I think I was lucky. I never knew any bossy elder's wives. They were always nice. I did know bossy, busybody sisters though. My sister was one of them. I went to 5 congregations. Really, only one of the congregations I went to had a problem elder or two. It was more the extremely warped work ethic that the literature writers, and whoever it was that was directing them, encouraged that caused problems. They encouraged a pharisee type attitude in those who were susceptible. Those turned around and made everyone else miserable.
I did know one elder's wife who seemed cold and unfriendly, but I figured out later that she had social anxiety. It was hard for her to be outgoing.
Man oh man ... I love this thread.
Remember a few Elderettes. Somewhat officious is the word I will use.
That acronym: C.O.W. - was a good one too! I recall one that would fit the bill nicely.
I'd like to call some of those Elderettes: the 'OTHER' Judicial Committee.
Officious is exactly the word!
Like the one who took it upon herself to tell me that she observed my daughter having an "intimate" conversation with a worldly boy.
I swear that's the term she used.