JW Friend was Married this Weekend. Tutto è bene che riesce bene. (page 2)

Oubliette

As another poster would put it: Let's review: It's a cult!

Yeah DOC, I'm kinda' fond of saying that.

I picked it up from 00DAD and have enjoyed carrying on his tradition.

I was drawn to this thread because my son was married this weekend and I was explicitly NOT INVITED with no clear, understandable explanation. I was hoping that objectivetruth might have been writing about my son. It didn't take too long to see that OT's experience, although similar, is about a completely different person.

A few years back I was disfellowshipped. I'm sure this was hard for my son. I certainly could have handled things better, I admit it. But even in retrospect I would still have resigned as an elder (I just wouldn't have told anyone why), I would have separated from my now ex-wife and I would have told her why, just not all of the TTATT details. During all of this I did everything I could as a DF'd person not living in the same home to maintain a relationship with my son. As it soon became obvious, everything was stacked against me.

Sadly, when my ex and I separated and later divorced she began a long and committed campaign to alienate me from my son. She is a very bitter and angry woman. Her vitriol aided by the social pressure to shun me from the congregation successfully ruined my relationship with my son.

I naively believed my love for my son and his love for me would be stronger than the rules of this manmade religion. I was wrong, very wrong.

I learned that lesson the hard way. It was and continues to be very painful, especially considering I was the one that first taught him these beliefs!

Apparently I was better at teaching beliefs to his mind than I was at instilling real, unconditional love into his heart.

Since then, I have done everything I could think to reconcile with my son, even going through the humiliating process of getting reinstated, which was all the more difficult because I--as you all know--I think this religion is a cult. I have been reinstated well over a year and, inspite of repeated efforts on my part to reconcile, I have only had one short conversation with my son in that time. It lasted less than 5 minutes.

This religion ruins good people. It's hard to understand why they don't see it, but they don't. It's not about intelligence. It seems to be about a certain kind of humility and personal strength of character.

I keep hoping I'll find a way to reach my son. I won't give up, but it's still very sad. In the meantime, I continue to work on my own spiritual growth and emotional development. I'm glad to say that everything else in my life is really good. I know have a great deal of friends that love me for WHO I am and not WHAT (I PRETEND) TO BELIEVE. I have also managed to repair a few family relationships that were broken and/or strained when I was a JW.

Oh, yeah. One more thing ...

Let's review: It's a cult!

-

J-DUBBED

I naively believed my love for my son and his love for me would be stronger than the rules of this manmade religion. I was wrong, very wrong.

I read your story and it's like I wrote it....Sort of. I can't see me waking him up in my lifetime, I'm pretty much out of steam. When I or my wife would confront him it just ends up with him preaching and quoting some garbage(that just boggles my mind), then closes in an argument. Most all of our relatives and freinds(which are non J-Dubbs) make it seem like we are being cruel to our son. I don't get it. We lost a lot of people that were our freinds.......I guess they really were never our freinds. We don't bother with most of our relatives either. People are acting like it's no big deal and we are basicly making a bigger thing than it is. I plainly tell them "If and when this happens to one of your own kids.....Come tell me how you feel then". The big thing we worry about is the little girl our son had with his ex-girlfreind which is now 4 years old. His ex-girlfreind was best freinds with his new J-Dub bride for over 8 years prior. Good Ol' Devil Woman swooped in like a black widow and trapped him in the web. My wife and I see our little grand daughter through the ex-girlfreind quite a bit. Through the court custody battles he said he was not going to be taking her to KingDumb Hall. Well that was a bullshit lie like everything else about them. They drag her to that shit-hole any time he has "His Time" to have her.

I constantly worry our little Grand daughter is becoming so messed up and nothing we can do about it. One thing for sure is my wife and I give her Christmas's, Birthdays, Easters, Halloween,........You name it.

I think I'll be out of life before I can win a fight with these bastards.

joe134cd

Yup they will drop you quicker than a hot cake if you speak your mind.

J-DUBBED

What would it be like to just fire out a question to my J-Dubbed Son?

Something Like;

Son, have you ever heard of the term "Love Bombing"?

Then see how he replies. Or am I just looking up a dead horses ass?

sporece

Sei libero e comincia a vivere senza l'oppressione della societa.

smiddy

You were never a real freind you were only an associate in their eyes , as hard as that may sound , jehovahs witnesses dont have real freinds they only have associates , if you stray from GB policy they will cut you off like you never even existed .

Completely opposed to the biblical scriptures , that a freind is closer than a brother , or a freind in need is one you should help not shun . or words to those effects.

Its been a long time since I listened to all this bullshit./

smiddy

objectivetruth

Thank You all for your words and encouragement.. I would choose all of My Friends on this site over any of my former friends, 10 times over.

Oubliette - It's so hard to wrap my mind around a son doing that to his father, unfathomable.

Lets Review ... it's A Cult.

BluesBrother

. Our wedding will be held in a Kingdom Hall in a few short months, as (Best mans name) may have told you, and that being the case it is open to the public as are normal meetings held there."

That line I find particularly cutting - in fact downright rude. Perhaps he is being manipulated by new wife & her family? But at least he might have expressed a wish to see you there , the same as he would to workmates ..

Oubliette... It is shocking that you were excluded from your own son's wedding. At the last J H wedding I attended , the groom's mother was d/f'd, but she was there- right in the wedding party. I don't know how she got on at the reception, or even if she went to it but I gave her a nod & wink at the Hall.

I do not think that there are hard and fast rules on this, one can call it it "necessary family business" but the heartlessnes of some dubs that I read on this board is shocking. I think they are just so rule-bound that they miss the whole point of Christian living. What would Jesus do? follow the rules or the principle of love?

LoveUniHateExams

@objectivetruth - sorry that your friend's given you the cold shoulder.

Remember, though, that he doesn't mean it personally - he is under cult mind control.

Sorry, non parlo italiano, 'tutto è bene che riesce bene' = 'all's well that ends well?'

JW Friend was Married this Weekend. Tutto è bene che riesce bene.

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