Question about disfellowshipping

MoodyBlue

I have a question...

If the elders "catch wind" of something that could be a df'ing offense, and they ask for a judicial, if you don't show up or refuse to talk to them, can they disfellowship u in absence?? IF they can, is there any legal action that can be taken against it?

I've been threatened by my JW husband (we are separated) because I've met someone else...he is threatening to tell the elders i'm dating someone else ( though as of yet, no "fornication" has occured and it's long distance) if i don't write a letter of disassociation. I wanted to be able to simply walk away quietly from the religion, but now wonder if that's possible.

Does anyone know about judicial procedures??

VeniceIT

Yes, unfortunetly you can be Df'd in abnstentia, my father who was the PO was last year. The main reason they can is if they have 2 witnesses, so that could be your out!!! I don't know, it's not like it's that fair, and these men haven't gone to law school so it's pretty much whatever they feel like doing.

As to legal ramifications I'm not sure what you can do. You might want to talk to a lawyer about that! I guess I would just avoid them, and if they corner you tell them you've done nothing wrong and don't feel comforatble talking to them!

Hope it helps, take care,

Venice

happytobefree

Hi MB,

I don't know the answer to your question, but I glad to see you posting again. You have been in my thoughts. I have alot of questions to ask, but don't know if they are appropriate. But one I really want to know: Are you taking care of yourself? Did you see someone about your depression?

Well glad to see hear from you and hope someone can answer the Disfellowshipped question.

Happy to be Free (Me)

mommy

Moody,
I have been worried about you. I know that I just walked away 8 years ago and have been before the comittee once when I had my daughter. My mom was love bombing me and I thought I would never be able to raise my daughter without her support. So I went before the comittee and cried my eyes out and lied through my teeth. They asked me only a few questions, and I answered them with what they wanted to hear. I had what I wanted(my conditinal family back) and they had what they wanted, another # to add to the stats.(numbers are everything you know) I attended maybe 3 meetings and never went back, they never came and checked on me. So I guess I walked away twice.
I think by me going before them I satified her wishes to confess my "sins" to a bunch of men in ill fitting suits in a musty back room. Of course I was reshunned(is that a word?)as soon as she found out I no longer attended. But nothing ever came from the hall. I wonder if they still have my records? Of course I could have been DA or DF and just don't know it
Your hubby may press the issue though, especially if he wants to remarry. So really think about all your options before you take any actions.
Lotsa love send your way
wendy

nicolaou

Dear MB

I'm so sorry to hear about your sad situation.
It occurred to me that if you no longer believed that JW's have 'The Truth' and that you also were quite happy to leave your JW husband, why worry abou being Disfellowshipped?

Are there other baptised family members involved?

It seems to me that you need to make a simple choice - to stay in or go.

If the decision is to go, then go voluntarily. You will feel better about yourself, you will keep your pride and personal integrity intact and you will have shown to your former so-called friends that, unlike them, you are in control of your own life.

If the decision is to stay in then you must be prepared for a rough ride. It is up to you to grab this bull by the horns and not allow yourself to be bullied by your Elders.

If you would like to know the Judicial Process in cases like yours, including the appeals procedure, I would recommend a look at the Elders Manual. Among other places, you can view a copy at my own site (the address is at the bottom of this post, don't be put off by the membership application, that's just to keep the nutters out!)

MB - please open up and give me more specific information on your case as I really think I may be able to help. You can reach me in confidence at [email protected]

Finally, don't despair.
The WTB&TS are powerful but they have been beaten many times - YOU CAN BE WINNER TOO!

Love
Nicolaou

http://communities.msn.co.uk/altJehovahsWitnesses

MoodyBlue

To all of u that have let me know your concern, thank you. Things are going ok for me, i guess i'm stronger than i thought. I'm coping well, and getting back to counselling as well. this whole decision has been coming for a while, but the fear kept me stagnant...

I don't want to submit to JW "rules" anymore. I want to just walk away, without all the junk. I think the reason my ex is pressing the issue is because he doens't want me "bringing reproach on Jehovah and his org." I don't have immediate family in the org, as it was my husband who brought me in. I just don't like the idea of being shunned. it's complete bullshit to me. i would rather just say, "shove it," and walk away.

crittersitter

mb
i'm so sorry you have found yourself in this rough spot. as for your ex pressing so hard ...maybe HE is the one trying to cover his tracks. he may not really be all that concerned about bringing reproach on the org. i have found from past experience that the one holloring for "jw justice" or that infamous da letter...he has plans of his own...i'll just betcha!!
the best thing to do is walk away with your head held high.....go on with your life and be the best you can be.
the shunning is a bunch of bunk fer sure( i am a current shunee),
so just go for it and live your life..your life does not depend on the org or elders or any one...only you and the ones you choose to have in your life
all of the best sistah mb....

Xandit

Moody you can just walk. They can't do a thing without two witnesses and you're husbands unsupported allegation isn't good enough. Now, if you move in with someone and that can be proved, then that's a different story. Since you don't really care, what difference does it make?

happytobefree

Moody,

I am so glad that you are doing better.

As I mention in the above post, I don't know much about your situation as far as the disfellowshipping. But I don't think you husband is as concerned for the WTBS as he may be about his own emotions (he may be afraid of losing you, or the judging of the JW). Since I don't know the full details, I cannot give advice. But I still hope and know that is will all work its way out.

My heart and thoughts are with you.

Happy to be Free (Me)

happytobefree

deleted.

Edited by - happytobefree on 23 February 2001 14:22:59

Question about disfellowshipping

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