About one year on

by thedog1 15 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • thedog1

    It's about a year since I started visiting this website. It all started with the July 15 WT last year and all the changes. Lazy me had not read it online so when one bro said to me at the hall, 'have you read all the new stuff in that issue' I didn't know what he was talking about. Then we had the re-emphasis on the 'overlapping generation' and various other things like the seven shepherds and eight dukes madness. The willingness to obey even if you don't understand/agree with what is going on. And coming up the week after next in the wt study is this gem :'If we are to have Jehovah's favor and blessing as individuals, we must support his organization and accept adjustments in our understanding of the Scriptures.' This is followed by a weird equating of Jewish Christians who had been under the Law and who might have found it hard to break free realizing through Paul's letter to the Hebrews that they had to adjust their understanding, to us being willing to follow all the crazy changes we are making now. Gimme strength.

    I've always thought of myself as a fairly loyal person. I've been a witness for a long time. My wife is a witness. All my close friends and a lot of close family members by marriage. I've gone through a phase up to recently where I thought I would crack mentally under this pressure. Now things have calmed down a bit and I am trying to make room for all the contradictions. For the moment, anyway. Doesn't help that I conduct the Wt study and am pretty involved. Not self-pitying, really, but just trying to work it out.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "I've always thought of myself as a fairly loyal person."

    WT wants loyal sheeples like you. But they are not a loyal organization. Imagine if WT were a person and being investigated by a judicial committee...

    WT: "So then I put my hands up her top and grabbed a feel."

    JC: "As you were doing this unclean fondling, did you think about how Jehovah would feel about this?"

    WT: "You misunderstand, I've never improperly touched anyone. I wasn't fondling the woman at all when I stole her purse. I've never even met her."

    JC: "Wait, you didn't fondle her, but you stole her property?"

    WT: "That never happened, please try to keep up with what I'm explaining to you. I didn't steal anything from her, I just took some pictures while she was taking a shower."

    JC: "What the? ... Are any of these stories going to stick for more than 10 seconds?"


    dog1: "For the moment, anyway. Doesn't help that I conduct the Wt study and am pretty involved. Not self-pitying, really, but just trying to work it out."

    Ugh. I had to conduct a few times after learning TTATT. I had no idea how I was going to exit, but a way appeared and I headed for the exit. As far as conducting the WT, just make it as boring as the JWs expect it to be with a few truthz thrown in for anyone paying attention. Don't bother to try to really understand anything in the WT, it can all be changed again very, very soon anyway. So, rather than understanding the "present truth", realize that their truth only has a shelf life of a couple of months. Here's some pointers on how to conduct...


  • Skinnedsheep

    Just a piece of unsolicited advice..

    I was in your shoes exactly a couple of years ago. Was the wt conductor and started to become physically ill before the meetings. I would conduct the study, and then come home and drink 6 beers watching football in silence. Every study that got crazier, I got crazier. There was one time that I contemplated suicide. As witnesses we are taught to stand up for what we believe in. As a wt conductor who not only knew the ttatt I couldnt not only not stand up for what I knew was true or false, I had to teach people falsehood.

    our minds are not made to deal with that internal conflict. I almost cracked until I realized I could stand up for what I believed in personally and resigned as an elder. I am happier than ever.

  • KateWild

    Billy loved the cartoon........thnx. Kate xx

  • LostGeneration

    Rather than "making room" for bullshit, why not shovel it out of your life and stop smelling it?

    At least quit being an elder and propogating lies, you'll feel much better about yourself even if some self-righteous JWs look down their noses at you for resigning your cult-enforcer job.

  • James Jackson
    James Jackson

    Been waiting to hear from you for awhile. Keep us updated on what is going on in your area, it is helping me to cope and adjust.

  • Daniel1555

    I was also an elder and I tried to figure out how I could resign.

    One day I told my wife that due to doubts I have I can no longer be an elder. I called the Cobe and wrote a letter of resignation due to doubts.

    I had to explain everything to the CO and then it was such a liberating feeling not being an elder anymore. Like a huge wheight lifted from my shoulders.

    Over about 1 year the elders tried to reason with me on my doubts afterwards. But if you stand firm they will loose the interest.

    When I look back I gave them too much authority. I should have said. My faith is between me and Jehovah. There is no need for lengthx discussions.

  • Daniel1555

    It might be better to resign for health reasons (worn out) or that you want to spend more time with your family.

  • problemaddict

    Its amazing to me how many similar experiences their always are here......and I have to say, don't stop communicating your feelings. like James says, it does alot of good for not just you but others too.

  • Doug Mason

Share this