I had an epiphany about the date 2005. One of the holy men of the governing body was sitting on the throne (loo, potty, crapper) after consuming too much prune juice. His movement looked like the numbers 2005. He called all the other holy men together and they agreed. The then encased this movement in plastic making a a holy relic.Thus we get the expression Holy Crap! To explain the mathematics of this new revelation they multiplied the number of BMs this member had by the number of beers Joe Rutherford consumed during his rule, square rooted it my 607, the subtracted this from 1914.Then they coorelated the number of backcalls in 1975 by the number of people who really understood the Babylon Great book and added it to the total coming up with 2005 give or take a generation that is soon or iminent. Do you get it? As Robin would say to Batman, "Holy Dingleberries!" I hope my explanation is helpful and puts your mind at ease.
The Unfinnished Mystery & 2005 My View
by docpalo 8 Replies latest jw friends
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Dutchie
You computations make just about as much sense as any made by the Governing Body in their publications.
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SpiceItUp
Thus we get the expression Holy Crap!
ROFL!!!!! -
docpalo
Gee thanks for saying they make as much sense as the Governing Bodys math. I burnt out my calculator doing this. I didn't get to see the holy relic though. They have it under guard and lock and key. In fact the Bethelites are instructed keep me in a 3 block radius away from Headquarters. Since I am labeled apostate, demonized and insane by my old congregation I am easy to spot. Something to do with horns and cloven hoof. I don't get it though I am a likeable guy and have an interest in setting the records straight for truths sake. Oh , did I say a dirty word, truth?
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crawdad2
your wrong about 2005.
probably cause you forgot about the "0".... from bc to ad.
i suggest you re-calculate the formula again... -
docpalo
I'd recalculate it but the member of the Governing Body presently has constipation and my calculator is burned out. Can you get me a deal on a calculator? I will try and deliver more potent prune juice to this poor fellow. Hey, maybe an abacus would do the trick, but it would have to be a ancient Sumerian one from the dynasty of King Herod and kept by nuetered and cloistered monks who never read anything but the Latin translation of the NWT and the Golden Age. Do you think it can be done. The future of the Organization depends on it! Peace.
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Sabine
OMG!!! Too funny, thanks for the laugh. You are hill-air-e-us docpalo!
You too, crawdad!!
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ItsJustlittleoldme
your wrong about 2005.
probably cause you forgot about the "0".... from bc to ad.
Damn! now we need some "new light" on the matter.. And just as I was getting 'comfortable' that I didn't understand what the hell you said, but just plain accepted it.. Now I gotta go through the phase of trying to make sense of the new light, when it comes out, and ultimately conclude that I have no idea what the hell you said, have no idea how to understand it or defend it, but will not tell anyone else for *I* know it must just be me, and I don't want to stumble anyone else..
I must be a baaaaaad person, for I cannot figure out your prediction, or the new one yet to come...
But maybe I won't be punished if I just keep my mouth shut, and don't say anything to anyone about it, and 'play along' and pretend that I understand it, it makes sense, and sounds logical.. Yeah, then I'll have a shot at everlasting life, for Jehovah certainly cannot see that I have no idea about it...
Ohhh, the guilt.... I'll just internalize it... Why can't I be like everyone else, and just understand the holy crap!!! I'm a very bad person indeed, not worthy of Jehovah's love...
Oh well, I'll wait on Jehovah, what's the new light.. Let me have it, maybe the new light will make some sense!!!
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heathen
Maybe your lamp just ran out of oil ,don't expect the rest of us virgins to share .