Finding a new family? First post!

by SpeedRacer 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • SpeedRacer

    Hi all,

    I have been lurking and reading for a couple weeks now. I love the topics and it has inspired me to say hello to all my fellow apostates. I was awakened to how my family feels about me and my wife shortly after the international assembly. I guess they feel that they can be swayed by my presence and are threatened by any questions I might bring up regarding the lack of science in their bible reasoning. I guess I just lost all of my family to a corporation and cult. I step into this doorway hoping to find many good friends who are not judgemental but understanding.

    I was raised in the JW's society (born 1962) and was dunked in 1993...I have faded out several times to be pushed into going back twice by my very large witness family. I divorced in 98 after a 17 year disaster ( will elaborate in detail later as it is a long horrible story ) and have been remarried for 6 years. I have not been in a KH in the last 11 years. I am not DF or DA but I would like to tell all why I decided to visit this site.

    I, like a lot of others was taught that opostate sites will suck you in. The only way this site will suck anyone in is by opening their eyes and seeing that everything we have been taught our whole life is basically a lie. I live just outside of Dallas in Allen Texas. My rather large family went to the international convention a couple months ago in Arlington. I had a conversation with my folks who live in Arkansas just before the convention and as usual my folks both invited me to meet them and go with them.( I had teeth that had to be pulled that I was really looking forward too, so I declined their invitation.) I spoke with my mom and we decided they would let me know when they arrived and one night after their service I and my wife would drive to Arlington and meet everyone for dinner. I hadn't seen my family in a couple years and was really looking forward to seeing them all. I have a large family that all are in the truth except for my 2 sons. (they didnt go and aren't associated with JW's) My family was always very close and this was huge surprise and caught me a little off gaurd. I never heard from them the whole weekend. Totally dissessssed! I talk with my folks more then my sisters and brother who live less then 4 minutes from them. I called my folks that Monday and was told by my mom that it was my decision to not see them when I turned down there invitation. She said nothing would draw them away from their god and if I didnt want to associate with the witnesses then I didn't want to associate with them. It completely blindsided me. I had to say goodbye to my whole family. I kills me to see them wasting their whole lives in this cult. I guess the society is working hard to clean the organization as IM not even DA just inactive. ( with no wish to ever go back to any religion)

    I ordered and just recieved today a copy of CoC and I can hardly wait to read it. I am pondering the idea of wrapping it up after I read it and sending it along with a note that reads something like this. Mom the package inclosed is not to be opened until you are ready and willing to understand why I have left the WT society. If you open this package, I ask that you read it completely even if it is something that makes you sick at your stomach. It is my only request. Then make up your own mind and know that I love you always.

    I truely am at a loss for words, I would have swore they would never turn there backs on me.

    If anyone lives in Dallas I would love a PM and the chance to get to know others on this board.

    I look forward to the future and my many new friends,


  • Ignoranceisbliss


    thanks for sharing your story. I am another from a large witness family. Its hard to imagine my family shunning me also. But I know that they would just like yours has. I hope that you can make the best of your situation.

  • Ding


    I look forward to your posts.

  • 4thgen

    Hello Speed, It's nice to meet you. Its so sad (and typical) for parents to disregard their childs thoughts and action, even though the 'child' is an adult with decades of service to the Watchtower. You are not alone. Hang in. You will meet some wonderful people on this board. Welcome! Hugs, 4thgen

  • ABibleStudent

    Welcome SpeedRacer, Sending your mother CoC may increase her cult persona's persecution complex. I'm sorry that your family are "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) JWs. It will be a lot tougher to help them critically think for themselves if they blindly follow the WTBTS's doctrines of not associating with non-JWs and faded JWs.

    If you want to communicate better with your JW family and friends when you get an opportunity, have you read information by cult-exit counselors like Steve Hassn's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest books) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visited his website, and/or watched his FREE videos on his website?

    Are you a member of Facebook? If you are, you can post pictures of your family doing fun activities and hobbies that your JW family might enjoy. It ain't much since the WTBTS is getting more controlling.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • jgnat

    Very sad to hear. Keep in mind right after the convention is when your mom would be under the most influence to "make a stand". Contrary to the WT advice, these strong-arm tactics do not bring lost loved-ones running back in to the embrace of the society!

    I am glad you have your sons.

  • Honesty

    Hi SpeedRacer!

    Don't worry too much about your conditional JW family because some of the younger ones may wake up and realize what they are involved.

    You'll find plenty of friends on this apostate board who will accept you as you are.

  • SpeedRacer

    Thanks all,

    I guess what through me for a loop was we had been talking about me visiting Arkansas in a month or so. They seemed excited about it until after they went to this cult gathering? Made me wonder what the WT washed their minds with about inactive ones.

    Something in me wants to have (THE DA) letter read to the congregation. Turn it on shun them but that would make me as bad as them. My youngest sister DA'ed me and hasnt uttered a single hello when I was married to my current wife 6 years ago since she is outside of the False Teachings of the Organization. My wife is worth the cost of one ignorant sister and sis cant take my love for her even if she wants too.


  • SpeedRacer

    My youngest sister was always striving to be an example sister and her and her 1st hubby where both regular pioneers. He was an elder (knew him since he was 6) and they lived on a shoe string.When they first married they lived day to day. Didnt have a working car so I purchased an old subaru and did a complete engine overhual and rebuild no charge. They drove it for years going out in service and not once did he or her ever say thank you. He ended up DF's for screwing their best friends wife. The husband about killed him....beat him badly. He came into work the next day with his face looking like a train had run over him. He moved out of state and she remarried and still lives day to day. How does the society get people to act this way to their family. Totally wrong even in the eyes of the world.

  • SpeedRacer


    I havent read Steve's books on cults but it is on my list. Educating myself now and learning new ways to xWitness. I read Barbara Andersons story and until that moment I always had this small question mark in my head if I was doing the right thing by running from the WT GB's. That question mark is completely gone. Thanks,


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