Things You Would NEVER Hear A Redneck Say

Dutchie

I`ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

Duct tape won`t fix that.

Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.

Come to think of it, I`ll have a Heineken.

We don`t keep firearms in this house.

Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?

You can`t feed that to the dog.

No kids in the back of the pick-up; it`s not safe.

Wrasslin`s fake.

Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

We`re vegetarians.

Do you think my hair is too big?

I`ll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.

Honey, do these Bonsai trees need watering?

Who`s Richard Petty?

Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

Deer heads detract from the decor.

Spitting is such a nasty habit.

I just couldn`t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

Trim the fat off that steak.

Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

The tires on that truck are too big.

I`ve got it all on a floppy disk.

Unsweetened tea tastes better.

Would you like your fish poached or broiled?

I`ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.

Checkmate.

She`s too old to be wearing a bikini.

Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

Hey, here`s an episode of `Hee Haw` that we haven`t
seen.

I don`t have a favorite college team.

Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

I believe you cooked those green beans too long.

Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.

SpiceItUp

And the LAST thing you will ever hear a redneck say.......

HEY! Billy-BOB watch this!!!!!

LMAO

Spice

TR

Please pass the Grey Poupon.

Time for our 6 month dentist appointment.

When's the new Snoop Dog CD coming out?

Time to take the old couch on the porch to the dump

TR

DakotaRed

LOL, Dutchie, you know us rednecks purtty well.

I think another one would be, "I hope Jeff Gordon wins today."

Lew W

COMF

A four wheel drive...? Why would I need that?

The reason gangs are running amok in the cities is, the gun control laws are too lax.

Merle Haggard sucks. Have you seen my Boston Philharmonic CD anywhere?

I wouldn't own anything with an engine bigger than a 283. They're just gas hogs.

Some of the guys are coming over to play Spades tonight, hon. Do we have plenty of lemonade?

They live in a trailer park? Eewww...

LyinEyes

CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am a Redneck girl!!!!!

Oh my gawd,,,,,, don't even get me started on the wonders of Duct Tape. I get too emotional on that one.