Some people can be fair horrible. shunning your own grand kids on the street when they call out to you.!? Sour old b****.
I've been out 7 yrs. now. My mother's gone. My oldest daughter is still in. Evidently her nonJW husband doesn't want to rock the boat by bringing my grandkids over. So I have to live with it. It hurts less every year. I have since enjoyed my wife's nieces & nephews. My mother-in-law's house just swarms with kids on every holiday. I am the oldest of 9. I haven't seen many of them or my father in years. All live within 60 miles of me. And most are not JW's. What is family? Family has nothing to do with blood. Seek out those who love you. They're your family.
shunning has never made much sense to me...it seems to be based on treating people coldly and that way the ones shunned will want to come back ...but..if I want butterflies in my garden I plant things they like and that way attract them...shunning works in reverse..it is unbelievably cruel and is something I could never imagine 'jesus' would endorse....or practice...
A friend of mine who is not even disfellowshipped but walked away because he was honest with himself about his sexual orientation, has a mother who I personally knew and in no way seemed to be a dingbat.....send him the occasional condolances or funeral card.
Yes his mother sends him a mourning card from time to time. Just a friendly reminder he will die and she is prepared for it.
If he receives anything now, he just writes return to sender on it and throws it back in the mailbox.
The woman would never talk to her grandchildren because her son was DF. She will just walk by and pretend that she does not see them. She was one the most active pioneer and would cover large area in day. She died alone while her six year old grandson was wondering why granny would not talk to him when they met on the street of very small city.
I have been shunned by family (aunts, cousins, uncle and grandmother, plus friends) for over 9 years.
I knew when I left what it meant. It was very difficult, as I did try reach out to my family. I'd bake cakes and send, send money, you know little things. But it was always received with a condition or it was thrown back. I decided that I had to move on. It wasn't easy, but it got easier, to the point now that I don't even concern myself at all with that family. I have friends and family that love me for me regardless of what I beleive. Those are the relationships I will nurture, those are the people I will surround myself with and love.
You got to start looking after you. You've got to realise that they will never change but you can. You can move on. You chose to be free of a religion, you should be celebrating that freedom with the people in your life that love you for you.
Those family members and beliefs are in your past. Grab hold of today and cherish it.