Any strategies to deal with elders who just don't like you?

toto555

So any ways to deal or cope with elders who just don't like you (you didn't do anything wrong or they're just making stuff up about you) assuming that you can't leave? Especially when it comes to for example becoming appointed as an elder. Or are you pretty much "dead in the water" if the elders are determined to like you despite reasonable efforts to win them over. What do you think and does any body have any stories or experiences in this regard?

stuckinarut2

I have two influential ones on the same body in my cong who are dead set against me as a person....they just don't like me and try hard to find fault with every talk or comment I ever give!

i just don't let them affect me! I keep going on as normal....stuff them.....

NAVYTOWN

One approach is to privately tell the offending elders to 'piss off'. If they are determined to dislike you, why should you care what they think? And why bother trying to get appointed as an elder? Do you really want to be part of that bunch? Best bet is to gradually back away from involvement as much as you can.....skip meetings, don't comment, little or no field service, no kissing the elders' asses. If you MUST remain a JW, at least fade as much as possible. Maybe at some future time you can DA completely. Just some suggestions.

twice shy

Bet you never thought in a million years you would see one of Jehovah's happy Elders envious of you.

ENVY can be a hurtful thang

Jealousy usually runs by it's side.

Bungi Bill

From the point of view of somebody who has been "out" for 20 years, the good old two fingered salute sounds to me as good approach as any!

Bill

designs

If you are going to be a JW for a few more years think about changing Halls. Abusive people don't change and you don't deserve the hassle.

blondie

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/groucho_marx.html#lhj0bCoR4PCDoGsH.99 I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/g/groucho_marx.html#lhj0bCoR4PCDoGsH.99

If you know one elder is giving you crap, the other elders know that and aren't doing anything to stop it. Why not just ignore them and do the more important things you can do as a person to help people in the congregation, be supportive and kind. Men and women, old and young, you don't need to be appointed by holy spirit to do such things. Groucho Marx realized that some groups would want him but he would not be part of them...he was Jewish and most clubs in real life would not have accepted him and he did not want to be part of a group like that.

I sent the club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER".
- Telegram to the Friar's Club of Beverly Hills to which he belonged, as recounted in Groucho and Me (1959), p. 321
[Variant:] "Please accept my resignation. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member".
- As quoted in The Groucho Letters (1967) by Arthur Sheekman. The sentiment predates Marx by 61 years, however; it likely originated with John Galsworthy in The Forsyte Saga. In Part I, Chapter II, "Old Jolyon Goes to the Opera", it's said of Old Jolyon that, "He naturally despised the Club that did take him." after another refused him because he was in a trade.

Tiktaalik

Leave. And never go back.

outinthemeadows

KNEE THEM IN THE BOLLOCKS.......WORKED FOR ME

.....or you could try threatening them with a law suit.....then they would have to drop everything and phone the legal department who will tell them not to admit to anything.

DJS

Stop going to the KH. If you can't do that: 1. Say nice things about them to others. Try to be 'real' about the compliments, make them applicable. If you can say them in the car during FS that would be optimal. 2. When you comment at the meetings (assuming you do), try to mention them during your comments, such as "As Bro Pain in the Ass always says, . . . "

Indirect brown nosing. Works effectively and you don't have to throw up so much.

Any strategies to deal with elders who just don't like you?

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