My wife is never going to wake up.

by marriedtoajw 32 Replies latest jw friends

  • marriedtoajw

    Djs - Again, the right thing according to who?

  • jgnat

    My mother was very difficult to live with, especially after her mental illness fully took hold. I was the oldest of three children and I vividly remember the weekend my dad left to have a good think. He decided to come back, and I am convinced he did it for us. Back in the 1970's, it would have been very unlikely that he would have been given custody, even with mom's obvious problems. Besides, mom never lets go of a grudge, which she proved five years later when dad finally left. We were grown, so what did he need to hang around for? She tried her best to make the divorce as miserable as possible, while he bent over backwards to make sure she was cared for. Not a lot of gratefulness there, let me tell you.

    My mother tried to infect me with her bitterness, by insisting that we talk about dad. She meant the freedom for her to rant on and on about dad. I shut that down right quick when I told her that I thought the divorce was the best thing that ever happened for my relationship with dad. I now had a chance to know him as a real person with vulnerabilities and needs of his own. She clammed up after that, LOL.

    I say all this because I am thinking of your younger ones. They need you, and it is great that you are around. Can you slow down the hamster wheel and cut back on your hours somewhat? Put your wife on an allowance? You can do that with non-working spouses. If she is materialistic enough, she can find part-time work. It might even cut in on her study/field service time. Yaay.

    Do you have separate bank accounts? If not, that might be a wise move on your part.

  • DJS


    The right thing? Honesty, decency, kindness, generosity, moderate in all habits. I quit worrying about the individual rules associated with various religions a long time ago. Study Buddha's 8 fold pathway. Research the ancient pagan philosphy: "Harm no one." I live by that. As long as I'm not harming anyone I give it no thought. And by anyone I'm not talking about invisible or make believe creatures. It isn't complicated; we just made it so.

Share this