i have been seeing a jw

by chineseprincess 23 Replies latest social relationships

  • chineseprincess
    chineseprincess

    for about 2 months i have been seeing a jw male. he is as sweet as can be. he just makes my heart melt. just last week i asked him again "if i don't convert what will you do" he replies "then i'll have to say bye bye" i then became sad again. i then told him that i'll miss him then. after that for 3 days we didn't talk but today he wants to spend time with me and take me out to dinner. Last night i asked him "you don't want to get emotionally attached, do you?" he said that he thinks he's already is. We had already had sex 6 times, after the fourth time he told his congregation and he told them that he wouldn't do it again, yet he did. And he haven't told them yet. i have heard from many people about what i should do with him, but there is a part of me that feels that he won't care what they think and just be with me. life sucks at times.

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Welcome to the discussion, princess.

    My advice:
    Get out of this relationship before you become even more emotionally involved.
    As long as the Watchtower Society continues to control his conscience, you will always be his guilty pleasure and his secret lover.
    Don't you think that a Princess deserves to be shown a bit more respect?

  • zanex
    zanex

    g'luck...the legendary skill of jws in leadin them damn double lives is something that will NEVER change..sigh. Before u get used, abused and thrown away get out. Biggs got it right...doesnt a princess deserve to be treated better?

    "pop another pill, it will all become clearer...TRUST ME"

    -Z-

  • 144thousand_and_one
    144thousand_and_one

    I'd like to express my condolences to you, chineseprincess. The relationship is already dead. This man's love for you will always be conditioned upon your conversion to his cult. Converting to his cult will guarantee you misery for the duration of your involvement with it.

    My advice to you is to terminate the relationship immediately. There are plenty of fish in the ocean, so you should avoid those that come from polluted waters.

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    Wait a second, if he is having sex with a non-jw, then he is not even a REAL JW.

    Rainy day in hell I would date a JW (now an EX-JW and I would never ever go back.) But, maybe she can prove to him the "truth" really isn't the truth? Just an idea... See, Jehovah's Witnesses are what you would call a CULT. My ex husband married me while I was a Jehovah's Witness, although I was a very bad one, just like the young man you are dating.

    My advice, get out if you are not attached. If you ARE attached, see if you can show him the religion is FALSE and a CULT. If you need help on this, ask the board and we can provide you with the proper resources.

    Hugs,
    Amanda - aka Moe

  • MrMoe
    MrMoe

    Taken from YOUR website -- And you still WANT this boy? Why are you even posting asking for advice? I am not saying this to be rude, but please let it go.

    May 20, 2002
    Well nothing much had happened lately, except my jw boy had finally told his mother about what had happened and I don't know what is going to happen now. At times I feel that he is trying to fade away from my life, but he tells me he really wants to be with me. I'm still waiting on our first dinner out with eachother. Maybe sometime next month.

    May 20, 2002 later in the day
    well i have just recently spoke to this jw, i guess i won't be seeing him anymore, unless i was to visit him at work or he visits me. i feel sad and depress, well i guess i'll lose that feeling (of just wanting to hold him) eventually, right? within time i will find out.

    May 24, 2002 friday morning
    Well I come on this today and I noticed that the information i had added last night didn't get saved or something. Well let's see... I told me ex up north that I have decided not to go up north to visit, mr man (most recent ex) is still pursing me, and the jw, doesn't know what to think anymore because I told him that I don't want to care anymore. The question is, why care about someone that you can't have unless you were to change? Why put myself in that position, where if I do fall for him and his cute ways and I end up losing him completely. Why risk being hurt again. I just don't want to pushed over the edge. Yes, he is sweet and adorable but I can't have him because of his people.

    may 25, 2002 early early in the morning 2:30 am
    Well i had just gotten back from hangin' out with my buds, I have just recently received a phone call from mr man and i had to tell him that i don't want him in my life. so then he says "fine, you're on your own bitch" how wonderful. so i guess I'll be paying for the whole cell phone bill myself ($717 for the freakin' month). It seems that the jw doesnt' mind being with when he gets kicked out of his congregation, but that kinda leaves me feeling 2nd to him. I will see where this shall lead to.

