OMG, I’m gonna get Old and Die.

by John Aquila 76 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • thedepressedsoul
    thedepressedsoul

    This had to be one of the hardest things to deal with when learning TTATT for me.

    It still makes me sad at times. When I look at my wife and realize that she will one day get old, we won't be together forever and that she is not mentally prepared for that. Part of me doesn't want to take that from her. That those close to you who have died, you really wont see again. It's a hard thing to come to terms with when you've been raised your whole life thinking the opposite.

    I will say though, I appreciate life 10x more than when I thought I'd live forever. I take things in way more and live more in the moment. I appreciate food more, I appreciate looking at my wife and cherishing the time that I have with her. When I see something beautiful, I really stop and appreciate it.

    It's a hidden gem in learning that you will one day die. Thinking I'd live forever, I never took the time to appreciate the small things. Honestly, I see a lot of 80+ JW that just seem so confused. They don't get why the end hasn't come, why they are suddenly finding themselves old with nothing to fall back on. It seems like a very sad way to end your life.

    I appreciate that when I am 70, I will have seen it coming and will enjoy my old age. It won't be a shock for me.

  • clarity
    clarity

    OMG I am not going to live forever!!!!!! Once I could actually mouth those words & reality set in, I was ok with it .......but madder than hell about wasting so much of the life I DID have!

    The irony is that the go to 'feel good' belief was trashed. Whenever I had problems or wasn't saving enough money or didn't have the luxuries that some higher-up jws had .........my feel good' thing would kick in with the thought .... oh well we will all be in the same boat & throwing our money in the street real soon now!! Ya right!

  • disillusioned 2
    disillusioned 2

    I never wanted to die so wasn't I 'lucky' that my mum became a witness so I never would. Except we didn't believe in luck did we. Didn't we all feel so smug that we were the only people on the earth who were not going to die, although I never liked thinking about what we had to go through to get to that point; great tribulation, persecution, Armageddon, and everyone else on the planet being killed so that we could live! I was never happy about any of that.

    I never wanted to get old and believed I never would. I left school at 15 got a job, didn't pay into a pension (would never need it) better to have the money then. I am now much older than I ever thought I would be and have believed for a number of years now that I am definitely going to die. I don't really know exactly when I came to that realisation because it took years of internal wrestling for me to come to terms that I wasn't 'in the truth' and that everything I had believed was false. I don't believe that I was blind, or stupid, none of us were. We were brainwashed, indoctrinated.

    Yes I am going to die and there is nothing I can do about it. I am resigned to this, unlike a lot of witnesses I know who still believe they are not! I know a few who have categorically stated "I have no intention of dying", one said this to her grandson. I feel he will one day be disappointed.

    I wonder is it better to believe you are going to die and accept it or believe you are not and have all your dreams dashed when you realise you are.

  • Vidiot
    Vidiot

    done4good - "I don't think I personally ever really wanted to live forever in that Stepford world.."

    Imagine a regime where democracy, free speech, and freedom of religion were nonexistent, creationism was mandated in school, any alternative forms of sexual expression were outlawed, DFed individuals were imprisoned or exiled, and apostates were sentenced to death without possibility of appeal or reprieve.

    Worldwide. Lasting forever.

    x

    Now imagine having to live indefinately under it.

  • Village Idiot
    Village Idiot

    punkofnice: "I now realise life is hopeless. I hate life. I can't wait to die but don't want to end it myself"

    Hang in there guy, I've been there myself until I got help. If you can afford it take some anti-depressants. They've helped me a lot once I found the right one.

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Please watch this great video about living ...and dying...

    https://richarddawkins.net/2014/07/what-should-we-think-about-death/

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    And when you realized that the thing you cherished the most, that is;

    That you would be with you spouse forever, and with your children forever, and with your grandchildren, and with your great grandchildren, and with your parents, and their parents,

    It wasn't something that I cherished the most.



  • Crazyguy
    Crazyguy
    It was a crazy feeling to realize that there is no life after death and no I'm not going to live forever. Another emotion was that I wasted my youth and a lot of potential on this cult. A friend of mine did break down and cry when the reality of it all hit him. I chose my name crazyguy because of all these emotions.
  • John Aquila
    John Aquila
    Crazyguy
    It was a crazy feeling to realize that there is no life after death and no I'm not going to live forever. .... I chose my name crazyguy because of all these emotions.

    Would you believe the first time I saw your name, I had a strong feeling that's why you chose that name. It's CrAzY!
  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    I freaked out a bit when learning TTATT. It's been a couple of years, and I've gained some perspective.

    Before calming down a bit, I would have panic attacks ( small ones ) where , "Omg!! I....AM....GOING....TO....DIE.." raced through my head. I would drink quite a bit, and lie in the fetal position, sometimes for hours.

    I had multiple issues going on at the same time.

    1) Learning TTATT ( I had been lied to.)

    2) Realizing my own mortality.

    3) Realizing that I will bury my parents.

    4) Realizing that I had the unfortunate fate of being born a DUB. My entire life, what it might have been, was based on a cults dogma. My friends, education, dating life, marriage, career, ( lack of ) all had been hijacked.

    5) At least I had the loving Eldubs to accuse me of apostasy, and tell me that I don't "qualify."

    DD ( They WILL NOT break me.) 👿

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