I'm Finally Awake Now..

Sentinel

Friends,

I got up this morning and decided not to go right into work. I needed some time for myself before I began the routine of everyday living. I've been meditating a bit, and realized that my whole perspective for life has changed. It certainly didn't happen overnight, but gradually, and more intensely in the past six months.

In so many ways, it seemed like when I finally came up out of the mire of guilt, unhappiness and indecision, that a great weight slid off me, and I began to see everything differently. Everything changed and nothing changed at all. Friends at work noticed. Family noticed.

I mean, I think it was something that actually showed in my speech, the way I walk, the way the smile comes so easily. But, I hadn't really noticed it. I felt somewhat different at first, but couldn't actually put a stamp on it, as to when it occured.

Then, BAM, I had my epiphany. That was something totally unexpected. It felt like my whole DNA was being changed. When I least expected it, it came and turned me inside out. I didn't have to do anything. It just happened. Now I see everything with such joy and beauty. There is a comforting peace and acceptance. I've come out of the blurry fog that had me trapped for so long. Even when I thought I was free, I really wasn't.

It feels so good to let go. To accept. To love. To be at peace with all. It's an acceptance. So difficult to explain. No, I haven't been "born again" as some have suggested. This has nothing to do with religion. But, in many ways, I do feel like a whole new chapter of my life is opening up--and that there is no end to it.

Have any of you gone through something like this? I'd like to hear from you.

I kind of expected it to go away, but, it hasn't. I think it's here to stay, and it's wonderful beyond description. It's enlightenment. It's knowledge with the wisdom to understand.

I am thankful every day!

Love and LIght,

Karen/Sentinel

SpiceItUp

((((((Karen))))))

I wish the day when I can say that this is happening to me. I know it will come and until then just know that your words have inspired me. I always love reading your posts as you are always filled with kindness, compassion and love and this one is no exception.

May your days be ever brighter as they come.

Carol/Spice

DINKY

I've also been feeling the joy of a spiritual awakening lately. It's a beautiful place! For me, I think it's the serenity of surrender. I've learned how to turn things over to the universe, to give up my illusions of control, to quit fighting the negative energy around me. And you know what's cool? Life plays itself beautifully when I'm not "in there" fucking things up. Today is truly a gift - that's why it's called the present (hardy har).

Namaste

Dinky

TweetieBird

I, too have had those feelings lately. I just read a book that totally changed my life. For any of you that are interested, it is entitled, "10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace" by Dr. Wayne Dyer. While I don't agree with everything he says (I also just finished some audio tapes that he puts out) I do believe that the information he provided has made a huge impact on the way I view life, God, and everything around me.

Sentinel

Carol,

Thank you for your very kind words. It really does my heart good to know that I can give something back, that I can encourage and help in some smalll way, in this Forum.

I looked at your profile again, and your words about "just ask and you shall receive" are so true. Our creators are just waiting for us to really open up and say how we feel. They want to help us. But, so many times we make it so difficult, simply because we think the answer should be only one way (our way). The results are hardly ever in the way we think they should be, but in so many instances, I see the results in ways I could never have imagined. We know so little, but we are never alone. I have come to understand that and finally let go.

I always tried to be the "fixer". I felt like I had to do things that made people happy. I always put myself at the bottom of the list. And, guess what? People weren't happy and I was still at the bottom of the list, being trampled on and ignored. When I let go, and stopped trying to fix things, control situations, something changed. Well, everything began to change for the better. I could finally relax.

Now it feels so very comfortable to just speak outloud, or in silence, whenever I want, to honestly open my heart and just say what my concerns are, whether it be health, family, job, whatever. Then, I just wait. I don't ask for specific things. And, it seems to work, and the communication does not seem to be one way--like when I used to pray. And, one does not have to sit a certain way, stand a certain way, have a cover on their head, etc., etc. One does not have to pray at every meal, or before this or that. One does not have to go to a certain building. All of that seems so artificial to me.

These creators are our universal parents. They love us unconditionally. They want to assist us as our inner soul finds it's way and unites with our physical being to discover our life's purpose. They are our great mother/father, and we can have a real relationship with them all the time. That has really brought me such great comfort.

Love and Light My Friend,

Karen/Sentinel

Unclepenn1

No, I haven't been "born again" as some have suggested. This has nothing to do with religion.

**he he** Like being born again has *anything* to do with religion.

Penn

Sentinel

Ahhhhh, yes, Dinky, the word, as you said, is SURRENDER.

It's like walking in the rain without an umbrella....,isn't it? It feels so good!

I'm very happy you posted, and it's always good to hear happy news. I wish you success in your journey towards enlightenment. It is a wonderful road to be on.

I screwed up so much in my life by always trying so hard to do the right thing. It sounds so rediculous, but my life read like a soap opera, and I was the main charachter. (I'm glad that show was cancelled.)

"The Truth Is Out There"

Karen/Sentinel

Sentinel

Thanks Penn,

If I could just bottle up all this inner peace and joy and give it to everyone here, to you and all my new friends, that would be the most wonderful gift I could give.

If I could just simply tell you how to get this feeling, I would. If I could refer you to any one place, or person, or book, I would. But, the fact remains: It's a very personal journey. I'm not exactly certain how I got here myself, except by sheer determination and willpower.

Someone very close to me recently said they don't understand why I'm always reading, why I'm inquisitive, why I'm always searching for answers. That all this theory and supposition about the universe, our purpose here, etc., won't make a difference because we have no control over our destiny. They feel this way, because they are "sitting still". They have stopped growing. They have no spirituality. They have given up. Life has dealt them so much unhappiness and unfairness, that they have a defeatist attitude. I am so sad for them.

If I could say just one helpful thing, it would be to never stop learning--never stop asking--never stop growing.

"The Truth Is Out There"

Karen/Sentinel

Sentinel

Tweetiebird,

I concur with you about Mr. Dyer. I have several of his publications. In my attempts to discover myself and to figure out this complexity of living, I was getting help from many sources. He has just an excellent view of how to heal yourself. Takes lots of hard work. But, it can be done.

We are in the age of technology. We have the resources of a few computer key strokes to let us see what is out there, so we can search for ourselves--find our own answers. Make the necessary changes in our life. Correct some mistakes. Adjust to living with the mistakes we've already made.

It's a painful process, that of self-anaylsis. But, it's well worth the investment.

Thanks for your post.

Karen/Sentinel

SpiderMonkey

TweetieBird & Sentinel, y'all might be interested to know that there's a copy of Dyers' "Erroneous Zones" in the Bethel Library! In fact, I'd credit that book, to a large degree, w/ helping me gtf out of the borg. How's that for irony?

I'm Finally Awake Now..

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