To all those who watched the Dateline episode regarding the handling of child molestation incidents by the Jehovahs Witnesses:
Your television is now demonized as it received signals from Satan himself. You must get rid of it immediately. For a limited time only, I am offering to gather up all these demonic television sets at no cost to you except for the shipping.
Don't take this lightly. I can remember a JW family that told us about their experiences watching the tv show "Bewitched." When the father attempted to satisfy his responsibilities as an elder and a parent by turning off this demonic program, a hand kept coming out of the television and turning it back on. Finally, the television was thrown out of the house, but not before the family saw other demonic phenomena, including books that floated around the house. Learn from this family's experience and send me your television immediately!
After you send me your television, you might be interested in purchasing some Miracle Wheat to satisfy your physical and spiritual hunger. I can hook you up . . . what are you waiting for?