    May 25,2002 later in the evening
    mr man tells me that he'll pay me half of the cell phone bill in 3 weeks but i think that isn't good enough. He should pay me NOW. What if he decides later, that he doesn't want to pay, then what?

    May 29, 2002 afternoon
    Well me and the jw have been seeing eachother off and on for about 2 months now and only two friends of his and his mother know about him seeing me. His mother doesn't really approve of it and she wish that he stop seeing me. Well I don't know what is going to happen. Either I convert and be with him or he leaves the congreation to be with me or just accept eachother or it's over.

    June 1, 2002 8:00pm
    Well yesterday I went looking for the jw's home and eventually he tells me that he's at his friend's home. So I found him then he followed me back to my place and we kicked it. Eventually I asked him again, if I don't convert then what happens. He said, then it's bye bye. That makes me sad because what if this feeling of like becomes love and I don't decide to convert. Then I'll be heart broken, very depressed and I just might do something stupid. Said to say I finally told him that I'll miss him. Matter of fact I miss him already.

    June 1, 2002 11:50 pm
    well I guess that's the end of the road for me and the jw for now. Life's not fair! Maybe one day our paths might cross again...

    June 4, 2002 1:00 am
    well i just got back from LA, it was this guy's birthday and he had a bad day so to maybe brighten up his day, i went to visit him and hung out. Now my freakin' ex is deciding not to pay me for the damn cell phone bill. He said he is going to stop payment on a check that he wrote me that is posted dated. That is so f**ked up. He tells me that I'm stupid, a slut, whore, and etc... Now i don't know what to do.

  • absolutelynoone
    absolutelynoone

    Princess,

    RUN. Seriously, RUN.

  • Dutchie
    Dutchie

    Well, Princess, sorry to hear of your troubles. But I think you know in your heart this is a no win situation.

    Mr. Biggs: Now, I've seen everything! I've heard of animation but your "basketball game" signature is too cool! What will you think of next?

  • Mister Biggs
    Mister Biggs

    Thanks, Dutchie!

    That's Allen Iverson in his rookie season with the Philadelphia 76ers doing a crossover dribble on Michael Jordan when he played for the Chicago Bulls.

    The rookie, on that day, made the champion look silly...especially since the shot went in!

  • Matty
    Matty

    Princess

    There has been some damn good advice on this thread, so please give it all a good read! This situation has also come up many times before so please have a look at some past posts too.

    When I was a staunch Jehovah's Witness about six or seven years ago I fell in love with a non-JW and her name was Gill. It was very painful experience for me to fall for someone "in the world", I was very inexperienced and so I was very bewildered about it all. But I had to do what was "right", and so I never took the relationship any further than a close friendship. She was a very very good friend, and I had this dumb fantasy that she might come in "the truth" one day, so that I could go out with her properly, but of course it never happened.

    I look back now and think what an idiot I was for letting her go, knowing what I know now – I’m filling up with tears just thinking about it. She of course eventually found a guy that didn't have any baggage, and when she told me about him, I pretended that I was so happy for her, when instead I just wanted to die. She is now blissfully happy somewhere down in the southeast of England, having a darned better life than I am having right now.

    So my advice is, give the guy a plain, stark choice; and try and be firm about it: it’s you, or “the Witnesses”. And for god’s sake don’t ever become a Jehovah’s Witness just to make him happy – and don’t fool yourself that it could be just a “temporary” thing just to keep him happy. He’ll be a damn fool for letting you go, just like I was all those years ago for letting that girl go. I know it’s easier said than done, but if he truly loves you then he will make the right decision. Perhaps if I were given such an ultimatum I would have got out of this darned religion a bit sooner!

    Best of luck

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit