Advice, Opinions, Please!

by mellojello 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • villagegirl
    villagegirl

    mellojello - all above advice is good - You don't say how long you were in

    how old you, are or what made you leave. I found other people , just being

    around others in some productive activity - for me it was teaching in a small

    school, doing some projects, interacting in a group, could be a sports team,

    or in some hobby you like, like joining a club that goes out bird watching,

    anything that puts you in a social context that is cooperative and friendly.

    Dating roght off is really putting pressure on yourself. Ex-JW's all have poor

    social skills, I gathered this after hanging out on this forum for a while. I was so

    relieved to find that out, because, I thought I was the only one. Terrible social skills.

    We learned that by the "US and THEM" mentality and the pious belief we belonged

    to the "sole survivors club". Climbing down off the high horse is scary. What ?

    I am just like everybody else ? God loves all those other people too ?

    How could that be possible ? What ? Birthdays and Christmas are the least of God's

    concern ? What are they doing ? They all partake of the "emblems" ? They all

    think they are one big body of Christ ? "I was hungry and you fed me " actually

    means, caring for the poor and starving ? Charity is actually a good thing ?

    So many strange ideas to assimilate. Its exhausting. I now have a box of

    Christmas decorations, I carefully put away and can't wait to use them next

    years. I have a string of tiny angels all carrying candles that I put in my window.

    Education is good, of course, and in a classroom you get to hear ideas and

    express yourself in writing and in speaking and you learn to argue and debate.

    Emotionally, look for a group to hang with, that does fun stuff, outdoors or indoors.

  • mellojello
    mellojello

    I've been studying/involved with the witnesses ever since I was 15 and I'm about to turn 20 this month, so its been about 5 years. Since I've been at college, I've been taking in as much knowledge as I could and to be honest it feels great :) I love this forum for the freedom its given me

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    I've always found it hard not to celebrate birthdays and Christmas. When I married my non-jw hubs, I kind of "went with the flow", going out for meals on birth "days" buying Christmas food and singing carols.

    I started fading in 2006 though. I went back for a few months last year but it was never in my heart.

    I hope I don't offend anyone but I don't believe not having sex before marriage. God gave us feelings and senses to experience things. I won't labour the point but you get the picture.

    I didn't like Jehovah too much. I like God and Jesus though and I go to a "normal" church now, where they don't make you feel guilty, or expect anything from you.

    My relationship with the world is also better now I'm out of the cult.

  • cultBgone
    cultBgone

    Hi, Mello!

    Learning to think and reason for yourself is SOOO liberating!

    Funny...we used to be taught in jw-land that while "other" religions have rules, jws have only "principles". Sadly that's also just another lie as jws are simply buried in rules.

    You, however, actually get to choose to live by whatever wonderful principles of life you set up for yourself!

    If I had to pick just one, it would be to treat everyone else with kindness (do unto others...) simply because it works. And it refines us individually.

    Btw, satan is a mythical figure made into a giant villian by the jws to scare you into obedience. He's not any more real than santa claus or the monster in your closet.

    And most people are just really searching for answers too...we all just want to be happy.

    (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))

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