Update on Fading Question

by wallievase 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • wallievase

    The other day i posted my delimma about dealing with family and leaving.

    Update: My wife came home from the hall sunday (I have now missed about 3 weeks in a row) and the elders now want to schedule a sheperding call.

    Should i just blow them off, or when they come over (because im sure my wife will have them over even if i decline) just tell them i cant do it right now?


  • This is my tigersuit
    This is my tigersuit

    whats more important to you- having peace in your marriage or standing your ground?

  • LisaRose

    Just tell them you can't do it right now. No good can come of meeting with them. Say you are depressed, or going through a tough time, and you will let them know when you need their help (which will be a week from never).

  • This is my tigersuit
    This is my tigersuit

    keep this is mind: you dont owe anybody anything. the elders undoubtedly care about your family, at least i know i did care about people when i was elder. but they dont have any power over you and your family. they are supposed to HELP you in your efforts to be a jw. you are obviously awakened, therefore they are no help!


    Avoid meeting with them if at all possible......depression.....anxiety.......troubled......etc. If they do end up meeting with you and your wife, when you are asked ANY questions just reply with: 'I really have nothing to say'. Keep saying that to whatever questions are asked as a follow-up. You don't owe them any explanation about anything. They can't DF you for saying nothing. Even the U.S. Bill of Rights gives all citizens the right to 'remain silent' so as not to incriminate themselves. So if you don't say anything they will have nothing to use against you. Whatever happens, I wish you well.

  • LostGeneration

    Man up and be the head of your house.

    And by that, I don't mean push your wife around, I mean make your own decisions. Do what YOU want to do, if you don't want to meet, then don't. If you do, then do.

    At some point, if the elders are pussies, you are going to have to instruct them to deal with you, and not your wife. They will either not call, or if they do then you can say "no thanks" and hang up the phone.

    Play offense, and you will be surprised how quickly everyone backs off.

  • Ocean1111

    If you do get cornered, always ask questions, "answer" questions with more questions. That is don't raise accusations directly if there are those kinds of issues, ask them as questions, that may keep the "knee jerk" neo-Jesuit elders from reacting, because they never can actually answer the questions.

    Like why did Bethel go UN NGO? Do you, Joe Elder, think God is also going to buy the "library card" excuse? What's the story with Daniel 8:13-14???

    The Daniel 8:13-14 question stumps all elders even after they go and try to understand the Bethel fiction themselves.

  • sporece

    Don't do it..most likely your wife arranged it since she hopes they can help you and put some sense into you.

    Since you know it's not the truth and the watchtower is a cult and will be hard for you not to say something that merits DF.

    No need to meet with them

  • quellycatface

    You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. That's your right as an adult. Be loving but firm with your wife, tell her you will not be bullied by these people.

    All the best.

  • The Searcher
    The Searcher

    Firstly, tell your wife that she CANNOT and MUST not make any arrangements without your input.

    Secondly, thank the the Elders for their kind thoughts, but there's nothing that you want to discuss with anyone just now - thanks anyway!

    Thirdly, do NOT - repeat - do NOT voice any questions or statements regarding the Org's corrupt teachings. This will only set 'apostate' alarm bells ringing in the hit-men's heads, and then you WILL be targetted, and your wife will be privately questioned!

    Fourthly, do not reveal any false teachings to your wife - they will get that info out of her!

    In a nutshell - say nothing and meet with none of them!

Share this