Maybe this is a bit obtuse, but see if you can follow me here and maybe throw in your own views. As I see it, the organization as a whole is a family, and like most, it is dysfunctional. You have the parents in those taking the lead (GB, elders, overseers, etc.) and the kids that they're trying to raise (publishers in the congregations). However, I was reading some of the latest WT (September I believe) and it was really hitting me as to how things go in this family and my wife and I were discussing it. Here is what we see:
The parents are what one would call "helicopter parents" today. They stand over their kids and watch their every move and criticize it. They tell their kids what they should think, how they should feel, and always expect more. Much like the kid that has a dad that played baseball when he was younger and failed to live up to his own aspirations to get to the major leagues, we have parents that always want more and more. They don't take into account our individual limitations and/or interests. They expect us to play the game they way they want it played and to always practice, practice, practice so that we can get better. Could it be that if they'd at least leave room for imperfection and differences they might find out that we excel in some other game, or could play the game the way we're wired instead of just being little "mini-me" versions of them as they try to squeeze us into a predetermined mold?
Our parents in the organization are also narcissists. As mentioned, they not only see everything through their eyes and expect us to fall in line and follow suit, but we're little more than objects to them. We're here to validate their feelings, to make them look good. If we don't, just like any object, we can be discarded. And we know that. We don't walk around feeling loved, we walk around the organization feeling like we need to measure up, knowing that even one slip up could cost us dearly. Our parents make mistakes themselves, but when they do they get to gloss over them. Their mistakes slip into oblivion, not to be mentioned or pointed out, as any good narcissist will easily manipulate things so that their own mistakes are not pointed out. In fact, a good narcissist will make you think that you're the one that's wrong if you try to point out their error. They must manipulate in order to keep their position over you. In our case, they set themselves up as masters of our faith, contrary to what they're supposed to be.
As their children, we want to be looked upon with favor, so we spend some time trying to live up to what they want. However, there comes a point for many of us where we realize that we can never do so. They always want more, we're never good enough. The constant striving makes us tired and exasperated, to use a Biblical term. We then become downhearted, and start questioning our parents. It is really the only thing that we can do at that point. All of the sudden we start seeing that our parents are just messed up people repeating patterns from their parents. They're not superior to us, just older. Likely they are doing a better job than their parents if they have any desire to do better for themselves, and we'll strive to do better than they did in life. Ultimately though, the dad that you saw as Superman when you were little and that you looked up to is reduced to just a man. Another human, probably doing his best, but falling into patterns of conditioning and culture like we all do. It doesn't negate everything he's ever told you, as even the most abusive, horrible parents probably instilled some good things in their kids. Few things are all good or all bad. Regardless, that faith you once had in your parent is now crushed. As kids we set them up on high, but as adult parents they set themselves up for this too. They put themselves on a pedestal and lorded their position over us. They were always right, they knew what was right for us, and even when they were wrong they tried to blame us. It is sad, but ultimately in these types of families there's going to be a lot of fallout, and the parents brought a lot of it on themselves.
They have other children though that will defend those parents to the bitter end. Those children cannot see the defects of their parents. It hurts too much for them to acknowledge it, so they live life thinking those parents can do no wrong. If you mention that mom or dad did something negative, they will defend them and you end up the bad guy.
These types of families can be repaired. It takes transparency and humility though, and narcissists have a hard time ever finding the ability to do such. They lack the compassion of Jesus, who looked at the value of little kids and wanted them brought to him because he saw the characteristics that they possessed. Instead they see the kids as little more than problems, trying to keep them at bay.
Any thoughts? Maybe you see it differently? It honestly mirrors a lot of my own upbringing, from my literal family to my so called spiritual one that I grew up with as a Witness.