The wife is starting to pull away from my family. Its my fault but I couldnt help it. My fault because for years my sistets were indifferent to my wifes jwness. But when I became informed and educated myself of all things jw, I confided in my sisters as to all I had learned. I did that because I felt like I never really knew my wife and i was confused. The truth is that I didnt want to know the particulars of the JW faith because then I would have had to face that which i wad never ready to. After all we were married so what good can come out of it now. Any how today is my mothers bday bbq and my wife is taking a stand in not going. Im taking our kids though cuz they want to swim, my sister is throwing the bbq and she had a piol but my 9 year daughter kept begging my wife to come. Sigh...
More friction with jw wife regarding moms bday bbq.
Enjoy your celebration of birthday (human birth is a great wonder that has no parallel, hence day to be celebrated--it only honors the God who designed such a great marvel). If wife does't want to join your celebration, it's her choice, her loss!
It will be fine if you don't make a big deal about the bday celebration part of it. Just how good the food was, how much fun the kids had swimming, Guess what so & so said, etc. We missed you being with us for family fun.
Show your wife Romans chapter 14 then tell her that this proves your religion is wrong about holidays.
If your wife chooses to be a weirdo and family misfit that is her choice. No need to keep inviting her or trying to cajole her into attending. Just attend the birthday BBQ with your family and enjoy yourselves. Your wife can sit at home alone with her self-righteous attitude of moral superiority. Her beliefs are the product of brainwashing by a mind-controlling cult. Be sure your daughter and other relatives understand that fact.
She ended up going cuz my daughter was relentless. It was nice, very informal but mom enjoyed having most of her 16 grandkids there. I will never understand whyjws can tjrn something so joyful into something negative.
Married toaJW: its the guilt. Is your wife a born in? If so she has been taught all her life that every thing she does is being monitored by Satan & his demons andJehovah & His angels to see if we will keep our integrity.
Every thing is a test to see how faithful we will be to Jehovah. And of course we know what god expects through the direction and instruction from the Society.
I hope your wife had a good time.
I am married to a nonJW myself.
When I was a practicing JW , I used to feel guilty for going to his grandma's birthday bbq.
It was a huge affair with all of my husband's family. It was more of a family reunion around the time of grandma's birthday .
I got good at rationalizing why it was okay to go.
1.This was the only time the whole family was together.
2. It would have hurt Grandma' s feelings and maybe make JWs look bad.
3. No presents were exchanged.
4. It wasn't on her actual birth date.
The point is if you can reframe the event so your wife can rationalize it to herself, she won't feel like she is compromising.
(Instead of birthday party- family reunion, instead of christmas dinner😑-family dinner ect.
It worked for me.
Married: did your wife enjoy herself?
Hang in there.
There is pleasure in abstaining. People wouldn't do it if they didn't get something out of it.
So I gather nobody was killed at your mom's birthday bbq.