Help, my son misses the hall...

by termite 35 24 Replies latest social family

  • IslandWoman
    IslandWoman

    Termite,

    I don't think my son feels the same about JWs. His eyes have been opened to their faults but he also is aware of the good things. We were in a very loving congregation, very loving. People really cared and showed concern for each other.

    If he should decide to get baptized he will do it with VERY open eyes, I will make sure of that! We will support his decision though, since it is his to make.

    I hope all the best for you, your son and your family.

    IW

  • meomy
    meomy

    Hello, when I was about 4 or 5 my mom let me go to church with
    friends ... I had a great time..
    however, I always wished my mom was with me.
    I think it helps kids if we are involved in their world including
    worship.
    Take care, hope all goes well for your lil one..
    Meomy

  • termite 35
    termite 35

    Island woman ,some congs are like that ar'nt they?then you tend see the society on a local level projected on to an international scale and assume they're all like that.I know a few people who want to stay, no matter what,as they love the association so much(that's NOT a dig at your son)Be happy.XX
    #MEOMY,you've hit the nail on the head; that was my origional problem, I do want to go with him somewhere for his sake, but I can't go as i'd feel a hypocrite;I think the answer will be to go to a non denominational church occasionally and hopefully when he's older he'll just carry it on if he wants to,on his own.Hope it's enough to satisfy him,and not panic me!XXX

    thanks you lot!you're great.X
    the sun is shining,i'm off to have lunch in a Dorset pub garden with my greatest friend and i've got 3 more orders for paintings!
    Life does not suck today!

  • raven101
    raven101

    Termite,

    I think you are right for being concerned about your sons focus right now, especially if you get the feeling that he is afraid of 'displeasing god'.

    Pretty much any dogmatic religion whether christianity, islaam, etc works from a basis of fear, although mainstream christianity is better than jws in that at least those who 'accept christ as their personal saviour'' are guaranteed safe harbor, it still damns all the rest.

    That's scary.

    I would advise exposing him to a variety of belief systems, not inundate him, but just show him that there are many beliefs, and explain that all are valid in their way.

    Some eastern philosophy could be invaluable to him, something that stresses individual responsibility in a POSITIVE way. Responsibility for knowing the inherent value of self, the inherent goodness, strength, and beauty WITHIN.

    Jiddu Krishnamurti has one of the most beautiful and positive philosophys, his stress is on love, and freedom from fear. Though he will need some help from you as it may be a bit abstract for an 8 yr old, he wrote 'The Life Ahead' (or just 'life ahead') particularly for young people.

    Another is Lao Tse . . . you will find a good translation at
    http://www.edepot.com/tao8.html
    Lao Tse's writing is very brief and poetic, very meditative and soothing.

    You won't find any hellfire, gehenna, devil or demons, no god for that matter in these writings. The only hell they speak of is the one people create for themselves in their own minds.

    You say your son is a sensitive soul, well sensitive people are the strongest in the world . . . unless someone convinces them to turn over their power to another source, then they are at risk of becoming victims of their own sensitivity.

    My best advice would be to lead him AWAY FROM THE HELLFIRE, I can't agree that it is harmless (though it certainly is for SOME). Fear based, condemning religions have wrought some of the most evil suffering on the world.

    Best luck to you and yours,

    raven101

  • termite 35
    termite 35

    Sorry Auntiejane; did'nt see your post;I'm at the stage after all the trouble i've been through,of trying to sort my self out,I hav'nt reached the stage of looking for another religion yet; i'm still reeling from the last one!My mother was a s/ school teacher, so I was always taken to church and had a good time...It's a shame she's not here anymore... the perfect soloution for my son and I !I think i'm going to have to bite the bullet and go, but to commit myself to a cong. is not a pleasant thought at the moment...this is a small town too; i'll go from termite the jw-to termite the born again/rc/co of e etc and I don't want to identify with anyone religion!I don't want to end up having to leave another one,and uoset him all over again.Perhaps we could come to an agreement of going once a month,and i'll get involved in the charity rather than the worship side...Thanks-have a good day XX

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