Life after meetings

GoUnion

what are the positives in your life since leaving JWs? Mine would be a healthier lifestyle mentally and physically. I'm free to do what I want and can make my own decisions, is this good for me will it help me or could it hurt someone else? I like making choices based on that, not could it stumble some self-righteous prick. the free time I have now to help around the house or go to the gym is amazing as well, I just feel more relaxed and calmer.

the negative aspect would be strained relationships with my parents, wife, and friends. My parents will have nothing to do with me even though I'm not dfed I am still amazed how quickly I was dropped. things are fine with my wife i just want to explain why I have quit going but she is not ready to deal withe all that yet. I have had zero contact with most of my friends once they heard about me and that sucks but I will not be drawn back in for conditional friendship.

what was nice is I have started reconnecting with my brother who refused to join growing up as a jw and now has little to do with my parents. I was stunned when he told me how he felt abandoned when he was 16 and has felt that way since and he is right. It just makes the craziness of the organization that much more real to me. It is sad when I really start looking around the organization all the broken families.

Coffee House Girl

The positives for me are an awakened and hungry mind....I still have trouble with the whole criticall thinking thing, but college has really helped me to try and analyze information, ask questions, and take time to formulate my own opinions about many things. It's funny, my family doesn't have anything really to do with me anymore (or JW friends- they have all moved on without me and that is okay).....but I don't miss them like I thought I would. Shortly after my departure (now 4 years ago), my mother did ask me when I came to her house to do some cleaning for her since she is older and needs help with some things...."Coffee House Girl, what do you do with yourself with no meetings?"

Its funny how JWs think that leaving will create this huge void in your life...but in reality you quickly fill it with many things, and I am just as busy now as I was in the cult, except now I don't feel as exhausted because I am no longer spinning my wheels doing work that is unfulfilling to me....my life is full doing what excites me!

Its good that you are excercising and taking good care of yourself! You must see what a physical toll the JW lifestyle has on your former JW friends, and connecting with your brother is excellent for you both, he has needed you in his life and now you two have each other!

Thanks for sharing,

CHG

Xanthippe

GoUnion I'm glad things are good with your wife and you have reconnected with your brother, riches indeed. I fill my time with reading, gardening, gym, walking in the countryside, cooking, cinema and theatre, a little voluntary work. Oh yes and my job! Which I enjoy, most of the time. I too am so much healthier now than I was in my twenties in that religion. If I hadn't left I would be like my sisters, hanging on to health by the skin of my teeth.

They don't talk to me, have'nt done for twenty-five years. Neither does my brother who is an elder. Like you I don't miss them as much as I thought I would. We have nothing in common now. Hope all keeps going well for you.

GoUnion

You are exactly right Coffee Girl! I attended a funeral a few weeks ago and all the JWs just looked run down, tired, and out of shape. The demands on their time is not reall fair considering how hard it is just to take care of yourself. I'm hoping my wife will slowly see the happier changes in my life and recognize it's just from the free time I have now.

WTWizard

I no longer worry about rushing to the boasting sessions or to make field circus. That was a waste of time. Rather, I can simply do what I enjoy.

No more worry about Christmas music. I just listen to it now, and many of the songs are enjoyable. Even though I no longer believe in Jesus, many of the songs are good entertainment value and I view it as that. I also no longer dread seeing Christmas decorations going up--in fact, I put them up myself. Yes, there are times when I would have spent just as much time in field circus. However, there is no suit time. No having to answer to idiots that judge others by the tiniest characteristics. And the place looks better once the decorations go up.

I now enjoy my music for entertainment. No more worrying about stumbling others, or having to listen to it for guidance. Music should be entertainment first. It is not meant for guidance--I can listen to Eminem or 50 Cent shooting up the place or D12 popping those purple pills without worrying about stumbling anyone. It is just entertainment, and I don't need to pop the same pills myself.

I don't have to worry about material things. Will it stumble someone? I no longer give a fxxx. Rather, I get the best I can afford and it usually lasts longer than the cheap crap the jokehovians get. And, no more worrying about the donations, especially now that they are going to start pledging funds on a regular basis. No more wasting money on gas, dry cleaning bills, or going to the Grand Boasting Session.

KateWild

GoUnion,

Well done for moving on. It is a fine example to your wife, especially with you helping round the house more. It's a shame how your parents are treating you, but this will be the example to your wife as well and she may not think it's very Christian of them.

Thanks for the update

Kate xx

LongHairGal

GoUnion:

Life becomes wonderful after you stop attending these waste of time meetings. I hadn't realized what a bad habit and a rut I was in until I actually stopped. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief and fresh air after dropping that load of bricks! I came to remember the free feeling I had before I got sucked into the Witness trap.....I would never trade my freedom again.

I am glad you are reconnecting with your brother and I can say you will never regret it. At least it isn't too late to have some sort of a relationship with a family member. Be glad you are out of there.

Good luck!

prologos

life after meetings? there IS

life after THE meetings !

it happens AFTER every meeting, it

feels like the resurrection, an awakening after a numbing nightmare.

Oubliette

GoUnion: My parents will have nothing to do with me even though I'm not dfed I am still amazed how quickly I was dropped.

It's pretty shocking, isn't it.

When we're "in" we really believe that we are part of this special "brotherhood." John 13:35 and all that crap.

By this all will know that you are my disciples—if you have love among yourselves. - John 13:35

When we're "out," we find out in very short order that none of it was real.

There is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. - Proverbs 18:24

None of it is true.

If it's conditional, it ain't love.

Mum

I have been out since 1979. I got a B.A. degree, traveled without having to attend an assembly, got my daughter un-indoctrinated. She has a degree in chemistry and a wonderful husband. My granddaughter and great granddaughter have had NO exposure to the JW's except that my granddaughter attended a couple of meetings when visiting her grandfather (from whom I have been divorced since 1981). My granddaughter, after attending a meeting, said, "They're insane!" Bright girl!

I have read many self-help books and got a handle on my feelings and priorities. I had a lot of jobs, one of which is providing me with a good retirement income. I do what I like, and like what I do.

Leaving my first husband and the JW's was the scariest thing I ever did. I almost didn't survive emotionally, and my daughter was used as a pawn to control me. But I can say the outcome was all worth it.

Congratulations on a new and better life!

Life after meetings

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