Driving to the office this morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 100 mph with her face right up against the rear view mirror putting on her makeup.
I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still putting on her makeup.
It scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee cup between my legs, splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone and disconnected an important call.
DAMN WOMEN DRIVERS!