Satan Mounts Attack

by tdogg 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • tdogg

    United States-

    Satan the Devil, the wicked one, launched an extraordinary offensive tonight against Jehovah Himself. After taking control of the souls of NBC Dateline reporters, the Devil made a vicious and unprecedented attack against Gods own Organization. The report was aired on national television in a first ever primetime media campaign against the Most High. Not since the war in 1914 has the Dark Prince made such a bold move.

    Several defensive attemps by angelic forces, including a scheduling conflict with an NBA playoff game, were mildly sucessful. Many of Gods people were fortunately in Kingdom Halls or at a weekly Bible study meeting, safe from the demonic broadcast though many brothers in Los Angeles and Sacramento were absent likely stricken with a malady brought on by Satan.

    It was reported that many demons were disgruntled with Lucifer's efforts as of late. One unnamed high ranking demon last week told us "I dont know, I mean he is the ruler of the WHOLE world. We cant just sit back and hope the internet wins this for us, what about primetime news shows? We have to think out of the box."

    This latest event might solidify Satan's tenuous hold as leader of the forces of evil.

    Damage control efforts are expected immediately and the Governing Body of Jehovahs people are already in action. Much spiritual food and even impending new light has been repoted forthcoming by sources in Bethel, Gods earthly headquarters. Society leaders apparently had previous knowledge of the coming attack since they are in fact directed by Jehovah himself, and had made preparations.

    When asked why Jehovah had allowed this attack one source said, "It is obvious why, we are being tested. This will really separate the sheep from the goats. I for one am not going to die at Armageddon because of some stupid television show."

    Reprisals from Heaven are expected, but only in Gods due time.

  • simplesally

    ooooooooooooo those worldy satanic media people who don't rape children! oooooooo they are so evil!!!!! We should guard ourselves against such people as make Dateline!!!!! eeeeeeeekkkkkk

  • Gopher

    And, as usual, JR Brown was unavailable for comment.


    Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.--Will Rogers, 1879-1935

  • Scorpion



  • Pureheart

    During the airing of dateline my brother-in-law turned to me and said, "this will probably bring on a wave of persecution as the Bible fortold".
    I said to myself, "Lord he is so confused".


  • Lindy

    Isn't it funny, "a wave of persecution?" The WTBTS has their followers well trained huh? It is in them to respond without thinking to anything negative about the Society. The next week or so, while this stuff is fresh, it will be interesting to hear the comments of the JWs and how they respond. Most will defend the society somehow, totally ignoring what was brought out. If they don't then they have to think for themselves and we all know where that leads. Most JWs aren't ready for that!
    It is so sad, it makes you wonder what it takes to make people see the facts and the real "truth." I know for me it took years of garbage piling up to the sky. For others it takes very little. I guess it depends on what you have to loose and what that means to each one, whether it is worth it or not. I wish I had seen the "light" much sooner.

  • Robdar

    Tdogg, you are outrageous! Thanks for the laugh.


  • biblexaminer
    "We lied and they persecuted us..."
    "We raped and they persecuted us..."
    "We defrauded and they persecuted us..."
    "We shunned and they persecuted us..."

    "Oh how long dear God until you punish them for persecuting us...?"

    New Light from your friendly neighborhood Governing Body.

  • DB

    Another blow was that about 25 yrs ago, Satan invented the VCR, or least inspired its invention, so that jws who were attending meetings could record the dateline program. Oh that crafty Devil. :):):)

  • gumby

    Unity at all cost!!!!!!!Right!
    Two different witness families across the street stayed home from book study to watch Dateline last night.

    My wife, the dub....she saw I had both TV's going last night and said...."boy!... you really don't want to miss this do you"(in a sarcastic tone). I said...."no... I don't)

    When she came home from BS (book study, BS, whats the difference?)Dateline was still on and she purposely avoided it.

    Real unity ehh? One will watch it, the other one won't.

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