Also as an elder, I felt very badly for a few actions that I was part of in the Benicia, CA congregation.
There was an elderly sister who professed to be of the annointed. She was very active, always at all of the meetings, always out in field service, always did her parts in the TM school. Somewhere in the 80's The Society in its "infinite stupidity" put out an article about who should/should not partake at the Memorial. Of course, the article was published just before the annual Memorial.
We had one self-righteous elder who happend to be PO. Unfortunately, he also held a great deal of influence. He basically was unstoppable. He had me and another elder meet with him and the sister. In his usual way, he made the sister feel that she shouldn't partake, even though he didn't come right out and say it. But, it was completely clear to the sister and both of us other elders what the message was. His whole line was that the sister had come into "The Truth" recently --- I believe it was in the 70s [which was prior to my coming to the congregation] and therefore couldn't have been of the annointed. As if he "knew her heart". The sister was an avid reader of the magazines and surely knew what had been written. His heavy handedness was not required in my opinion. To me, it was a matter that should've been "left in Jehovah's hands".
This dear, sweet sister who also took care of an adult mentally ill son, and [I believe] delivered papers with her husband to make ends meet, was visibly devestated. She didn't partake at the Memorial. However, her joy and involvement quickly waned. She still would come to meetings from time to time, but wasn't the same person from that point on.
This same asshole elder on another occasion took to account a sister in the Congregation Book Study that I conducted. She had been involved in some gossip. Another sister who had been the target of the gossip obviously complained to him. I talked with the sister after one of our bookstudies, along with her husband, a Ministerial Servant. I went over with her what had happened as a result of the gossip, along with all the usual biblical stuff. She was obviously deeply touched. I honestly believe she was well on the road to recovery. I told him what I had done. I thought that would be the end of the matter.
THEN ... the same self-righteous elder couldn't let things lie. Like someone fascinated by picking at a wound, he had to bring the matter up in a meeting at the Kingdom Hall with many other brothers and sisters supposedly involved or having been exposed to the gossip. There had to be betweeon 10 and 20 present from my recollection. I could be wrong about the number, but I know that it was a sizeable number as we had to use the Kingdom Hall to hold everyone. He went through the same stuff all over again. He wasn't targeting the others involved, instead focusing his attack on the poor sister.
Again, the end result was a devestated sister whe quickly lost interest in the meetings and field service. Her husband let me know how deeply she had been hurt, but understood it wasn't my doing.
Gosh, how things come to mind. Another example was when he went after another elder who also happened to be elderly and not very well healthwise. He went on his usual self-righteous approach saying that the elder was not doing enough. This other elder was so sweet, along with his lovely wife. I believe it was the same night or shortly thereafter that the sweet elder had a heart attack and died. He of course had health issues to start with. However, there is very little doubt in my mind that the elder who came after him was a contributing factor to his having the heart attack. His wife without directly telling me so basically felt the same way. She despised the elder from that day forward.
This self-righteous elder was the same one who had a very sick wife who was often at the meetings in a wheelchair, always with the most lovely of smiles and dispositions. People in the Congregation would just flock to her whenever she was there. She was such a true joy to be around. Another sister was around their house all the time. She was helping take care of his wife. That well could be. But, it didn't sit well with many in the Congregation when almost immediately upon his wife's death the two of them got married. OK, so maybe I'm gossiping now. But, what the Hell, what can they do to me!!!