Guess one of the nice things about a 'board' like this is that no one knows who you are, what you are, why you are or anything else, huh? LOL
Scenario:
Person studies, is baptized, learns more about the bible than thought was even there. Realizes that even though baptized, there are still some things in his life that are in need of 'repair'. He's haunted by nightmares. Can't hold a job. Afraid of everyone and everything but quite adept at maintaining a great facade, doing/being what he thinks people want him to be.
He goes into therapy and begins deal with being raped at 8 by three teenage boys in a "Church School" growing up and continues to be molested though his teens. Begins to understand and piece together what the abuse is doing to his life and where all the fears and anxieties are coming from. He also realizes that he has followed in the steps of his abusers and has also vicitimized others. He goes to the elders AND families in the congregation realizing the need of change and asking for help in doing so. He's not 'reported' by the elders he confides in, but is severely reprooved.
HE chooses to go to the police himself, wanting to KNOW that the "silent lambs" are given the opportunity to be heard in any and all forums available to them - something he didn't have as a lamb; wanting to do anything in his power to make amends.
Great story, huh?
Where does this person blong in the world? Where would YOU ('you' in general terms...) have him? Where would he fit in in the congregation? - or would he? Would he ever? If so, when? Under what cercumstances? Suicide would be a great choice for him, right? But then what would everyone else talk about? What would everyone else be busy with without such gossip and hear-say? Who'd fuel the chat rooms and discussion boards?
With the 'support' available, suicide would be the best option, right? Should he be angry with the congregation or the elders for not being at his side every minute during his jail time? For not letting him be a Ministerial Servant? For not allowing him to go in service with whom he choses - or at all? Fortunately, he IS learning, for the first time in his LIFE, HOW to make appropriate choices now. He has qualified people to help teach him.
Most people would want to call him a pedophile. Does that make THEM feel superior or something.... Do they know the definition and does it fit? Maybe he is.... The world would want to brand him for life. Anyone ever told a lie? Does that make them a 'Liar' forever? Is that who they ARE? Maybe just a lost sheep who has painfully found his way, with a lot of wounds and scars, to a better place for himself and others.
His probems go much deeper than most people on a 'discussion board' are capable of dealing with. Most should be thrilled not to be an 'elder' and have to deal with the problems presented - or should they strive to be more 'qualified' in order to help? Is it just HIM they're helping or is it an entire congregation? Is there one vicitim, or has the whole congregation been vicimized and in need of help and healing?
Heavy for anyone to deal with in a 'just' way.
Just a story....
