How Have You Changed Much In Attitude & Actions Since Leaving The Witnesses?

by minimus 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    It takes time to stop thinking or reacting like a jehovah's Witness.

    Are you still judgmental? A know it all? A person that listens more with their heart instead of their head---like Jehovah's Witnesses ???

  • Coded Logic
    Coded Logic

    I feel I've really toned my need to judge people all the time. Though, to be honest, the inclination still persits. Introspection isn't a one time thing. It's a continuall evaluation of where you stand and why you're behaving the way you're behaving. But by being cognisant of my backround I do find it much easier to accept people for who they are now - instead of just stressing over who I want them to be all the time.

    As far as being a "know it all" - well, I can't really say that's really changed too much. But I am much more comfortable with saying the words, "I don't know." And when I find out I'm wrong about something I can now pallet the saying, "Hey you know what, you're right about that." (It's amazing the amount of respect you get when you can admitt you're wrong). More importantly, I have done a tremendous amount of research since I learned the TTATT. And the more I learn, the more I realize just how little I know.

    The real problem with being a JW isn't how little you know about everything like the Bible. It's that you think you know everything about the Bible. But when you're a witness you don't know who wrote it, when it was written, how it was compiled, how many versions exist of it, old books that used to be in it, new books that were added later, the metrics to use to tell historical accounts from litterary devices, etc. The JWs just do kindergarten theology. They think they can read a 10 page creationist brochure and become an expert on biology. Or read one of Paul's letters and become an expert on psychology. Or cherry pick Bible versus and become an expert on ethics. The WTBTS discourages higher education, philosophy, research, and evidence based reason. It's no wonder I was so judgmental and opionated - I didn't know what it meant to be rational.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Yes. I think my attitude is finally changing from the totally pissed off an angry about it all to more-or-less apathy.

    At first learning TTATT, I wanted to kickass and get even and expose them all and shout from the rooftops and. . . . well. . . you get it.

    I've finally moved on at least somewhat to the jusdontgivashit mode. Although I do feel sorry for the talented young people that are wasting their lives, but I no longer think it's my job to awaken them. They have to do that on their own.


  • Balaamsass2

    I became a nicer person. Less of an ASS...not completely cured yet... per the wife.

  • ssn587

    One big change I longer believe much of anything unless i research and prove it to myself. was always one to do research and that led me out thankfully.

  • This is my tigersuit
    This is my tigersuit

    yes i am pretty much open to anyone having their own lifestyle and beliefs as long as it doesnt hurt anyone else. but it feels very strange- it still goes against the grain to feel this way. i saw a gay couple the other day holding hands. my first inner reaction was the jw one. but then i realized that theyre happy, nice people and who the hell am i to judge them? so yes i personally am becoming less judgemental. i do struggle though with being as friendly with people as i would like, simply because im still dealing with a lot of anger with the wtbts. and it comes through sometimes when i dont want it to. i dont really do anything much different though. watched a few R movies and smoked some cigars, but nothing too crazy...i think i'll probably always be a pretty moderate person at this point....

  • clarity

    Guess I have changed in a lot of ways, sure

    don't look at others as 'bird food' at all anymore.

    Buuutttt.......still kinda maaaddd about all that crap

    we were taught, that was always wrong.....but never

    ever ever an apology or admitting they were running

    ahead & disobeying the 'scriptures'! Or recognizing

    that they ruined so many lives!

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    I sit on the floor in the corner with my knees drawn to my chest and my hands around my legs, my face buried in them and I rock back and forth saying, "I miss being an elder so much, life isn't worth living".


    I have no patience for fools anymore and I no longer wait on Jehovah to right wrongs. I get things done and don't let anything hinder me from doing what needs to be done.

  • Mum

    As a child and adolescent, I had very controlling parents. So I learned to appease others and to obey to avoid trouble. Knowing only how to obey and appease is a recipe for disaster because you're sure to get into situations where one person is pleased with you, but another is not. I have read sooo many self-help booka and have learned to evaluate situations and people so that I can make healthy and appropriate choices. I am much more open and talkative now - and much more confident.

    Please, people, to the extent that they are capable, allow your children to make their own decisions and accept the consequences. No one learns how to cope with life by being ordered around and humiliated if someone is displeased with them.

  • steve2

    I am much more tolerant of my humanity but less tolerant of others' humanity. Very much a work in progress. Oh and more relaxed about growing old and dying in this world. No paradise to soothe my humanity. And much, much better at tsking responsibility for my actions.

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