What is your status???

by lrkr 12 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • lrkr

    My family and I are planning a trip to a nice vacation area close to where my (active JW) parents and sister and brother in law live. My family and I are not DF'd, DA'd or anything else- we just executed a successful fade and havent looked back. Sooo- I've expressed my interest in spending some time with them on vacation (why not- right??). The JW barriers have come up and they are now worried about me. My dad and brother have had detailed conversations with me and understand that I am an athiest. But the real question I have gotten lately is:

    What is your status????? (in the organization)

    I have told them that I have zero status in the organization- I'm not DFd, DAd or officially "disciplined"- just minding my own business. My dad asked me what I tell the witnesses when they come to the door. I told him that they never come to the door anymore. (he was disappointed- brothers not following that direction to reach out to inactive souls like us...)

    I then assured them that my love for them is unconditional and I am always available to spend time- whatever they feel comfortable with.

    But this focus on status is very annoying, and interesting. I want to tell them that my affection and love for them will never be conditioned upon their status with any organization.

    Just sharing my latest "faded JW" feelings. The one annoying thing- is that I ever did bring the Borgs attention and receive an official "status" that might end my uneasy relationship with my parents and siblings. Guess I'll have thing twice before running for office!!

    Anyone else have similar experiences??

  • Bob_NC

    Oh yes. It's all part of the cult control mechanism. Your reply would work with me, I think anyway. "My status is, you are my family and I love you and want to see you. That's all."

    Interestingly, other "Christian" groups do something similar with questions about "Where are you on your walk with the Lord?"

  • Anony Mous
    Anony Mous

    You cannot have a non-status with them. Have you seen the last few years emphasis on not communicating with non-JW's especially if they're ex-JW's or inactive (which is what you're probably are). The sect isolates people from those that do not tow the party line, it's that simple, if you're not with them you're against them, their literature is pretty clear about that.

  • sparrowdown

    My status: fellow human being. That's the only one that matters.

  • Ignoranceisbliss

    My brother performed a successful fade about ten years ago. My family (dad is an elder) include him in all family functions. Where it might get interesting is if he decides to celebrate Christmas. He just had a baby and I would think he would want to do that since he doesn't view himself as a witness anymore. That might put the rest of my family in an interesting predicament. If any one ever suggests that we need to start treating him differently it will cause some major divisions. I will never shuN him. Now I imagine that if he had ever taken a stand against the Borg it would be a whole different story.

  • lrkr

    It is a bit of a stuggle- do you stand by your principles and oppose the organization, and do whatever the hell you want to do, and risk getting the "label"- which ends family relationships.

    Or do you go quietly- and not poke the dragon. I've chosen the latter- for now....

    Fortunately for me- we live far enough away that I can celebrate Christmas, vote, even run a Halloween parade for my community and no one needs to know anything. On the opposite coast- they are happy to hear that my "status" is not Dfd or DAd. But if there comes a time where there is something I really want, and I dont want the Org to have a say in what I do- I will have to make a choice between free will and maintaining a relationship with my family.

    Kinda sucks. But I know that there are thousands of you out there that dont have that choice and are living with the abandonment.

  • lrkr

    @Mous- I really have not "seen" anything over the last few years from the Org. My only source of info is this board. I kinda like that!!

  • lrkr

    @Bob- yes- that's exactly the message I'm trying to portray. That blood is thicker than whatever religious opinions I or they have at any given time. Hopefully that message will break through the brainwashing.

  • DesirousOfChange

    I think it's best to be a "weak, inactive JW".

    They are obligated to "help" you then vs shun you.


  • LostGeneration

    Funny and sad at the same time. Its like their brains are like a computer program searching for what to do in this situation and its a big "does not compute" loop that keeps playing in their mind.

    Pretty sick when they just can't accept their family for who they are.

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