A few bad apples hey?

by sparrowdown 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • sparrowdown

    A witness couple just called on me. He is an MS.

    They know I have'nt been to the hall for a few months but have no idea that I am "off reservation" in more ways than one.

    They called by to tell me they that due to the "unloving spirit" in our

    congregation they will be going to another hall from now on.

    The husband has been having ongoing "issues" with the COBE for some time ( IOW,he hates his guts).

    They feel that if they move to another cong where the people are nicer everything will be ok. (yeah, right)

    I wanted to tell them that it's not just "a few bad apples" it's the barrel itself that's the problem.

    I just gave them tea and sympathy and told them they needed to do what was best for them.

    Should I have said more?

  • happy@last
    [email protected]

    You could have sown some seeds, the new cong will love bomb them for a while and then maybe the cracks will appear to them again. Keep in touch if you think they may need some help in seeing it for what it truly is

  • sparrowdown

    You are right [email protected], they will get a right royal love-bombing, that's is what they are hoping for.

    They want to be back in "the loving bosom" once again. It' like a drug.

  • TableForOne

    "I wanted to tell them it's not just "a few bad apples" it's the barrel itself that's the problem."

    Spot on!

    Now's a good time to sow seeds of doubt in order to help others to wake up. It should come across as sincere.

    Once you're labelled an 'apostate' their defenses will go up and anything you say will likely be ineffective.

  • sparrowdown

    Exactly TFO- Choose my words carefully so they don't run away screaming "blue apostasy" before I sow a few seeds of doubt.

  • quellycatface

    The congregation does'nt make ANY difference. I was in 5 congregations in the space of 2 1/2 years. Trust me on this one.

  • westiebilly11

    rotten apples?...whole orchard is rotten. Here in uk the recent/current abuse cover up scandal has shown me and others that far from being 'gifts in men' and 'big trees of refreshment' and 'shepherds of the flock' elders etc are not fit for purpose and by extension the congregational arangement stinks. Love?..Justice?...if you're hoping to find such qualities in the congregation be prepared to be disappointed. Sure, there are genuinely nice people...but they would be equally nice if they were out in world too... Personally I have known some very peculiar elders with really distorted views of what life is about.

  • Scully

    I've known people who do this too.

    They move from one congregation to another, hoping to find that elusive Congregationā„¢ that will provide the ultimate experience in Christian Loveā„¢, fellowship and opportunities for spiritual growth.

    They always end up disappointed, because they are looking outside themselves and counting on others to fulfill their fantasy experience. They'll only ever find the peace and contentment they're looking for by looking inward... inside themselves.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "Should I have said more?"

    If these are people you actually like and care about, you might try following up with them to see how they are doing, planting seeds if you see the opportunity.

    If you don't really care about keeping in touch with them, you've already shown them a good measure of kindness.

    JWs are fed the idea that they're in a "spiritual paradise". They don't expect perfection, but they do expect love, kindness, genuine friendship. Then you often have the "anchored publishers" that have their version of "spiritual paradise" and any publishers that don't fit into their model are unhappy. When they see the reality in congregations that range from "troubled, but trying" to "outright civil war", they conclude "it must just be this congregation." So they pack their bags to find the elusive "spiritual paradise." Then the process repeats.

  • Iown Mylife
    Iown Mylife

    You are all absolutely right! and haven't you seen some jw looking down their noses at new arrivals from nearby congregations, or chuckling gleefully when some disgruntled left for nearby congregations? We did both and knew people who did, too.

    You know when you're moving towns and they throw you a going-away party? That means they don't want to see your dogface back in these parts again.

    "We said goodbye to you - what're you doing back here?!"


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