Controlling emotions when it come to JW's

by SpeedRacer 5 Replies latest jw friends

  • SpeedRacer

    Wow I have a lot of anger hidden inside for the JW organization. Just had a conversation with a good friend and JW coworker. J has 2 sisters that are disfellowshipped and he has been working on getting reinstated himself. He made the statement that shunning is just taken overboard by some and then said he doesnt assoiciate with his sisters so as to show them he does not agree with their life style and choices. He said that my folks where wrong in turning their backs on me when they visited the International convention in Arlington. I asked him how what he is doing is any different then what they did to me. He said I wasn't disfellowshipped so he could talk to me. I said he wasn't suppose to talk to opostates and he didnt even know what I was talking about. By having that conversation he should have classified me as an opostate. Talking about a blind eye. Felt the emotions coming to the surface and struggled to keep them under control so I could make valid points to him. I dont think I succeeded. I would think anger is a stage in all this eye opening.


  • Apognophos

    Yes, anger is natural, and the really hard part is finding an appropriate outlet for it. Sometimes I find myself lashing out at people here just to blow off some steam, because everywhere else in my life, I would have to pay too dearly for the outburst.

  • ABibleStudent

    Hi SpeedRacer, It is ok to feel angry and frustrated when talking with a JW. If you want to control your feelings when talking with JWs, change your objective from them agreeing with you and leaving the WTBTS to learning how to critically think for themselves. Let them critically evaluate whether they want to be a JW or not.

    If you want to help JWs critically think for themselves, have you considered doing the following:

    1. Read information by cult-exit counselors, like Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visiting his website, and watching his videos on his website.
    2. Learn how to ask simple questions like Billy the Ex-Bethelite did in the thread exJW Psychology 102--How to Ask a Question When Questions Aren't Allowed. Also, ask simple questions to learn more about what a JW's authentic persona loves to do.
    3. Learn how to overcome thought-stopping platitudes that JWs use,
    4. Encourage JWs to independently research subjects they are interested using the internet. Once they learn how to search the internet and feel comfortable doing it, they may start searching the internet about WTBTS topics.
    5. Encourage JWs to do fun, time-consuming, non-WTBTS activites/hobbies that they love and where they can meet more non-JWs.

    Best of wishes helping JWs to critically think for themselves.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • steve2

    The faulty logic of the human mind intent on defending a shoddy belief system is a true anger-provoking frustration to behold. It willfully ignores commonsense and straightforward reasoning.

    People's ability to fool even themselves can sap any good emotions you might have had towards therm. Grrrrrrr!

    You could benefit from safely venting your emotions: Go to your local gym and spend a few minutes on a punching bag - start out slow and work up a sweat. And pummel that SOB within an inch of his life. Then walk away, wiping your hands with glee, refreshed and lighter with a lovely spring in your step. You've got it out! Ahhhhhhhhh.

    Better yet, purchase a punching bag for home use: They're great for safely letting off steam. Other remedies include turning your music up loud and screaming into a pillow; go to a remote setting such as a beach or bush area and yell out loud at the heavens; run, swim, bike. Get active physically.

    People who repress their emotions do themselves and others no favors. The trick is to acquire a set of safe ways to let it all out.

  • SpeedRacer

    Personally I enjoy putting the head phones in, helmet on, and opening the throttle to clear the frustration of wanting to pummel someone.

    Thanks Robert for the great info. I was just discussing with my wife last night about getting the Steve Hassan books on cult control. Will do!


  • DesirousOfChange

    You can't reason with a fool.


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