I'm Sad Too

blondie

I have been coming here as a lurker for some time and occasionally posting. I was first drawn by posts from AlanF and Farkel who I suspect are in my age bracket and from my era in the WTS. I look forward to Bill Bowen's posts because I have a personal interest in combating the abuse of children in any form or group. I especially enjoyed Maximus' posts because I received an insight into the WTS that would never have had otherwise. Maximus no longer posts here and that makes me sad. Maybe some were jealous of his knowledge and the attention that he received because of it. I can't read minds and hearts. But now I see the same thing happening with Hillary_Step. Does the pain and perhaps hate you feel for the WTS have to be directed towards him? As I understand, he is no longer affiliated with the WTS. I look forward to others here like Mulan, Princess, VeniceT, Jukief, waiting (pardon me if I offend anyone by forgetting them). I look forward to Frenchy's posts and Ozziepost's. I miss Thinkerswife (who I know is lurking).

What I don't enjoy is gratuitous swearing and attacks on individuals rather than defending the topic. To me it indicates that the person attacking the person won't take the time to form a well-formed response. (I have to admit that AlanF and Farkel do this too but they balance that with more of the former type of response).

I thank Simon for his time and money that support this board, and to his wife and children for sharing him with us.

blondie

I guess no response is a good response.

Gopher

Blondie,

Feeling melancholy this morning? I'm feeling a bit goofy, so I'd better be careful...I don't want to strike the wrong chord.

Overall I was trying to see if you were "yearning for the good old days", or trying to pass on some feedback on current behavior of people on this board, or if you were simply thankful that the board exists, or all. I didn't know 'which part' of your post to respond to.

I'm not feeling sad this morning, because I'm glad this board exists. New people are flocking here and finding what they need to get past the Borg. Yes, there may have been some unfortunate things from the past, and of course those things are beyond our control.

So I'm happy to try to HELP make this place a good spot to be, at least in the threads I jump into.

Hope your day goes okay.

blondie

I like your posts, gopher. You always answer me too. No, I just hope that we treat others like we liked to be treated, a universal axiom (?), with no religious connotation.

Nikita

Hi blondie, I'm sorry that you are sad. What to say? Hmmm, I guess I am thinking that there are so many people here from so many different perspectives. Some are still "in" the Jw's, some have one foot out the door, some are blissfully experiencing life out of the control of the org., some are very bitter for whatever reason (there could be many reasons!) Some are very good at expressing their thoughts, others maybe don't quite know how to phrase things "delicately" or in a "politically correct" manner so-to-speak.

I don't agree with attacks on individuals, I have my own viewpoints on certain matters that may be completely opposite of some of the posters here, but I try to see someone elses perspective. Maybe sometimes people hit the reply button before they have had a chance to really think about what they are saying and how it is coming across. I try to think about that when I see someone upset about this or that-that there is a bigger picture than perhaps meets the eye.

Bottom line, we should all feel free to be able to express our opinions without fear of being attacked for it. It is sometimes more difficult to refrain from speaking than it is to speak.

I have enjoyed all the perspectives represented here in this board. If someone rubs me the wrong way, I just try to not "go there".

Nikita

Wondering if I made any sense out of the jumbled thoughts inside of my INFP head!

hillary_step

Hello Blondie,

Maximus no longer posts here and that makes me sad. Maybe some were jealous of his knowledge and the attention that he received because of it. I can't read minds and hearts. But now I see the same thing happening with Hillary_Step.

Thank you for your gentle words.

I am not quite sure what to say at this stage. If and when I am attacked I have to say that the attacks are rather wasted on me because they pre-suppose that I am terribly affected by them, which I am not.

I have a love-hate relationship with this Board, mainly hate...lol, but I do post here quite regularly. This Board needs to be used with moderation, lest like anything else outside the norm of human behavior it can become unhealthily addictive and gratuitously time-wasting. I have learned not to read certain threads and avoid certain posters whose ethics disturb me. I would for example, never enter into conversation with a person whom I would not want to have in my home, so I simply do not read their messages. As you may subsequently gather Blondie, you are welcome to visit...lol

I wrote these words to a young poster this morning:

My only puzzlement is that I see so many highly intelligent, creative and imaginative young people on this Board, spending many hours involved in threads and exchanges that are imho rather facile, instead of funneling these creative energies into something that will be of some use to this on-line community. You know the type of thing, 'Can You Help Me With My Shattered Life' - 6 posts, 'Should A Girl Swallow Sperm' - 453 posts.

I am eternally frustrated with the what I see as wasted energy. I undertake work for ecological groups Blondie, who are starved of volunteer help, and are working long hours to bring some important changes to the planet. Occasionally, I rub shoulders with the overworked young people of the Peace Corps who have enthusiasm and courage and conscience, and who at a moments notice will travel to dangerous parts of the globe and risk their lives and health in refugee camps. Then I come here and see so much wasted talent, wasting talent.

But, I have learned to live with the unchangeable. I do believe that many after exiting the WTS become trapped in the vacuum between the old world and the real one. In entering an e mail discussion with a poster on the Board, she made a very wise comment regarding this very issue, saying "Yes, Step, but what you must understand is that generally, the only persons you see posting to the Board are the ones that never got over their WTS experience. I suspect that she is correct.

Englishman's comment regarding the use of this board as being ancillairy to real life, not a substitute for it, is also very well made. As for myself, I know that my views are probably not mainstream XJW and therefore never likely to suit everybody. I am prepared to take my stripes with the best of them, but all I have ever asked for is that civility and good manners not be viewed as a weakness, but as a strength.

Take care Blondie - HS

Edited by - hillary_step on 16 June 2002 13:29:21

blondie

Thanks Hillary and Nikita for your answers. I should have realized that you can handle yourself, Hillary. I understand how angry people can be when betrayed by people who were supposed to love them. I see people trapped in their anger too. But do we want to become like the people who betrayed us?

But we all to move on with our lives. Mourn the time you lost or feel was wasted. Recognize that some family ties will never be mended and probably shouldn't be. Realize that family is more than shared DNA but shared goals and love. Find people who love you and share your goals. I see so many people trying to re-establish contact with abusive family members.

Imagine that these people are child molesters. Would you want to associate with your molester? Would you want your children to do so? Of course not. Believe me, the verbal, emotional, and spiritual abuse I hear others tell about here are just as damaging.

Well, I said more than I intended and I don't expect much response. But thanks for everyone's responses.

concerned mama

Blondie,

I couldn't agree more.

concerned mama

LoyalLeon

Sometimes it appears to me that jw.com is centered around anything but jw.

LL

Farkel

blondie,

I think many of us share that same frustration. I commented about it several times and got blasted between the eyes for doing so. Then again, a board this large is just like a normal human group of the same size. Everyone has different interests. Some want nothing to do with JW issues, some want to just socialize and have fun, some have serious issues and need support, others want to garner all the attention and will do what-ever-it-takes to do it (You Know who you are), others want to argue solely for the sake of arguing, and some come looking for solid information on the JW religion.

I mostly play to the last part of the audience. Due to the current mix however, my threads are on page six or seven of this board within several hours. It can be frustrating and discouraging, but people have the right to choose what they want to read and what they want to say. They did not have that choice as dubs, so at least that does count for something.

As for the "wars" that go on, well, like AlanF, JanH, NormH, Kent, Talleyman, RandyW and quite a few others, I've been doing this for years and those things go in cycles. This is a rough-and-tumble forum and it takes a lot of grit to hang in there.

Every once in a while a real "gem" gets posted by someone that makes all the other distractions worth it.

Hillary,

Glad you're still here, bud!

Farkel

I'm Sad Too

Share this