need more!

    ISP

  • Francois
    Francois

    Farkel, I have an even tougher question/observation.

    Since the female vigina is a stretchy organ, like up to about 10", and most guys aren't but about 6" on a good day, that means that there is 4 unused inches per female type person. Now, since there are something like 120 million adult women in this country, I figure that means there is on the order of 7,575 MILES of unused vigina just in the United States alone. And I want my share of it, don't you? I mean, it's going to waste, right? And God hates a wasteful person. Says so at 1Hezihiah 7:15. Do you think we could avail ourselves of some of this excess and at the same time be displaying conduct becoming a Christian? I think so. What do you think about this hot, um, contentious issue? How would you approach it?

    Francois
    Of the Waste Not, Want Not Class

    P.S.

    I recently had occasion to 'splain to a female type person of my acquaintance the following:

    Tits = Will not hold even ONE measly pencil under there.
    Boobs = Will hold at least one, and often up to four or five pencils, under there.
    Knockers = Will hold at least a dozen pencils under there.
    Earth Mother = Will hold a CASE of pencils under there.
    Golden Winnebagoes = Will hold a CASE of pencils under there, a Boston classroom type pencil sharpener and still have plenty of room to sharpen all of 'em.

    Try and remember this handy chart.

    Edited by - Francois on 20 July 2002 18:54:36

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    What about, a guy keeps going for booster jabs which as we know are cultured in blood. After how many would he get disfellowshipped for taking blood?

  • Englishman
    Englishman

    Since the female vigina is a stretchy organ, like up to about 10",

    Hmm, well, nothin' could be finer than to ener a vagina in the M-O-R-N-I-N-!

    Englishman.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints

    Lets invent some problem for JW's to see how far you can take their rules. 1.Siamese twins get baptised.One now get disfellowshipped for apostacy.The witness one ,get counceled by the elders for mixing with apostates.Eventualy gets disfellowshipped for too much assosiation with apostate other half. 2.Man has sex change, but then becomes witness.Is he a brother or a sister? .Chimpanzee gets taught english and wants bible study , can he now get baptised?

    god... can you imagine conjoined twins, if one was a satanist and one was a witness? ooh what a pickle.

    ok seriously.... if one half of a conjoined twin gets disfellowshipped and is an apostate, would they even allow them into the kingdom hall? i guess they could sit by the back door, with the "good half" inside and the "evil half" outside. unless it's raining, of course.

    i doubt that they would consider the transexual as a female, even if he were living as a woman. if they knew about it, i doubt they would even allow him into the kingdom hall.

    since a chimp, no matter how intelligent and cultured, is still a member of the animal kingdom and therefore under man's (adam initially) domain, he couldn't even get a ticket to watch the show.

    those are good questions! i had never even pondered such things before. this is one of the most interesting posts i've read in a while. thank you.

  • minimus
    minimus

    #2 has already been dealt with. Whatever gender you were born with, per the Society, is what you are.....but what if you were a hermaphraodite?

  • plmkrzy
    plmkrzy
    1.Siamese twins get baptised.One now get disfellowshipped for apostacy.The witness one ,get counceled by the elders for mixing with apostates.Eventualy gets disfellowshipped for too much assosiation with apostate other half.

    That might not even get a chance to even be baptized they might be viewed as demonized.

    what if one was having premarital sex and the other was not?

    One would have to stand out side the door's of the KH while the other stood inside the door's.

    How would they be called upon during the watchtower study?

    which hand would be ignored?

    What if one got baptized and the other had "Turrets syndrome"?

    would they be allowed to go out in fielf service? Or participate in the MS

    "Good morning, we're calling on you and your neighbors today bringing a message (other twin with turrets begins shouting out "F88K You you A*sh**e Mot***F***er.....") Other twin proceeds to go on "as I as saying, What would you think of a world without crime...." (other twin say's..F**kYou Kiss my A**.)

    Edited by - plmkrzy on 21 July 2002 0:1:33

  • Prisca
    Prisca
    2.Man has sex change, but then becomes witness.Is he a brother or a sister?

    I remember reading this in a WT some time ago.

    The official WT line is: Because he still has male genes (which can't be changed, despite how many hormones you take), he would be considered a brother, and would be expected to dress and act like a man.

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