Now that I'm out of the borg and realizing that I've never dated, I think it's in the near future for me. So I was thinking about my age of 30 and never being on a date. But even worse, I was thinking of those of you who dated while in the borg and had to deal with an audience - actually I had to laugh when thinking about the absurdity of the scenario. Anyone have any funny chaperone experiences? Do tell, please.
Were you chaperoned?
by writerpen 30 Replies latest jw friends
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scootergirl
Mine isn't "ha-ha" funny.....more like pathetic.....
When my finance and I went to pick out rings.....YUP, you guessed it, we had a chaperone. She actually came right inside of the jewelers! You would have thought she could have stayed out of the store, but she followed us in like a little puppy dog. Who knows what we might have done of the glass countertops! LOL.......how pathetic!
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teenyuck
Well, I did not go on a date until I left and was in college, so no chaperone for me.
However, my sister experienced it. I was the chaperone. I was 12 when she started dating at 15 and my mother made me go with her and any boy....they always had the car.
My sister actually brought this up recently.....28 years later!! She accused me of wanting to go on her dates. I hated sitting in the back seat, being told to duck when they drove by someone we knew. It was awful. The most insane part of it was that both mothers (sis's and her boyfriends) thought I could be a chaperone at age 12!
Sis is still angry about this. She verbalized some really awful things on being chaperoned by me. I interfered with her true feelings with some of these boys! It was all my fault that she had to have a 12 year old go along with. She does not understand I had no choice. My mother made me go....I would much rather have stayed home and read a book.
Wow, this brought back memories....
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dmouse
Being a bit older than average for JWs when we got married (mid twenties) we were given quite a bit of slack. And I'm pleased, I don't know if that's the right word, to say we didn't abuse that trust; we were both virgins when we married!
However, there were some rumours spread about us because we met and married fairly quickly - six months start to finish.
One sister went up to my fiance at the hall and told her 'you know, you don't have to get married, if you've made a mistake'!
Once, when we were out for a drive in the country we got lost, and I tried to turn the car round in a tight country lane. Needless to say we got stuck in a ditch and had to wait hours for a passing car to come by so we could get help. The fact that we were out alone AND down a dark country lane raised some eyebrows among the bros and sisters I can tell you!
I think again it depends on the country and congregation. Some are harsher than others, and Americans tend to be more fanatical about such things than us Brits. But I can't imagine that I would have tolerated much interference even then, when I was a drone; couples who are going to marry NEED time alone to discuss private matters at least.
This chaperone lark is stupid, if we had wanted to have sex we would have found a way. The fact that we were treated like adults ensured that we made the 'right' decision because it was what we wanted to do, not forced to do.
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mrs rocky2
Ah - the whirlwhind romance, complete with chaperone. Rocky and I were allowed our first date without a chaperone. Pizza and a movie in the big city an hour away. That was the last time we were ever allowed to be alone, other than the evening he proposed to me. Not that anything happened on that first date. Maybe it's because Rocky's mom was more trusting of him than my parents were of me, and we were on his turf.
I remember going to see Superman (this dates me, the one with Christopher Reeves). Every time the screen got bright my brother, who was sitting about 4 people to the left of us (we went in a big group), would lean forward and look down the row to make sure hands were where they were supposed to be.
My family didn't want us to sit on the sofa together. We couldn't look at each other, let alone hold hands. So maybe that's why we had our first date in late November, were engaged in January, and married in May.
BTW - we weren't teenagers when this all happened. I was 21, he was 24.
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writerpen
Listening to your stories reminded me of my sister who was married almost two years ago. My parents followed her everywhere, but somehow the love bugs managed to "go down behind the barn to make sure everything was working" as my grandfather stated prior to the wedding. As a result she was deleted as a pioneer, and dear ole' Dad lost his "princely" designation as an elder. When I heard this, I laughed, and laughed hard I did.
Often I've wondered if the chaperone thing is the reason so many Witness marriages seem miserable. Even as a Witness, I would always say to fellow dubs that when I dated, there would NOT be a chaperone anywhere or anytime. It is my theory that if I'm going to commit my life to someone, I sure as hell need alot of time alone to find out who he is.
I'm not sure about other congregations, but it was always stressed to me that the dating period should be short. It was suggested that a couple should be married within six months. This always irritated me. I see myself dating for a much longer time, as I do not want to commit myself to a man without knowing what i'm getting into.
Edited by - writerpen on 21 June 2002 10:51:26
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scootergirl
As a parent, and I know that I am going to get slack from some on this one, I will encourage my adult children to consider living w/someone BEFORE they get married. I would much rather have then co-habitate before marriage then go thru a divorce. Of course, this doesn't mean that I would approve of my children living w/every tom-dick-and harry, but for someone that they are seriously considering as a life-partner, YES.....Live together.
**Do you hear that MOTHER.......LIVE TOGETHER WITHOUT A CHAPERONE! Betcha her ears are ringing now!
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Angharad
My parents were great and didnt insist on this all the time.
I did have a friend though whose mother wouldnt even let her telephone her boyfriend unless she was in the room, needless to say that relationship didnt last long.
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SYN
Nope, that's why I was so NAUGHTY!
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starfish422
Well, I didn't date in the Borg but my two older brothers both married and I was a chaperone both times; more so for the younger of the two, who met his girlfriend when she was 16 and they dated for four years before getting married. This made for a lot of me tagging along with my brother everywhere he went; which was okay with me at age 12 because his girlfriend was almost the same age as me and and they listened to good music. And I got to go to a lot of places. But I'm not sure how much they appreciated it! lol I didn't get invited to be in the wedding so maybe that's a clue!