Embarrassed

by WildTurkey 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  ring

  damn, i should have known someone would come by and spell 'marklar' correctly
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  Sentinel

  Oh, those memories, they never really go away altogether, do they? We had been bitten by the JW bug, and being young people, were at the mercy of other grown-ups.

  I remember having to go in service on the cold, snowy, icy days, and NOT being able to wear pants because it would not be suitable attire for a female. We would be "dropped off" at a corner and told to just start "here", and that someone would be working to meet us from the other end. Many times, we would keep going, freezing our buns off, and then "see" that the others in our group had gone to find the car to get warm--these were adults!

  And sometimes I remember, finishing the whole block and waiting and waiting until an adult reappeared. We would "wonder" where they went.

  The worry and stress that came with trying to meet the goals for a "good little witness" of getting the right number of monthly hours/mags/books/backcalls/sudies, etc. And being on the Ministry School, and always, yes always, "setting a good example" for the younger students.

  Trying to get to every single meeting, even though we were poor, lived in the country, and had no transportation. For many years we were at the mercy of whomever provided the transportation as to when we would "finally" get home. Some took no note that we were shool kids who had to get up at five thirty to meet the bus--and not to mention, that we had homework to do and tests to study for--they would lag behind "associating" until nearly every last person had departed the Hall.

  The two hour Thursday night meeting was the worse. Sometimes we didn't get home until eleven. I'd have to do my homework under the covers with a flashlight. I was always told by my mother that I should be more "appreciative". Those school years were very stressful. The homework was so burdensome, in all my classes--every night. The thought then was to get through school with a good education, so you could be self-sufficient and be able to pioneer. JW's didn't even consider going to college.

  For many years, and all through high school, I was THE only female JW in our school. There was one other male, and then a bit later, when the black students were integrated into the white schools, a dear friend of mine was able to attend through graduation. It was like we were "from another planet". This was in a graduation class of just shy of 500 students.

  One particular class of English was taught by the wife of a local Church Minister. I always thought she hated me for being a JW. She made my life miserable, and would give me no higher than a D on some of my best compositions and essays, with some nonsense explanation. The final semester of tenth grade she gave me a C. English had always been one of my best subjects. I was so glad to pass on to the next year, although during that time, it was her grade only that kept me off the honor roll. I dreaded her class.

  Thank you for the post. I'm so glad I don't have to live like that anymore. I'm sure the students since then have had their own horrors to get through. Things have changed, but it's still very difficult when you are a young person and "have to be so different" from everyone else.

  Karen

  Edited by - Sentinel on 14 July 2002 17:34:15
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  simplesally

  We were told they didn't call it "Bulletin board" because on a bulletin board, information was allowed to be posted by anyone and things removed by anyone. Our halls always called it the Information Board because only the elders deemed what was necessary/important enough to be on it....

  Was I embarrassed, yes......when someone sneezed and I couldn't say, "bless you" and when we had to scurry out before the national anthem at a sports event. Embarrassed? Yes, when I didn't go to my high school reunion because there would only be worldly people there. Embarrassed? Yes, when I backed out of my only sister's wedding 2 months beforehand because I didn't know it wasn't kosher for JW's to not be in the ceremony of my Catholic sister.
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  Flip

  when I think back about when I was a dub, I get a little embarrassed.

  You think you're embarrassed for falling for the self-professed authority of the WTBTS! Other than her marketing prowess, I was under the impression Madonna had talent!

  Flip
• 

  rmayer32

  They should just be calling it the Bullshit board I think

  -Rick
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  mommy1

  When I was 16 I had a huge crush on an older "brother" who was around 26. I would say hi to him at the meetings and smile at him. He was friendly but he knew I was just a kid so he didn't push things. Well my Dad saw that I liked this guy and told him if he wanted he could date me and he would be happy if he would be his son-in-law! I could have died. I didn't want to marry the guy, I knew he was too old for me, I just thought he was cute. Poor guy could never talk to me again.
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  Xena

  growing up JW is a very special kind of hell, and I can't think what could possibly have decayed in a human mind to the point where a parent wishes this life on a child and then doesn't understand when they leave it.

  It just boggles me. Such complete brainwashing is a horrific thing to see first hand.

  You really have to wonder don't you?

  aahhhhh ya'll are bring back the memories...

  the joy (NOT) of doing street work in front of the Waterpark in Orlando, Fl.

  knocking on people's doors on Christmas morning and wondering why they weren't thrilled to see me.....lol oh wait it must be because they are GOATS!

  working with the overseer's wife...and breaking out in a cold sweat when you accidentally say "Darn it" or "Fudge"....

  fabricating hours so you don't feel like you are being judged adversely

  pretending like you actually enjoyed the talks....."I was so inspired by Brother Long-Winded Doesn't He Know It Is Only A Hour's Talk"

  trying to convence a bible study that this REALLY was the best way to live

  telling people you didn't mind not getting a Valentine when inside you are crying

  ok I will stop now...time to think of GOOD things
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  safe4kids

  Xena,

  the joy (NOT) of doing street work in front of the Waterpark in Orlando, Fl.

  You ACTUALLY had to do street work in front of a water park???!!!! Ohhhhhhh, that's not right! Holy cow, talk about cruel and unusual punishment! What an awful thing to do to a kid...having to stand outside peddling magazines, while listening to the yells and screams and laughter coming from inside the park. C'mere Xena honey, and let me give you a hug...at least my mom never did THAT to me!

  Dana
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  Sirona

  One of my most embarrassing moments was being in a room full of people (our house) on New Years Eve and everyone wishing me "happy new year" and I couldn't reply! Argh. My stepdad is not JW and had held a party you see and I didn't think until 12pm came around. I was only 15.

  At that age I used to wear clothes fit for a 50 year old and I was constantly being teased for it at school. I hate seeing pics of me then...

  Sirona
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  Room 215

  Hi Wild Turkey,

  You sure got the ball rolling with this thread! A glance at it causes one to wonder about why indigence/subsistence living/poverty is such a frequent occurrence among JWs. One reason, no doubt is that the witness culture actually makes a virtue out of financial irresponsibilty and underachievment.

  At this stage of my experience, nothing should surprise me anymore; still, I was astonished that in the September 2001 Kingdom Ministry, the Brooklyn boneheads dissed anyone who strove to set aside ``rainy day'' funds, making it sound spiritually meritorious to live from paycheck to paycheck!