Wife got love bombed!

by lambsbottom 11 Replies latest jw friends

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  lambsbottom

  Hi everyone,

  So I have been doing a 90 day fast from anything JW related. Getting close to 2 months in. Went to a Baptist service this morning. I'm not 100% certain that I DO NOT want to be a JW, but have some SERIOUS problems with the ORG.

  Well, my wife is completely opposite! Her problem is with the social structure. She doesn't feel a lot of love and social support for moms her age.

  Anyway, she went tonight with the kids and told me she got "love bombed" (her words). Yep. Women engaging her, saying they should get dinner, and even one tearing up and saying "I just wanted me and my kids to make it into paradise...you need to be here". Well, my wife is fairly emotionally driven, especially socially driven. She sounds like it got to her. She said "I feel like anywhere we go is going to have problems". LOL! Any help as to what I should do?
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  zeb

  Sounds like they are drawing strength support from her but any way its superficial. The gushy type conversation reminds me of a past relative who would chatter on like a type writer on steroids but when asked to write a letter had nothing to say. They talk in a reactive way. One talks another counters, another talks first one counters after so many minutes all have talked but nothing has been said. Its amazing they didnt all ask her where her husband was.. after all a woman on her own goodness me keep all husband s away. Get the picture. Yes your wife may be socially driven and needs the contact but is that contact paper paste or super -glue?
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  lambsbottom

  @zeb. i hear you. sad. i think we need to move back to our home state. she isnt doing very well. We moved from west coast to midwest. im having a great time but shes depressed.
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  InChristAlone

  In my opinion, where you should go depends on what you want to get out of it. If the Bible is still an important facet in your life, you may want to simply seek Christ rather than seek another place to join. Every place has it's problems. If the beliefs of the Bible are not important to you, either find a place that meets your other needs or simply enjoy some much-needed family time. Come to think of it, that last suggestion sounds best either way.
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  LisaRose

  If she simply needs social support, she can get that at many other churches, without all the restrictions and negative aspects of the JWs. I think she will find the special support will be better too, with the JWs it's hot and cold, some congregation are good, others not so much. Is she open to visiting other churches to see what they are like? Many of them have mothers groups too, child care during services, etc.
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  ruderedhead

  You both have to know that the love bombing will end as soon as she becomes regular, don't you?
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  Perry

  Take your time. Look around. I go to a bible church. 200 members, traditional music, good teaching. Met an Iranian immigrant young woman there this morning at the service who has been recently attending a KH. Had a nice conversation. I explained how the Watchtower is similar to Islam in that you are dead to your family if you ever leave once you have joined. I explained how my 7 and 9 year old are shunned by my parents, brothers, and extended JW family despite never having even attended the KH.

  I also explained how that Jesus is not the Mediator for rank and file JWs, and how that they also reject the New Covenant for "foregiveness of sins" despite Jesus having clearly said so in Mt. 26: 27, 28.

  If that is what she wants .... she's free to do so as far as I'm concerned. However, after seeing the look on her face, I expect to see her at church again.
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  Crazyguy

  Good coment Perry, the reality of what she is getting into should be told to her point blank.
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  happy@last

  You say your wife needs social activities, how many times has she been love bombed by the JWs outside of the KH? Do you do many activities together? How was the Baptist service you went to?
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  smiddy

  Do these people who "love bombed" her , associate with her away from the KH ? or is it only at meetings they want to mix with her.

  Another form of "showy display" of ones life to the congregation , look at me , you can all see how I look after the "weak" ones in our congregation .

  And I say again , do they want to mix/associate with your wife away from the eyes of the congregation ?

  smiddy